Quotes / Yet Another Christmas Carol

Mr Carlson: Why don't I get to wake up?!? SCROOGE got to wake up [between ghosts]!
Marley: Scrooge didn't eat one of Johnny Fever's brownies.

— WKRP in Cincinnati

Kill the turkeys, ducks and chickens
Mix the punch, drag out the Dickens
Even though the prospect sickens
Brother here we go again!

— Tom Lehrer, "A Christmas Carol", An Evening Wasted with Tom Lehrer

"[Groan] We're not doing the Christmas Carol, are we? I mean come on! Everyone and their dogs has done this already! I don't wanna do this! This is the lazy stuff to do when you're out of ideas for reviews!"

— EZ Rider

"Any long-running successful show that doesn't in some way have a go at Charles Dickens's A Christmas Carol is doing something wrong."

— Jem Roberts, The Clue Bible

Doctor: It's impossible! I've got to get a very bad man to suddenly decide to just turn nice in time for Christmas day.
Amy: [on radio] Doctor, I can't hear you. What is that? Is it singing?
Doctor: It's a Christmas carol.
Amy: A what?
Doctor: A Christmas carol.
Amy: What?
Doctor: [realizing] It's A Christmas Carol!

— Doctor Who 2010 Christmas Special

I'm the Ghost of Christmas Past

And all the folks that you've harassed,

They're glad that I am here at last

'Cause, Mister CEO,

It's movie time, relax and see

As we climb up your family tree

And we'll see how you used to be

Many years ago

—Wakko Warner, Animaniacs, "A Christmas Plotz''

Linkara: We are not doing a Christmas Carol parody. I refuse!
Marley's Ghost: But your feelings about Christmas...
Linkara: I love Christmas! You won't make me like it any more!
Marley's Ghost: Okay, but what about making you appreciate good comics?
Linkara: I've got a whole shelf full of good comics. I read them when I want to. This show is about reviewing the crap for entertainment value.
Marley's Ghost: Um, okay, but the three spirits are still booked. Uh...
Linkara: Look, unless this involves the Muppets or Patrick Stewart, I don't want any part of it. Get out.

— Atop the Fourth Wall, "Extreme Super Christmas Special #1" review

Linkara: [...]But, let's focus on our first story, an adaptation of A Christmas Carol... or "Cow-rell". And the thing that sets this part is...
Marley's Ghost!Viga: Linkara! (Linkara droops and glares to the side as the ghost appears) Linkara, because you have broken your schedule so much this year, you're going to be haunted by three ghosts— (Linkara sets the comic aside, pulls out Magic Gun and shoots her) Ahh! Ow! What the Hell?!
Linkara: We have done, like, four takes on A Christmas Carol by this point! Just go away or I'm breaking out the Pokeballs and the ghost traps!
Marley's Ghost!Viga: Fine. I'll go bother Quinton Reviews, at least he won't shoot me in the titty!

— Atop the Fourth Wall, "Christmas Quickies #1"

Ghost of Yesterday: I'm here to remind you...
Humbug: Bah! I know this story. I've been unkind, I get it
Ghost of Yesterday: Nah, I don't care about that. I'm here to remind you...
...about your laundry! You left socks in the dryer

—Club Penguin, "A Humbug Holiday"

Homer: I just saw the greatest cartoon of all-time. It was about a miser who was visited by three ghosts at Christmas. And get this! He learns a lesson!

Lisa: Dad, what you saw was A Christmas Carol. It was written by Charles Dickens 160 years ago.

Bart: Yeah, TV writers have been milkin' that goat for years.

—The Simpsons, "'Tis the Fifteenth Season"

Baz: On the street he's known just as "The Geezer", but his actual name is Mister Evan Screws.
Lilith: Okay...
Baz: Evan "The Geezer" Screws.
Lilith: Yeah, I think I see where this is going...

— Oxventure Presents: Blades in the Dark, "A Crimsnight Carol"

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