"Make your peace" - Wynonna's catchphrase whenever she kills a major villain
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Season 1
Episode 1 — "Purgatory"
Dialogues:
Wynonna : “Are you FBI? I didn’t quite recognize the badge.”
Dolls : “And you’ve seen a lot of them given your criminal record.”
Wynonna : “Juvenile record. And that’s supposed to be sealed when an offender turns 18, and I’m 26… 27.”
Dolls : “Happy birthday. By the way.”
Waverly : “Guess you missed your bus.”
Wynonna : “Yeah, kind of over busses. Hanging in there?”
Waverly : “It’s terrible!”
Malcolm : “Oh Lordy, you are the most pathetic heir we ever had!”
Wynonna : “That’s me. Now cut her down!”
Malcolm : “You Welch on a deal; you don’t get to ride.”
Malcolm : “True, you may have the one gun that could bring me back to hell, but I’m gonna take your baby sister with me, you stupid, crazy bitch!”
Wynonna : “Wanna know how batshit I am? Nobody shoots my family, but me.”
Waverly : “You brought backup?!”
Wynonna : “Oh! Yeah.”
Waverly : “Hey, you came back for me.”
Wynonna : “Duh! I’m nuts remember?”
Dolls : “Are you telling me the demons are trapped here?”
Wynonna : “It’s classified.”
Dolls : “Cute.”
Wynonna:
“Waverly was right. We need that gun. And I’m talking to my truck.”
“I am gonna put you in the ground like it’s my job. ‘Cause you know what? I’m starting to think it is.”
Waverly:
“Why don’t you slip into something more comfy, huh? Like a coma!”
“You know. I scoured every library, every archive in the country, and you know what I never found? A reason why I can’t break the curse.”
“You know, of all the things I’ve ever wanted to call you… you’re such a coward.”
Episode 2 — "Keep the Homes Fire Burning"
Dialogues:
Wynonna : “Fancy but powerless. Pretty sure only Peacemaker can send revheads back to Hades.”
Dolls : “You don’t know that for a fact.”
Wynonna : “Wanna bet? Loser buys dinner?”
Dolls : “No. You lose, you die. OK? Besides, I don’t gamble.”
Dolls : “Black Badge is about flying under the radar; you flew over the radar in a flaming, pink jet. You made a spectacle of yourself, Deputy.”
Wynonna : “Pink?”
Dolls : “Yeah, pink!”
Wynonna : “How dare you! And you owe me dinner.”
Dolls : “Well now they’re gonna have to deal with you. Right after you deal with shit ton of paperwork you generated after last night’s disastrous takedown.”
Wynonna : “OK. Like, one blonde broke a heel and I was trying to smoke the revenant.”
Dolls : “If the public know that demons are out there… widespread panic.”
Wynonna : “OK. Have a little faith. We’ve survived hotdog-stuff crust pizzas, so I think we got this.”
Wynonna : “Alright, Mr. Know-it-all, tell me what my sister sees in that d-bag?”
Dolls : “I couldn’t tell you; I don’t do relationships.”
Wynonna : “How about smiling? You ever do that? Hmm?”
Wynonna : “The revenants that took you; recognize them from your research?”
Waverly : “Hmm, no. Well, I was kind of busy trying to breathe. Hey, but listen, if I joined Black Badge, I could bring my research and my amazing banana muffins.”
Wynonna : “No! Did you see the bruises on my back from last night’s clubbing? Dude, I didn’t even tequila.”
Red : “Tell me where Peacemaker is, and I’ll kill your sister fast.”
Wynonna : “It’s in my panty drawer. Why don’t we go get it?”
Red : “We’re gonna get you.”
Wynonna : “‘We’? Maybe. ‘You’? Doesn’t look that great.”
Nedley : “‘Classified,’ my ass! These are Purgatory Sheriff’s Offices; you can’t just commandeer them!”
Dolls : “Fine, I’ll let you share the kitchen.”
Nedley : “Let me?!”
Waverly : “I’m Waverly. And don’t do that, I have a big burly boyfriend who can bring a calf to its knees in 8 seconds flat.”
Doc : “Oh, my! He sounds positively harrowing.”
Waverly : “I got a good feeling about you. And I’m an excellent judge of character.”
Doc : “Sweetheart… you really aren’t.”
Wynonna : “She did knock, Dolls. You sure you didn’t want to threaten her with death?”
Dolls : “Penalty for treason is death.”
Wynonna : “Your apartment’s been broken into; you can’t go back.”
Waverly : “Oh what?! But my yoga mat is there!”
Waverly : “OK, so what exactly are we looking for?”
Wynonna : “Something strange and hard to explain. Like your relationship with Champ.”
Waverly : “Pfft! You’re hardly qualified to give relationship advice. Remember that guy with the satanic-face tattoo?”
Wynonna : “What? Phil really loved Norwegian death metal.”
Miller : “Your hair smells like lilies. The flower of funerals.”
Wynonna : “Worst pickup line ever.”
Wynonna : “Just get in a closet, under the bed, anywhere the darkness can’t find you.”
Waverly : “Those are the dark places! And hiding didn’t help me last time!”
Wynonna : “Yeah, how does a big-city boy end up here, working for Black Badge?”
Dolls : “I was recruited from the military.”
Wynonna : “For your awesome sense of humor?”
Dolls : “Because I’m very good at killing very bad guys.”
Wynonna : “Everything in my body tells me he’s one of the bad boys. My entire body.”
Waverly : “Don’t you think he’s a little old for you?”
Wynonna : “Careful now, I can still demote you to Black Badge mascot.”
Wynonna : “And when I find your not-so-imaginary friend, oh, honey, I’m gonna make him pay.”
Waverly : “Just be careful, OK?”
Wynonna : “Yeah. Careful’s not really my style. Besides how scared can you be of a guy named Bobo?”
Wynonna:
“I never blow jobs without saying a please first.”
“That jokes kills with the Hell’s Angels. There’s something wrong with you.”
“CRAZY CHICK WITH A GUN!”
“Ugly and dumb. You sure we haven’t dated?”
“Normal dudes carry baby pictures in their wallet.”
“Oh! And revenants can’t physically hold it. Not without vibrating faster than a… You know. I have my toys; you have yours.”
“Creepy giant revenant alert! Moves through shadows, sucks in light, whispers things very high on the disturb-o-meter.”
Waverly:
“I’m… I’m in a relatonship. With a boy. Man.”
“Don’t you try to go up against me on eBay now.”
“If that shit ticket thinks he’s coming in here uninvited again...”
“Oooh! Do I get a badge? A code name? Oh, my God, a flamethrower?”
Dolls:
“Having an axe for anything but wood maintenance is a felony.”
Doc:
“Now, what does one get for the demonic sociopath that has everything? A braver man would suggest mouthwash.”
“Look like it’s my turn to befoul… someone else’s abode.”
Nicole:
“I didn’t know Shorty’s had wet t-shirt competitions.”
Episode 3 — "Leavin’ on Your Mind"
Dialogues:
Wynonna : “I’ve met worse guys than Henry.”
Waverly : “Oh, I’m sorry, “met”?”
Wynonna : “OK, when you’re done judging me, make sure you’re ready to drop your research on Dolls tomorrow.”
Wynonna : “I want them to tremble with fear before me.”
Dolls : “You got powdered sugar on your nose.”
Bethany : “And this will really piss Bobo off.”
Doc : “The cherry on my sundae.”
Wynonna : “What makes this ours?”
Dolls : “The deputy mayor’s body was fileted. Like a fish.”
Wynonna : “Ah, fish death equals to Black Badge, got it.”
Dolls : “Why didn’t you shoot him?”
Wynonna : “He moves like he’s krumping, remember?”
Dolls : “You take your cues from me.”
Nedley : “So we just stand around with our thumbs up our asses?”
Dolls : “And if that’s how you’ve been trained, feel free.”
Dolls : “Call Waverly. Tell her that her sister’s in a situation.”
Nicole : “OK. Isn’t that Champ’s truck?”
Dolls : “Waverly’s boyfriend?”
Nicole : “Unfortunately…”
Wynonna : “That’s why you need Champ’s body? For some sort of, like possession?”
Champ : “What? In my body?! Wynonna, I don’t even put gluten in this!”
Doc : “Wynonna Earp… I am at your disposal.”
Wynonna : “Well, shit.”
Wynonna:
“Oh, he’s gonna miss his bus.”
“What did they want with a book and an old dude’s paw?”
“I’ll keep my eyes open for a zombie wearing an icy-hot patch.”
“Hmm, doubt you’re gonna get much out of Johnny Mc Dead here.”
“This is not the kind of penetration I’m used to.”
“Look, if you’re about to propose a threesome, I’m tired and I haven’t shaved my legs.”
Doc:
“Bravery… is just a fancy word for stupid. Please refrain from accusing me of such foolishness.”
Episode 4 — "The Blade"
Dialogues:
Doc : “I made a barter for eternal longevity. Cured me of chronic tuberculosis and freed me from the ravages of time, unless I catch a bullet, a knife or an oncoming train.”
Wynonna : “With that mouth, I give you 10 minutes.”
Dolls : “Rules of engagement… we do not fire unless we are fired upon.”
Wynonna : “Yeah, but if I take him out?”
Dolls : “Then, you’ll die in a hail of gunfire.”
Wynonna : “Blaze of glory.”
Dolls : “More like a blaze of stupidity.”
Wynonna : “Is that why you killed her?”
Malick : “Me?! I’m always here, ever since they took my legs!”
Wynonna : “OK. Put the sheet back on, stumpy. I just ate breakfast.”
Samantha : “She’s freaking out, saying she needs to confess.”
Wynonna : “Confess for what?”
Samantha : “Sorry, I’m still trying to wrap my head around why anyone would give Wynonna Earp a badge.”
Wynonna : “Me too, sister.”
Dolls : “Wynonna...”
Wynonna : “No, stop. I have heard that tone my whole life.”
Dolls : “Actually, I was gonna say you were only 16. We all make mistakes.”
Wynonna : “It’s the most un-Dolls thing you’ve ever said to me.”
Waverly : “Is Deputy Marshal Dolls laughing?”
Wynonna : “I’ve never been so scared in my life.”
Nedley : “Poor dead sucker’s wife just called, asking for Wynonna.”
Wynonna : “For me?!”
Nedley : “Did I stutter?”
Wynonna : “Dolls!”
Dolls : “Shhh! Just give me a minute, OK?”
Wynonna : “OK, but too many more minutes, and he turns me into a plate of sashimi.”
Dolls : “Now, the ritual wasn’t a total success, four people died.”
Wynonna : “That’s like saying the Titanic almost made land.”
Waverly : “Hey, what just happened with the York boys?”
Wynonna : “Funny story, g-good story. Uh, we found the killer. He gives his victims two hours to, uh, be forgiven for their sins, or he cuts them up!”
Waverly : “Oh, not that funny!”
Wynonna : “He also travels through mirrors, and guess who his next victim is.”
Waverly : “Wynonna, we need to get you on the first bus out of town!”
Wynonna : “No, I’m done running. And there’s a lot of mirrors on busses. God, I hate busses.”
Wynonna : “Sorry, I’m supposed to go find all the people I’ve hurt and beg their stupid forgiveness!”
Waverly : “But everyone hates you, Wynonna!”
Wynonna : “I’m aware.”
Dolls : “That’s the black mirror. Made from Obsidian.”
Wynonna : “Was it on special at Ikea?”
Dolls : “Funny.”
Waverly : “What else do you have in your storehouse, Dolls? The Ark of the Covenant?”
Dolls : “It’s actually called the Ark of the Testimony. And we don’t have it anymore.”
Dolls : “The ritual calls the spirit by name, and then the spirit will become flesh. And you, Earp, will shoot him.”
Wynonna : “So I’m bait?”
Dolls : “More like brunch.”
Waverly : “No, God, I’m over it, OK? You came back! You came back and now you’re here, and you’re the chosen one, and… that’s definitely not what I’m mad about.”
Wynonna : “Then what are you… What do you mean, ‘the chosen’?”
Wynonna : “You told me last time you saw him, it was all good.”
Doc : “I do not recall what lie I told you. I was probably drunk.”
Wynonna : “It was 8 a.m.”
Doc : “I was definitely drunk.”
Wynonna : “I’m serious. I’m really sorry about being the heir.”
Waverly : “Pfff, no. I only said that because Vidal Sassoon would have killed you if I didn’t find something to be mad at you about. I didn’t actually mean it.”
Wynonna : “Yeah, you did.”
Waverly : “Well, it was a stupid thing to say.”
Wynonna : “Isn’t this the part where you say you love me too?”
Waverly : “You know, you’re awfully needy for a lone wolf.”
Wynonna:
“Any idea where this guy is so I can shoot him in the dong?”
“So what? We’re dealing with the David Blaine of revenants?”
“OK, OK, water! That’s reflective, right? OK. So what if his body is in water? What if he’s using the water to project himself? I feel so smart right now!”
“I guess ‘Tiny Muddy Shit-puddle’ was taken.”
“Guilty, sinner, forgiveness. Just another dude telling me what I’ve done wrong. But now… I’m about to do some right.”
Waverly:
“Hey! You should be ashamed of yourselves! The Barber is coming to slice up Wynonna, and you guys are blubbering like a big bunch of bratty babies!”
“Ego sum totaliter stupet balls. That’s Latin for ‘I’m totally amaze-balls.’”
“No! I mean, sure you’ve done dumb stuff, but you’re my sister, OK? I’ll always forgive you.”
“Fine. I spent years compiling research on the revenants. I did a four-year university degree by correspondence on ancient cultures and languages because I thought that maybe, maybe I could break the curse. And you, who’s never tried to be good at anything in life, got to be the special one… While I just got to be Waverly.”
Doc:
“Waverly, you have put together the most thorough resource on the revenants, You are one natural-born investigator, just like your great-great-granddaddy, and I reckon, the true keeper of the Earp flame. Can’t blame you for being miffed.”
“We’re just gonna flap our gums or we’re gonna get to it?”
“Back in my day, I wronged many a persons, and some done me wrong in turn, but the only regret I have is that I never apologized to Wyatt.”
Gus:
“Management reserves the right to refuse service to jackasses. I’m management, and you’re the jackass.”
August Hamilton:
“Tick-tock. Tick-tock. Forgiven? Or not?”
“No, you don’t. Not in your heart.”
“Repent, Wynonna Earp. Two hours to find forgiveness from the souls you’ve hurt.”
“Yes. You’re the guiltiest of all, Doc. But you feel no remorse. Not like this one.”
“Search your heart, Wynonna. Who have you hurt the most?”
Episode 5 — "Digging Up Bones"
Dialogues:
Wynonna : “I’m more than halfway through The Seven.”
Waverly : “Yeah, but there are, like, seventy-seven in the curse, OK? You’re barely five percent of the way in.”
Wynonna : “You and your math both suck.”
Dolls : “The thermostat is broken. Whole building. Furnace won’t quit.”
Wynonna : “Good. I thought I was suffering some kind of pec-induced fever.”
Dolls : “The City Manager’s requested a meeting so I need you to put on your grown face.”
Wynonna : “I have one of those?”
Wynonna : “Don’t wanna keep Judgey Manager Dude waiting.”
Dolls : “Cryderman. Let’s not keep Judge Cryderman waiting.”
Wynonna : “Record scratch. Judge who?”
Dolls : “I think it’s time that I talk to some of your ‘friends’. Where can I find them?”
Bobo : “Big sale on yoga mats down at Lululemon.”
Waverly : “You’re shorter than I remember.”
Bobo : “And you’re taller than I remember.”
Wynonna : “Some chick turn you to a life of crime? Haven’t heard that song before.”
Fish : “It wasn’t a chick.”
Wynonna : “Oh! OK. Yep.”
Doc : “Have you ever tortured anybody before?”
Wynonna : “Does six-year-old Waverly count? ‘Cause...”
Doc : “Now, if we can get our hands on some dynamite, and scale the North wall...”
Wynonna : “I got something beter.”
Doc : “What is better than dynamite?”
Wynonna : “Boobs.”
Wynonna:
“I brought you a shirt, so put your coffee back on. You know what I mean.”
“So get yourself chest already. Dressed. Already.”
“Gum? Might take the taste of judge anus out of your mouth.”
“I’m a 27-year-old woman cursed with shooting demon-adjacent revenants who bleed frothing brown goo, and now I have to worry about search warrants?”
“Hey, look. Evidence Bobo can’t get his porn off the ‘net.”
“I was just thinking I need another man to tell me what to do today, and here you are!”
“Trout, Pickerel, whatever your name is. Can we focus?”
“You want me to break into the place I work? Yeah, OK. I’m surprised it took me this long.”
“Clearly. I should’ve gone for Puerto Vallarta when I had the chance.”
Waverly:
“What is there? A sale on lawn chairs?”
“Wynonna’s going all Wynonna again.”
Bobo Del Rey:
“Hey, you find any clippers in there? I got this hangnail that’s just driving me nuts.”
“While you’re down there, Deputy Whatever-The-Hell Earp, my knobs need some polishing. Actually, there’s a lot around here that can use a woman’s touch.”
“Well now there then, isn’t my dance card full. Privacy, finally. But something tells me you’re not here to give me a lap dance, are you? It’s a shame to waste those beautiful tits of yours.”
Fish:
“Levi? It’s me. Ambrose. Your Ambrose. What’d you do to Bobo? What’d you do this time, bad boy? You could just never help yourself. No matter what I said, you were gonna do wrong.”
“You’re gonna be the one to break this curse, Wynonna. For all of us. And I thank you.”
Episode 6 — "Constant Cravings"
Dialogues:
Dolls : “See, you’re dead. Again. And unlike revenants, you can’t come back to life.”
Wynonna : “Except as a ghost, I’ll haunt your ass sideways.”
Dolls : “Stay focused, Earp. I want you here… now.”
Wynonna : “That’s what all the boys say.”
Dolls : “Come on. Find my weaknesses.”
Wynonna : “Ice cream? The Clippers? Thongs?”
Dolls : “Yeah, you’ve limbered up.”
Wynonna : “Yoga.”
Dolls : “No, it’s something else.”
Wynonna : “What? What makes you say that?”
Dolls : “Yoga fosters serenity and I see zero evidence of that.”
Wynonna : “Ugh! Ever heard of manscaping?”
Waverly : “Hey, that was meant for private eyes.”
Wynonna : “Don’t tell me you’re back chomping at the Champ. Come on. He is just so beneath you.”
Waverly : “Uh, yeah, he is.”
Wynonna : “Gross, dude. There is more to life than crazy hot, toe curling, out-of-body, back-into-body, angels-singing-Hallelujah sex.
Waverly : “Wait, wait. Hold up. Whose truck are you borrowing?!”
Wynonna : “Please. I can get from here to there on my own horsepower, thank you.”
Waverly : “Wait, who is it? Is it Dolls?”
Wynonna : “Please.”
Hetty : “She keeps wondering who does such ‘terrible things.’”
Wynonna : “Probably someone with a big bug up their ass.”
Champ : “Curtis had a nose for buried stuff. He was kind of like you, into the… into the past of where things come from and stuff before today, uh…”
Waverly : “You mean like ‘history’?”
Dolls : “OK, so we need this one alive. HQ says we’re not delivering. They need hard evidence of revenant activity… quid pro quo for the resources they provide.”
Wynonna : “What resources? You won’t even buy me dinner.”
Dolls : “Could you please take this seriously just one goddamned time?”
Wynonna : “OK. A, the last guy who talked to me like that got a nail gun to the nads.”
Waverly : “I need to talk with you.”
Blacksmith : “And you think an $8 bottle of pinot’s going to make me listen?”
Waverly : “Hell, no. No, the wine’s mostly for me.”
Hetty : “I never liked you, you know.”
Wynonna : “I have a gun at your back, you idiot.”
Hetty : “I’ll make you a deal. Take Mama. She is a cold, hard harpy.”
Wynonna : “Thought I had a bad childhood.”
Mama Olive : “There’s something… There’s something wrong with you. You’re spoiled!”
Dolls : “Yeah. I’m an acquired taste.”
Wynonna:
“C’mon, baby. Use… the force...”
“Say my name, bitch! No, I mean… Make your peace. It’s my new jam.”
“Hey. You got one that’ll cure “crotchety curmudgeon-itis”? ‘Cause he’s got a raging case.”
“Is it official? Are you two going steady?”
“Hey! Stop! I’ve got beef with you, Tate. And it’s not just delivering meat puns.”
“A cannibalistic, serial-killing female revenant? Some girls have all the fun.”
“Did you get thinner? Don’t tell me you’re a bulimic cannibal.”
Waverly:
“No! I don’t want my brain shut off. OK? I don’t want to be a barmaid in Buenos Aires. And it turns out a boner and a pickup aren’t the whole enchilada. No. We’re done. Yeah. We’re done, Champ. And I’ve got work to do.”
“Wait. Did I just marry a skull?”
Doc:
“Never seen a cowgirl look more at home in the saddle.”
Episode 7 — "Walkin’ After Midnight"
Dialogues:
Doc : “I had him right where I wanted him.”
Wynonna : “On top of you?”
Blacksmith : “I know you’re here. I can smell you.”
Constance : “Sure that’s not your fear? I’m.. (cough) positively chocking on it.”
Wynonna : “Hey, you want me to ask him to run some test on your bony little friend?”
Waverly : “Uh, no. Curtis left it to me, and if I give it to Black Badge, I might never see it again.”
Wynonna : “They say I have trust issues.”
Constance : “I give you this Mattie, you’ve lasted hours longer than I thought you would.”
Blacksmith : “Maybe you underestimated the good that’s left in this world.”
Constance : “Tell me, who has the skull?”
Blacksmith : “The girl that’s gonna finally end you.”
Constance : “Wonderful! Got an address?”
Doc : “This morning, Wynonna, she requested assistance and...”
Waverly : “You told her to go to hell!”
Doc : “And it was wrong of me. Too much drink, too much pride.”
Waverly : “Hey, wait a second. I wanna record this, so that I can replay it to you when you’re being a dick.”
Waverly : “Yeah, you need to go. Girls only tonight. Engagement party. A chance for me to show my friends that I’m not a freak.”
Doc : “You hunt demonic outlaws who rise from the dead. Gunslingers cannot foster friendship with civilians, it never works.”
Waverly : “See, you being here is definitely not selling normal.”
Dolls : “Look, you can do it, Earp. You don’t need me. OK? You can break the curse, find the last of the Seven. Believe that.”
Wynonna : “OK, Dolls, do I need to send in the cavalry? Say pomegranate if someone got a gun on you.”
Chrissy : “This doesn’t seem healthy, Waves.”
Waverly : “What? To put the past to rest and move on? Aren’t you the ones who got me, like, five Dr. Phil books?”
Wynonna : “Saturday night. I’m the town pariah with ten years of bad deeds and social suicides to make up for, what’s your excuse?”
Nicole : “Nedley.”
Wynonna : “Say no more. Bosses are the worst. Also, I’m scared mine might be dead... Oh, kidding.”
Wynonna : “You know, one time, Stephanie told me that I should think about getting a butt lift.”
Nicole : “What?! Your ass is like… It’s top shelf, man. It’s top shelf.”
Stephanie : “I’ll bet that this is the lamest engagement party in history.”
Doc : “Well, a hostess is only as good as her company.”
Dr. Reggie : “Uh, I’m Dr. Reggie, the unlucky SOB who has to make sure the dead don’t rise again.”
Wynonna : “You suck at your job.”
Dr. Reggie : “Uh, excuse me?”
Wynonna : “Never mind.”
Stephanie : “You are just as mental as your sister!”
''Waverly : “Yes, OK! Stephanie, you’re right, it’s all true! I am a freak! Wynonna’s a freak! Doc’s a freak!”
Doc : “Hey now!”
Waverly : “But I’m a freak who knows that the most lethal place to stab someone bigger than you is through the ear. Yes, I’m the freak who knows that witches can’t cross lines of salt, which is pretty handy right now. And I’m the freak who, six months ago, would have been too polite to mention that that big ole diamond on your finger, not only is it cubic zirconium, but it is ugly as shit!”
Stephanie : “You bitch!”
Waverly : “So for once in your life, please, just be smarter than you look and just shut up!”
Waverly : “No, I’m not supposed to give it to anybody, OK? Look, I’m its keeper. It’s somewhere safe.”
Doc : “What a pity we can’t say the same thing about ourselves.”
Doc : “Dynamite. Now, in my experience, dynamites solves all manners of problems. They can’t kill us if they’re in pieces.
Waverly : “Oh yeah, sure, sure, dynamite. I’ll just go get some from the kitchen.”
Waverly : “I don’t hate you, Doc. You’re the scorpion, I’m the frog.”
Doc : “I’m not sure I follow.”
Waverly : “Just Google it.”
Nicole : “Your sister OK?”
Wynonna : “Yeah, well, she’s being Waverly.”
Nicole : “Yeah, well, Chrissy said she scissored a stripper.”
Wynonna:
“They’re carving our chopsticks by hand or what?”
What do you mean, you killed a stripper?”
Waverly:
“Haven’t you read a romance novel lately? Heroes always win.”
“There. You wanted to know what your tell at poker is? Simple. You’re always, always lying.”
Dolls:
“Wynonna, you don’t become immortal by making deals with angels. You gotta go to the other guys for that.”
Doc:
“How many tiny pillows does one girl need?”
“Well, you best rebutton your blouse ‘cause all the heat’s over here on my girl.”
Nicole:
“You know, I think that Waverly has spent her whole life tailoring who she is to the people she’s with. She’s only now just starting to figure out what she really wants.”
“You of all people should know better than to try to make me question my sanity.”
Episode 8 — "Two-Faced Jack"
Dialogues:
Dolls : “OK. So what was the last thing you saw?”
Nicole : “Waverly Earp, smiling at me from her front porch. And, uh, a man stepping out on the highway. Flagging us down.”
Doc : “There are two rules to this, Mr. Dolls.”
Dolls : “Let me guess. First rule of fight club, never talk about fight club, right?”
Doc : “Nobody talks about it, how’re the fellas gonna know where it is? No, the first rule is, you never, ever bring the law.”
Wynonna : “Yo. What up, Doctor Murder?”
Reggie : “How are you feeling?”
Wynonna : “Floaty. These drugs are hella dope. And coming from me, that’s saying something.”
Reggie : “The doctor just wants to understand you. Don’t you want to be understood?”
Wynonna : “I want to be on a beach in Hawaii with two very impressionable cabana boys.”
Reggie : “Was the shock therapy effective?”
Wynonna : “Yeah. Made me good at poker and now I don’t have to shave my left leg.”
Reggie : “You use humor as a form of self-defence.”
Wynonna : “I prefer my Buntline special.”
Jack : “Your nose is bleeding.”
Wynonna : “Got a tampon? Or, you know, an inkling to get me to a real hospital?”
Doc : “I think this will be a good juncture to remind you that I am the fastest gunslinger that ever walked the earth.”
Dolls : “Hm. Debatable. What about Billy the Kid?”
Doc : “Ooh, I should shoot you right now, just for being such an obstreperous jackass.”
Wynonna:
“Do you only use the cane as a weapon, or are you hiding a limp under all that bullshit?”
“Park your daddy issues,’cause it’s time to haul ass outta here.”
“What is your damage? Mommy didn’t love you enough? Or is this because every woman you ever met rejected you?”
“Who’s this, you do impressions now? Who is that, Judi Dench?”
Doc:
“If your bosses have no compunction about turning a person into a pin cushion, how are they better than the demons?”
Jack:
“I’ve never really been a doctor. But I did study surgery. And by study, I mean, I love to cut open bodies. I like to see what makes people… people. See, even when I was human, I wasn’t. Not way down deep.”
“Your dime-store psychology is adorable, Wynonna. I love women. Can’t you tell? Feast for the eyes. And every man has a favorite body part upon which to gaze. I love to look at your organs. And I’m gonna keep you alive just long enough that you can look at them too.”
“ Don’t forget, it wasn’t the posse that killed dear old Ward. It was a scared and confused little girl.”
“I’m sorry, Wynonna, that I break your heart. Now, I’m going to cut it out.”
“Once I’m gone, you’ll have to deal with the puppet master. And Bobo Del Rey makes the rest of us look like choir boys.”
Episode 9 — "Bury Me With My Guns On"
Dialogues:
Doc : “From my experience and I’ve got some, you release the rage, you might find there’s nothing left.”
Wynonna : “Worst fortune-cookie advice ever.”
Wynonna : “You’re not the only one who gets to be married to his job.”
Dolls : “Married? Slow down. At best, it’s just my girlfriend.”
Wynonna : “For the first time in ages I woke up and knew exactly what I need to do.”
Dolls : “Wear tighter pants?”
Pete : “I heard about you and Champ, by the way. He never treated you right, Waverly. I was thinking, you know, any man in Purgatory would be lucky to have you. And I was also thinking...”
Waverly : “That you should find a gal like me, only taller, right? So she can actually get up in that custom-lifted tricked-out pickup of yours?”
Doc : “Now, I am not sure this is the best idea.”
Wynonna : “You’re the one who told me I should blow off steam.”
Doc : “My vast wisdom is a burden.”
Bobo : “Constance, you put holes in a few of my boys here.”
Constance : “Tell me about it. They really messed up my shoes.”
Nicole : “You know, I think you’ve just been dating too many shitheads.”
Waverly : “We’re not dating.”
Nicole : “I know. God, Waverly, I would never ask you to be someone you’re not.”
Waverly : “Good. Just don’t ask me to be anyone.”
Nicole : “Fine.”
Waverly : “Fine... Well, maybe just friends.”
Nicole : “Yeah, sure, Waverly. Whatever you want.”
Doc: "Now did you or did you not vow to deliver me the witch?"
Bobo: "That was before your betrayed me."
''Doc: "Now, now. You have made similar assurances to individuals here who have done much worse. You've made promises of glory. Promises of escape. Now, if you were to renege on one gentleman's agreement, well, who is to believe that you would guarantee fulfillment of another?"
Bobo: "It's not that simple."
Doc: "Oh, but it was, in the time from which we all hail from. When a man's word was all that he had."
Wynonna : “Dolls and Nedley are in the hills with a sniper rifle.”
Doc : “You poker face is pitiful. Now put that gun back in your pants.”
Bobo : “Well, someone’s gun already been down there.”
Gus : “I know you don’t believe me, but you were not born to be a goddamn small town waitress.”
Waverly : “Yeah, I believe you, but I have, like, three shirts that say Shorty’s.”
Doc : “You can claw your veins out, it won’t come off. Mattie told me.”
Constance : “Stupid white witch healer whore.”
Wynonna : “Say something Dolls would say.”
Dolls : “You’re a good deputy, Earp.”
Wynonna : “No, that’s not it.”
Wynonna:
“Oh my God! You stupid government lackey, you left me in there with a bureaucratic sadist and I was alone and scared.”
“Says the unarmed revenant. In a coat Lady Gaga deemed ‘maybe too much’.”
“Constance, you gotta watch the tears. This mascara is clearly not waterproof, and it’s not like you can touch it up yourself.”
Waverly:
“Ooh! Someone woke up on the wrong side of the bed.”
“Gus is selling Shorty’s. She acts like she won’t, but she is. And everything is changing around me, but it’s all too fast, you know, and it’s like nobody ever asks me if I’m okay with it. Like, could everybody just stand still for one frickin’ minute?!”
''“When I think about what I wanna do most in this world… it’s you.”
Doc:
“You just got the itch. It is a thing rarely articulated, but there is a power in taking the life of someone else, and it is unequalled by anything else in this world. It is a dangerous drug.”
“You cock that Buntline, and I will blow it out of your lily white hand faster than a fly can blink.”
“My dear, you do like to make me sweat.”
“Dry your tears, witch. With this amount of salt keeping you, you’ll be pickled in no time.”
Nedley:
“Look, whatever’s going on in this county nearly got our only deputies killed, and I don’t know about you, but if I lose mine, I gotta go deputize some fool like Champ Hardy.”
Gus:
“Live your life. Remember : some of the best things in life are the surprises it throws us. About what we want. Who we want. You’ve always been an honest kid. Don’t stop now.”
Constance:
“Honey, you don’t bring table salt to a witch fight.”
“Look at all this history repeating itself. How many Earps can you fail in one lifetime?”
Episode 10 — "She Wouldn’t Be Gone"''
Dialogues:
Wynonna : “Why are you guys in Nedley’s office?”
Nicole : “ ‘Cause when...”
Waverly : “Yes.”
Wynonna : “Really? We’re both grownups.”
Waverly : “One of you is a little bit more grown up, don’t you think?”
Wynonna : “Little bit.”
Wynonna : “Dolls is on the move.”
Doc : “Stalking multiple men, are we?”
Waverly : “Where’d you get that?”
Doc : “A vexing present from Wynonna.”
Waverly : “You two knocked boots, now she’s giving you gifts?”
Doc : “Please! A gentleman always removes his boots.”
Waverly : “Ew.”
Doc : “Your childish attitude on the matter is noted.”
Wynonna : “Oh, shit. I’m dead, aren’t I?”
Margo : “You have been reborn, and soon you will meet Yiska.”
Wynonna : “Cool.”
Yiska : “We are peace-loving people.”
Dolls : “Yet holding me hostage can be interpreted as an act of terrorism!”
Waverly : “How about an explanation, huh?”
Doc : “If there is any kindness in you, you will arrest me, and quick.”
Nicole : “Sorry there, Stone Cold. Not getting off so easy.”
Waverly : “This was your plan the whole time.”
Doc : “No, this was your plan. You told me to learn to drive.”
Waverly : “I didn’t mean leave Purgatory without a word!”
Doc : “I do hate goodbyes.”
Wynonna : “How did you find this place again? I had to get freaky with a warm light.”
Dolls : “Please. I’m a walking GPS. I pinged that shit.”
Eve : “You came back.”
Wynonna : “You watched me take a bath. That shit bonds for life.”
Eve : “I knew our connection was real.”
Margo : “He will rise again to make us clear once more!”
Eve : “God, you’re such a moron. He cast us out, Margo. He lied to us.”
Wynonna : “Hey. Can you find him?”
Eve : “Cowards always have an escape route. And sometimes… a snowmobile.”
Wynonna:
“Lower your guns or I paint these walls revenant brown faster than a bad case of food poisoning.”
“Holy elaborate torture shit.”
“OK. I think Whiskey Jim might’ve been pulling my boob.”
“You guys were not easy to find without Google Maps.”
“Um… the good ones are usually scared. But they push past the fear, you know? And they do what’s right, even when it hurts. Even when every instinct is telling them to do nothing, to survive. And the good ones are hotter.”
“The mani-pedis here are incredible.”
“Voicemail… which Dolls never listen to because he says it’s antiquated.”
Waverly:
“They’re talking about Dolls, guys! They’re speculating that your penis is small!”
Dolls:
“Don’t do that. Do not do that. I saw your eyes back there. They were cold and callous. Don’t get all hard and forget that you’re human. That you are you.”
“Oh, damn. I really hope you’re not as hungry as you look.”
“Earp, I think we just lured the Skinwalker back to a whole bunch of free-range dinners.”
Doc:
“Wynonna Earp, the only woman so bold as to woo a man with another woman’s car.”
Bobo Del Rey:
“Hi. It seems I’m not the only one with eyes and ears on Purgatory. Well, here’s a juicy tidbit even Deputy Marshal Dolls may not have heard : Doc Holliday has been boarding his 130 year old mustang in Wynonna Earp’s ample paddock. Makes me thing of bringing my own horse in for a little love. Giddy up!”
Yiska a.k.a Lou:
“Have you come to us seeking liberation from the mind control of their radio waves and phone towers?”
“That narcissist finally figure out that his stupid fur coat won’t protect him?”
“The world we worked so hard to create has been sullied by outsiders. We must disband. Become pure. Then we can begin to rebuild.”
“Always so high and mighty. Your impurity was poison to us all… Eve.”
“I’m a god! I have outlived three Heirs. Bitch here makes it four.”
Episode 11 — "Landslide"
Dialogues:
Dolls : “Hey, don’t worry. Black Badge doesn’t know anything, OK? Plus I got a buddy down in the forensics lab who did a no-questions-asked… favour. But you don’t believe me.”
Wynonna : “Only the part about you having a buddy.”
Waverly : “Uh, gotta go. Yeah, I said I’ll see Nicole before the Poker Spectacular.”
Wynonna : “Are you and Nicole best friends now? And what the hell is a ‘Poker Spectacular’?”
Bobo : “Stuck in Purgatory for another goddamn Poker Spectacular.”
Cryderman : “There was a whore I knew, used to poke her spectacular.”
Bobo : “I find my lead out there, I don’t have to listen to your goddamn awful jokes in here again.”
Wynonna : “Wake up, Hugh Hefner.”
Dolls : “I taste strawberries.”
Wynonna : “You smell of man-whore.”
Juan Carlo : “You kids today and your “iPodes” and your “Netpix”… You couldn’t find a sparkplug if your life depended on it. I do like your hat, though.”
Doc : “Much obliged.”
Willa : “I don’t even know what I like. I was living in a cult in the woods. We drank tea made from dandelions.”
Guy : “Darlin’, that’s weird.”
Wynonna : “I hate when I’m right.”
Waverly : “What? You love it when you’re right.”
Wynonna : “I meant sober. I hate when I’m sober.”
Willa : “You OK?”
Wynonna : “Yeah. Just like cow-tipping on Wilson’s half acre!”
Willa : “I’ll take your word for it.”
Willa : “That was amazing!”
Wynonna : “Yeah! Ha, ha, ha! And Dolls is gonna kill us!”
Willa : “Shit, that felt good!”
Dolls : “Yeah. So does base jumping without a chute.”
Willa : “I thought you said they can’t come on our land.”
Wynonna : “Revenants can’t. Human assholes can.”
Dolls : “Waverly, hide!”
Waverly : “God, I wish people would stop saying that to me!”
Waverly : “Do you think it’ll scar?”
Wynonna : “Dudes dig scars.”
Waverly : “Do chicks?”
Wynonna:
“Oh, it’s just… just the cult. Free living au naturel. It’s groovy.”
“This curse, our burden; if you don’t laugh… you’ll go crazy. And I’ve been crazy.”
“Honey, I’m flattered, but for a whole wack of reasons, you’re not my type.”
“Stupid sexy hair porn!”
“Should have kept your pants on.”
“Nothing a facelift won’t fix.”
Waverly:
“You wanna get all up in my kitchen? Eat shit, shit-eaters!”
“Uh, guys, I think I got a little bit shot.”
Dolls
“You’re good at what you do. Doesn’t matter how many Willas come back. Doesn’t. We’re still gonna need you. Earp.”
“Let’s go, bitches! Come on!”
Doc
“Oh, men, I need to start drinking less. Or much, much more.”
“Whatever the hell you are, Juan-Carlo, a decent mechanic you are not.”
Episode 12 — "House of Memories"
Dialogues:
Dolls : “There may be a lot of people that want me dead, but it ain’t Doc Holliday. And if it was him, he’d just deliver the dynamite himself.”
Wynonna : “Yeah, he is classy like that.”
Dolls : “We make a pretty good team.”
Wynonna : “We should get t-shirts.”
Dolls : “Don’t push it.”
Willa : “Wynonna’d probably be pretty pissed if she found out you didn’t tell her something like this, wouldn’t she?”
Waverly : “There it is. You remember that beam? When I was four, you caught me going through Daddy’s drawer and you promised not to tell, if… I walked across that beam.”
Willa : “I didn’t… Daddy was...”
Waverly : “What? Attentive? Huh? Aware of your birthday? Willa, I could’ve broken my neck.”
Dolls : “Man… You know, when I first met you… Girl, you were a mess.”
Wynonna : “Hey!”
Dolls : “What?”
Wynonna : “ ‘Hot’. I prefer ‘hot’ mess.”
Cryderman : “I wanna die.”
Wynonna : “Oh, I want that for you too, Judge.”
Dolls : “But you gotta give answers first, crybaby.”
Cryderman : “Bobo. It’s always been Bobo. He cuts and I bleed. Money, dignity, my very soul. He’s reduced me to nothing.”
Wynonna : “Aww. The way you reduced so many young delinquents, huh? Wow! Full circle. Pure poetry.”
Cryderman : “Bobo’s throwing a party tonight at the old Wainwright.”
Wynonna : “I figured him for more retro roller rink, less heritage hotel.”
Wynonna : “Alright. You’re gonna get us into that party.”
Dolls : “Do you not check your mail?Hmm? The whole town was invited. Black tie, no guns.”
Wynonna : “The whole town?”
Dolls : “Yeah, everybody.”
Wynonna : “All of the town?”
Dolls : “Even you. Yeah.”
Dolls : “We’ll protect you, don’t worry.”
Cryderman : “You can barely protect yourselves. Who are we kidding?”
Dolls : “This is what you’ll be wearing to the Winter Solstice.”
Wynonna : “OK, cool. What does it do?”
Dolls : “It covers your body.”
Wynonna : “Yeah, but is it bulletproof? Does it have cameras in it? Sensors?”
Dolls : “Yes, to none of those things.”
Wynonna :”I can bring my own damn dress.”
Dolls : “You wearing your midriff-baring baby tee and your “good jeans” isn’t really black tie. We gotta blend in with people of Purgatory, not scare them.”
Wynonna : “Ha! Bobo will do that.”
Waverly : “I’ve bumped up against worse problems.”
Wynonna : “Yeah, but why bring Champ into this?”
Nicole : “You are a vision.”
Waverly : “Oh please, I didn’t even have time to accessorize.”
Nicole : “See, I knew I wore this bracelet for a reason.”
Waverly : “OK, so I’ve counted thirteen vents in this room alone.”
Willa : “And how would Bobo use those to further his nefarious plan? AC us to death?”
Wynonna : “Security?”
Waverly : “No.”
Wynonna : “Metal detectors?”
Waverly : “Nada.”
Wynonna : “Well, why did I just climb through the window?”
Dolls : “Sip. Be cool.”
Wynonna : “Says the guy who eats salad for breakfast.”
Nicole : “Champ’s right, Waves. You’re dating a cop now. We go where the danger is.”
Waverly : “God, that’s sexy.”
Willa:
“Look, Bourbon Bob, or whatever the hell your name is, you think this is a game… it’s one I came back to finish. But this time, I make the rules. And no one will stop me. Not Bobo, not Black Badge, and certainly not a useless son of a goddamned bitch like you.”
“There’s so much… to do.”
Wynonna:
“Jesus, look at this stuff. It’s like Black Friday sale at dudeswhokill.com.”
“Well, for starters, my coat may be cute but it’s way too thin for this weather, and then I totally forgot to exfoliate this morning and now I have to take the biggest whiz.”
“Storytime’s over, bitch.”
“Welcome aboard the Earp Express. Enjoy your trip to Hell.”
“What part of “stay on the Homestead” didn’t you understand?”
Constance Clootie never does anything unless it benefits Constance Clootie.”
“So whose stick I gotta yank to get a hanger and a coat check?”
Waverly:
“I’m sorry. This is so many different kinds of horrible. I was learning how to ride a bike and playing woodland princess after school, and you… Maybe this wasn’t a good idea.”
“Why in the world would you need my dress size?”
“Oh, God. I keep forgetting. Am I, like, the most insensitive sister ever?”
“Champ! You’re drunk. And apparently a raging homophobe.”
Doc:
Son, I’m frickin’ Doc Holliday. Nothing impresses me anymore.”
Nicole:
“OK, lower your voice. Waverly doesn’t belong to anyone.”
Bobo Del Rey:
“Good evening. Is everyone having a good time? Well, I hope so, because I’m only gonna say this once. Maybe twice. I haven’t decided yet. I have some good news and I have some bad news. The good news… is there’s an antidote. To what, you ask? Well, you see… That’s the bad news. All this delicious bubbly that you’ve been drinking… like drunken pigs, has been poisoned. You will all slowly go batshit crazy. Exhibit A, Champ Hardy. How you doin’, Champ? Not good! One lucky contestant will receive the antidote. All they have to do is bring me one person, dead or alive, and that one person is… Ms. Wynonna Earp. Have fun.”
Episode 13 — " I Walk the Line''
Dialogues:
Bobo : “If Wynonna took Peacemaker, she knows we’re together.”
Willa : “There’s no way. I’ve given her no reason to suspect me.”
Bobo : “She’s smart.”
Willa : “She’s a sucker. And Waverly is useless.”
Bobo : “She’s intuitive.”
Willa : “What is this? Talk-about-how-great-my-goddamn-sisters-are day?”
Dolls : “I doubt this building’s up to code. You could burn the building down.”
Doc : “This coming from the lawman packing enough heat to firebomb Texas. You got any dynamite in there?”
Dolls : “No.”
Doc : “Snookered yet again.”
Doc : “Where are the revenants?”
Dolls : “Oh, I doubt they’re having tea at the trailer park.”
Doc : “You never know.”
Nicole : “Whatever you’ve got planned, I’m game.”
Dolls : “Hey, this is classified.”
Doc : “Purgatory’s overrun by demon revenants, a. k. a Wyatt’s Earp’s resurrected outlaws. Bobo Del Rey is their leader. I am Doc Holliday. Yes, that Doc Holliday. And Dolls here, he is just a dick.”
Nicole : “Finally! Thank you. It… Actually, it makes perfect sense. Except for the last part.”
Dolls : “You still in?”
Nicole : “Like Flynn.”
Wynonna : “I remember, in high school...”
Pete : “You know what I remember? How you broke my heart and slept with my brother, made fun of my mama’s diabetes!”
Wynonna : “Yeah, I was messed up.”
Willa : “Why aren’t you more freaked out?”
Wynonna : “Well, ‘cause I can’t dial the phone and throw a fit.”
Willa : “As long as I get to kick someone’s ass.”
Wynonna : “That can be arranged.”
Bobo : “Jesus Christ!”
Juan-Carlo : “Right initials, wrong fella.”
Bobo : “You know why Willa and I fell in love?”
Juan-Carlo : “Slim pickings at the hostage hut?”
''Chrissy : “OW! Who the hell are you?!”
Willa : “Another Earp.”
Willa : “Give me Peacemaker or I punch a bunch of holes in Waverly’s girlfriend.”
Wynonna : “ ‘Girlfriend’?”
Waverly : “Um, kind of.”
Nicole : “Kind of?”
Bobo : “I used to watch you girls, and I’d wonder how a man like Ward Earp ended up with so much goodness. And then there was the baby. And I used to think about saving her too.”
Waverly : “Only I wasn’t the heir.”
Bobo : “Ohhh, Waverly. You’re not even an Earp.”
Doc : “I mean we could run. We could get a little house in the country, raise chickens, grow barley.”
Wynonna : “Is that why you came back? To be a farmer?”
Doc : “No, I returned because a peculiar fellow insisted you needed my help.”
Wynonna : “Was he a farmer?”
Doc : “He was a mechanic.”
Wynonna : “Willa’s got Peacemaker. Bobo’s got telekinetic powers. What do we got?”
Doc : “Things that go boom.”
Wynonna : “Wake up and remember who the hell you are! You’re Willa Earp!”
Willa : “And the rightful heir!”
Wynonna : “Then you should know that what you’re doing is hella dumb!”
Willa : “Bobo doesn’t know, but he’s not the only one that came to visit me in that treehouse making promises in the dark.”
Wynonna : “What kind of promises?”
Willa : “That death can be a mercy.”
Wynonna : “Did you love her, Robert?”
Bobo : “Did you?”
Wynonna : “But first, I’m gonna kill every single revenant from the Rockies to the big city. And then I’m gonna stop that thing from getting in here.”
Doc : “And the deputy marshal? Are we gonna get him?”
Wynonna : “He’s in a maximum security black ops prison, and he shot my sister. Damn straight we’re gonna go get him.”
Waverly : “You ready?”
Wynonna : “Sweetheart, I’m ready for anything.”
Willa
“Oh, fighting off the local boys in your underwear? Boy, you did grow up.”
“Look, I know you’re worried about Waverly, but Bobo has something up his sleeve. I mean, he’s psychic electric “Koolaided” all of those meatsticks!”
“Sometimes, being an Earp means making tough decisions to survive. For the greater good.”
“What I am is the goddamn Earp heir, and I’m running out of goddamn time!”
“What do I care about some ginger butch cop?”
“Now you know what it feels like when people take your things.”
“Respect your elders, bitch!”
“Stop this?! This is better than I planned. Bobo and I get out, and Purgatory burns! They hate us, Wynonna. They’re evil. They deserve that thing!”
“See, Wynonna? You can never really go home again.”
Wynonna:
“Aww, he saved Waverly’s number under “Cuties”.”
“Hello. Woman-you-currently-want-to-kill. Please be Waverly.”
“Change of plans. Super-fun-times Earp family reunion.”
“Peacemaker is just a gun! Waverly is Waverly. And Chrissy sounded like she’s sniffed enough glue to bankrupt a model airplane factory. I’m not waiting to get her. And neither are you. She’s our sister.”
“Chrissy, don’t make me break that skinny little neck of yours!”
“If my sister joined the dark side, and you’ve been a revenant this whole time, I’m just gonna call in sick tomorrow.”
“Come on. WWWD. What Would Wyatt Do?”
“I never was a great judge of character. Always ended up dating the drummer.”
Waverly:
“I don’t think the Willa that came back is our Willa.”
“Please. I love her.”
“She shot my girlfriend!”
Doc:
“You are the laziest junkie I ever met.”
Nicole:
''“Bunch of crazy hicks off their rockers?”
“You gotta go with Wynonna and stop your sister. Sorry, but she’s kind of a dickhead.”
Nedley:
“You have been a plague on this town, destroyed a lot of lives and you were a royal pain in my ass. She’s also the only shot we got at getting out of this mess. I know you’re sick. I know that you’re scared. So am I. But that man out there. Bobo Del Rey and his ilk. They’re not like us. They’ve never been like us. If we do this… I mean, if we turn into the angry mob of ignorant villagers that he thinks we are, if we kill one of our own… and make no mistake, Wynonna is what we made her… if we do that, then well, yeah, we’ll be just like them. Hell, we’ll be worse because we had a choice.”
Bobo:
“It wasn’t always like this. After Clootie stole her away from me, I did go a little crazy. But days before she was due to turn 27, Constance erases her memory… and says she will only give me back Willa if I help her put back together her boys. The bones. I rallied an army together to dig in the dirt. And I dug, and I dug, and I dug. Do you know why? Swans mate for life.”
“Do it. Do it. I’m already in hell.”
“Wynonna! Don’t let them do this! Please! Shoot me! Shoot!”
“This one’s gonna hurt.”
Season Two
Wynonna:
"that thing people do when their not institutionalized at 14."
"God really is dead."
"With great belly comes great responsibility."
"you two make the Notebook look bleak."
"Lions tigers and bears, oh shit"
Waverly:
"You polished the shaft hard enough."
"Oh my god, you're gonna ask him to marry you"
Nicole Haught:
"Why don't any of the creepy bad guys ever just wear jeans."
"Please tell me my clothes are on this time."
Doc Holiday:
"I feel naked without it"
"I'm older than the state of Colorado, everybody's too young for me."
Dolls:
Jeremy:
"Hey, he's [Doc] not. I'd feel it in my groin."
