When Hayley goes on a rampage after getting dumped by Jeff, Stan decides to prevent anyone else from dating her, until she takes up with Bill, his CIA body double. Meanwhile, Steve and Roger get jobs identifying male and female chickens at a Chinese factory.
Tropes
- Arson, Murder, and Jaywalking: In an almost literal invocation of this trope, Hayley says that if Bill broke up with her, she'd go maximum crazy, including murdering Bill, burning down the neighborhood, and raping Roger, before Francine cuts her off.
- Bed Trick: Bill tries to pull this on Francine by tricking her into thinking he's Stan. It fails when Francine runs into the real Stan on the way to the bedroom, and he laughs when she says they made out in the kitchen.
- Bitch in Sheep's Clothing: Bill turns out to be willing to impersonate Stan to try and sleep with Francine in spite of dating Hayley. It makes him getting kneecapped by Francine several seasons ago a case of retroactive Asshole Victim and in this, Stan grabs him by the crotch to toss him out a high window.
- Brick Joke: Hayley vows to burn down a forest if she ever gets dumped again. In a deleted scene, when she finds out that her dad impersonated his own body double she dated, she makes good on that promise.
- Downer Ending: Stan's ruse of posing as Bill is exposed just as it seems like he's stopped Hayley from going berserk. Cue her setting the forest on fire.
- Entitled Bastard: Hayley is willing to dump any guy she dates no problem and doesn't care at all about how they get treated, but if you happen to dump her expect her to start destroying public property like King Kong on steroids. She expects everyone to accept her behavior with no effort to change on her part, even with the threat of jailtime hanging over her head.
- Girl on Girl Is Hot: Stan makes a pass at a waitress in order to make Hayley jealous, only for her to suggest he make out with the waitress and then she make out with her while he watches.Stan: You used to watch Sesame Street...
- Hope Spot: Stan as Bill manages to let Hayley down gently, making it seem like she'll avoid a murderous rampage. Then she decides to call her dad.
- Hypocritical Humor: Francine says that they just need to give Hayley love and support, at which point she wakes up from the tranquilizers and tries to strangle her mom. Francine then yells for Stan to shoot her in the face.
- Imagine Spot: When Steve is told that the male chicks get culled, he imagines them getting top hats and having musical numbers. In reality, they get processed into dog food and chicken nuggets.
- Mama Bear: Francine was ready to beat the shit out of Stan when she thought he was sleeping with Hayley.
- Never My Fault: Hayley absolutely refuses to do anything about her psychotic anger issues even after Stan reveals she's likely to be thrown in jail if she goes on another rampage.
- Oh, Crap!:
- Francine calls Stan to tell him that Hayley and Jeff broke up, which he dismisses because Hayley dumps him every other week. When Francine clarifies that Jeff dumped her, he drops his coffee mug.
- Stan plans to impersonate Bill and act like a jerk so that Hayley will break up with him. He initially thinks this is just a romantic getaway...until Hayley makes it clear she wants to have sex.
- One Dialogue, Two Conversations: Francine finds Hayley making out with Bill at the same time as Stan steals Francine's cookie dough. Cue this scene:Francine: You Bastard! How could you!
Stan: Alright, you caught me! But can you blame me? It's just so sweet and tempting!
Francine: You're sick! You should be in jail!
Stan: Oh come on, you're overreacting. Roger does it too.
Roger: Yeah, I've stuck my fingers in there.
[Francine vomits into popcorn bowl] - Only Sane Man: Francine's the only person who is rightly revolted at the idea of Hayley having sex with a man who looks identical to her father, to the point of vomiting multiple times at the thought of it.
- Shout-Out: During Hayley's rampage at the mall, she starts climbing a model of the Empire State Building and two security guards fly model biplanes to stop her. One of the guards lampshades how ridiculous it is that they're doing this instead of actually stopping Hayley.
- Springtime for Hitler: Stan tries to act like a total jerk so that Hayley will break up with Bill. However, everything he does only makes her hornier.
- Squick: In-Universe. Francine is...not enthusiastic that Hayley is dating a man who looks exactly like her father.
- Tranquillizer Dart: Stan shoots Hayley with one, but she takes the dart out and continues her rampage. It ends up taking 19 more tranq darts to knock her out.
- Vomit Indiscretion Shot: Francine does this twice during their trip to the beach, both times attracting a lot of sea gulls.Francine: (swings her purse at the second flock of sea gulls) Get away! Shoo! This one's for the hermit crabs!
- Woman Scorned: Hayley goes on a murderous rampage every time she is on the receiving end of a breakup. The first time was as early as grade school, when a boy was just making eyes with Hayley in class and then started to eye a new girl. Hayley threw a kid and their desk out of a window, and even killed the class hamster.Stan: The autopsy showed that the hamster was pregnant.
- You Have GOT to Be Kidding Me!: Hayley when she realizes she had been with her dad and not Bill this whole weekend.
