Title: The Desk
Directed by: Noam Pitlik
Written by: Frank Dungan and Jeff Stein
Air Date: November 22, 1979
Previous: The Bird
Next: The Judge
Guest Starring: Don Calfa, Alex Henteloff, Jeff Corey, Fred Sadoff
"The Desk" is the eighth episode of the sixth season of Barney Miller.
Wojo brings in an armed robbery suspect, one Gilbert Lesco, arrested for holding up a liquor store—with an obviously fake toy ray gun. At first the men of the 12th assume that Mr. Lesco, whose weird crime is accompanied by an oddly detached manner, is on drugs. However, a background check reveals that 1) he used to be a hardened criminal who pulled off bank robberies, and 2) the "hotel" where he's staying is actually a halfway house for mental patients. Eventually, Mr. Lesco reveals that he was given an amygdalotomy, which is basically a deluxe lobotomy.
Mr. Lesco's regular defense attorney is the 12th's old enemy, sleazy lawyer Arnold Ripner. Arnold is horrified at the Empty Shell that Mr. Lesco has become, and immediately threatens a lawsuit. Eventually the doctor, one Milton Prentice, is called in to defend his actions.
The second wacky case involves an Amish man, Caleb Webber, who came to NYC to see about a "hay clipper" and got mugged. Mr. Webber has another problem: with no one to call (no telephones where he lives) and no money, he has no way to get home.
Tropes:
- Continuity Nod: An appalled Ripner says "the last time I came, my client was dead! Now he's a vegetable!". That "last time" is Season 4's "Blizzard" in which Ripner's client did in fact have a heart attack and die in the squad room.
- Empty Shell: The sad fate of Mr. Lesco. Dr. Prentice tries to defend his actions by saying that Mr. Lesco is "not unhappy." Mr. Lesco agrees, then says "I'm not happy either. I'm just...here."
- Even Evil Has Standards: Ripner tells Dr. Prentice that if he ever monkeys with Mr. Lesco's brain again, Ripner will sue him, and he'll do it for free. As Ripner is leaving later, Barney corners him and says, with a smug grin, that Ripner's promise might be considered "noble."Ripner: That could be slander!
- Fish out of Water: Mr. Webber, an Amish man in New York. After Harris talks him into calling for a ride back, Mr. Webber holds up the receiver and says "Do you know anyone else with a telephone?".
- Handshake Refusal: Harris refuses to shake Ripner's offered hand.
- Lobotomy: Mr. Lesco the career criminal was given an amygdalotomy. It's left him an Empty Shell with mental impairment and a lack of affect.
- Ludd Was Right: Mr. Webber, who has watched the whole deal with Mr. Lesco go down, says as he's leaving, "Guess our remedies aren't quite progressed like yours."
- Mood Whiplash: The episode takes a darker turn when Mr. Lesco, seemingly a Cloudcuckoolander, is revealed to actually be a lobotomized Empty Shell.
- Premature Encapsulation: This episode is called "The Desk" but no desk is discussed. It was the next episode, "The Judge", that involved Barney getting the late Nick Yemana's old desk back.
- Tension-Cutting Laughter: Everyone is stunned when Dietrich explains what an amygdalotomy entails. After a tense Beat Dietrich says "Anybody catch Lucy last night?....Beats the hell out of this topic."
- The Simple Life is Simple: Lesco asks Webber what farm work is like.Webber. Wake up, feed the chickens, milk the cows, get some water, chop wood, plow a few acres.Lesco. Then what?Webber. Breakfast.
- Unusual Euphemism: Wojo copies Harris's habit of unusual euphemisms for mental hospitals by describing Mr. Lesco's halfway house as "the Waldorf-Hysteria." When Barney gives him a baleful look Wojo says "Well Harris does it!".
