Title: Hash
Directed by: Noam Pitlik
Written by: Tom Reeder
Air Date: December 30, 1976
Previous: Christmas Story
Next: Smog Alert
Guest Starring: Walter Janowicz, George Perina, Ed Peck, Ron Carey
"Hash" is the 11th episode of the third season of Barney Miller.
It's another day in the life of the 12th Precinct. Yemana and Harris bring in two men who were dueling in a park with sabers, of all things; it turns out that they are a Polish actor and a Polish drama critic, and the former was enraged by the latter's negative review. (This gives Wojo the opportunity to translate when the two men jabber at each other in Polish.) Fish is greeted by an old acquaintance, one Officer Slater, who went to the academy with him and was once a rival for Bernice's affections.
Meanwhile, Wojo brings in a box of brownies, baked for him by his new girlfriend Gloria. Everybody has one except for Barney, who is watching his weight. Unfortunately it turns out that Gloria laced the brownies with hashish! Intoxication Ensues as the detectives either get high or get very high, Yemana the worst. Poor Barney is left scrambling to avoid embarrassment and get his men home safely.
Probably the most famous episode of Barney Miller and the one that is most likely to turn up in highlight clips of "best of" lists.
Tropes:
- Aw, Look! They Really Do Love Each Other: Fish always made disparaging comments about his wife, but when Officer Slater makes one too many suggestive remarks in this episode, Fish gets angry and tells Slater to stay the hell away from Bernice.
- Bad to the Last Drop: A Running Gag. Barney asks "how's the coffee" and Fish says "thick."
- Bilingual Bonus: A conversation takes place between two suspects and (briefly) Wojo in Polish without subtitles.
- Comically Missing the Point: After Intoxication Ensues from the hash brownies, Barney is worried about Yemana, who is very high. He asks Harris, who is slightly less high.Barney: How's Nick?Harris: I like him!
- Cunning Linguist: Wojciehowicz briefly interprets (since Reality Has No Subtitles) for two elderly Polish men, caught dueling with swords in the park, until they're able to pull themselves together. Naturally, Wojo's a beat behind and continues translating even after they begin speaking English.note
- Fingertip Drug Analysis: Parodied.Barney: Harris, have these analyzed, and fast!Harris: [takes another brownie and is about to bite into it]Barney: NOT THAT WAY!
- Drugs Are Good: Part of the punchline is that the hash makes everyone feel great. Everybody's giddy and happy, Fish the old man makes a 12-foot leap between rooftops, and it just seems like a great time.Barney: [to Harris] Stay home until you feel better.
Harris: OK Barn, I'll go, [grins broadly] but I ain't never gonna feel no better. - Freeze-Frame Bonus: Yemana is reading a four-month old copy of the New York Times. The front-page headline is about Reagan and Ford and the 1976 Republican convention.
- Height Angst: The diminutive Levitt (Ron Carey in his second appearance; he eventually became a regular) is always self-conscious about being short and blames his failure to get promoted to detective on being too short. Levitt, angling for that promotion, hands his service record to Barney and says its got everything in there except height.
- Hollywood Tone-Deaf: Yemana, tripping on hash, sings "Almost Like Being in Love" from Brigadoon. He is horribly off-key. Jack Soo was a veteran of musical theater who sang in nightclubs before he got his big break in the Broadway production of musical Flower Drum Song.
- Insult to Rocks: The Polish actor fumes over a review in which the Polish critic said he played his role "like a howling jackass". The irritated critic says, "I apologize to the jackasses!"note
- Intoxication Ensues: All the detectives eat what they assume are harmless brownies, only to get high off of hashish.
- Mushroom Samba: Wojo's girlfriend-of-the-week gave him a box of homemade brownies laced with hashish. Everyone but Barney (who's watching his weight) become affected by them in different ways - Yemana thinking his legs had walked off, Harris getting giggly, and Fish jumping across a roof to chase down a suspect a third his age.Fish: The first time in twenty-five years I've felt really good... and it has to be illegal!
- Roof Hopping: The hash brownies allow Fish to jump a 12-foot gap between buildings to run down a burglary suspect.
- Straight Man: Barney was always the straight man who reacted to the funny detectives, but never more so than in this episode where everybody else gets high and poor Barney has to keep everything under control.
