Title: The Tontine
Directed by: Homer Powell
Written by: Dick Wesson and Nat Mauldin (story), Nat Mauldin (teleplay)
Air Date: January 7, 1982
Previous: Homeless
Next: Examination Day
Guest Starring: Ivor Francis, Ian Wolfe, Jay Robinson, Dennis Lipscomb
"The Tontine" is the eighth episode of the eighth season of Barney Miller.
Wojo and Harris bring in Mr. Dennis Lipscomb, a CPR instructor. Mr. Lipscomb was giving a CPR instruction class at Siegel's Department Store, but the people there were more interested in a Tupperware demonstration, so Mr. Lipscomb flipped out and trashed the Tupperware demonstration. Mr. Lipscomb was brought in along with his demonstration dummy "Vicky", and is revealed to have a very very unhealthy relationship with Vicky. He talks to Vicky as if she is a person and thinks she doesn't talk because she's shy around strangers.
Not long after that Wojo and Dietrich go out for a case of a jumper on a ledge, and bring back Mr. Henry Mercurio. Mr. Mercurio isn't all that suicidal, really, but it seems that he and his cousin Joseph Spidonie are the last two surviving members of a family tontine. They're both old men, and they played a game of chess to see which one of them would get the tontine, and Mr. Mercurio lost.
Meanwhile, Liz wants to go on a Caribbean vacation and is pestering Barney with phone calls. Officer Levitt is also pestering Barney, wondering what the delay has been in Levitt getting the Medal of Valor he was promised for saving the life of a 10-year-old boy in "The Car". When Barney says that he needs testimonials from the witnesses, Levitt brings them all into the squad room.
Tropes:
- Amoral Attorney: Mr. Sharp, the oily lawyer (Jay Robinson), who not only refuses to work out some kind of a deal about the tontine but seems to hope that Mr. Mercurio will kill himself so that he, Mr. Sharp, won't have to manage the tontine anymore.
- Black Comedy: When Mr. Spidonie collapses from a heart attack, Mr. Sharp the lawyer says "We have a winner!"
- Chekhov's Skill: The shock of learning that the tontine has grown to $750,000 causes Mr. Spidonie to have a heart attack. Good thing a CPR instructor (Mr. Lipscomb) is being held in the cage!
- CPR: Clean, Pretty, Reliable: Naturally, Mr. Lipscomb the CPR instructor saves the life of Mr. Spidonie, who is awake and talking as he's wheeled out of the squad room.
- Companion Cube: Mr. Lipscomb is a nut job who not only talks to Vicky the dummy as if she were a person, but seems to think that Vicky is his girlfriend. He promises her that after they get out of jail, they can take a bath together.
- Continuity Nod:
- Barney thinks that he shouldn't take a vacation because the 12th Precinct is short handed and there's too much work to be done. Dietrich says "Things went pretty smooth when you were in jail!", which is a reference to Season 7 two-parter "Contempt", when Barney was jailed for contempt of court after refusing to name a confidential informant.
- The plot from the third episode of this season, "The Car", about Levitt saving a child and winning a Medal of Valor is referenced again. Levitt is even more annoying than usual, wondering what the delay is in receiving his medal.
- Hidden Depths: Subverted. Barney is told that the jumper was part of a tontine. He sighs, turns to Dietrich for the usual explanatory lecture, only for Wojo to surprise him by explaining what a tontine is. After finishing, a sheepish Wojo says "That's what Dietrich said."
- Seinfeldian Conversation: Barney's phone chats with Liz, like when he expresses frustration after she tries to get him to buy a "Bahamas on a Budget" package.
- Talking Down the Suicidal: Detectives from the 12th Precinct were often called out for this, but this is an unusual case, as the jumper is an old guy who was trying to bow out of a tontine.
- Tontine: Mr. Mercurio and Mr. Spidone are the last two family members eligible to inherit a tontine that is nearly 50 years old. They are pretty surprised when the lawyer, Mr. Sharp, tells them that the $3000 the whole family invested back in the day has grown to $750K.
