"Here you see the lepers of the great television industry. Men without faces. They even slide our paychecks under the door so they can pretend we're not here."
— Mel giving a tour of the writers' room in A Face in the Crowd
"Playing the bassoon or fluffing a walrus people respect, 'cause there's a specialist skill that goes into those. But writing? 'Pah! I learnt that in school! Fucking aced it! They made me start doing it all in joined-up letters just to give everyone else a chance! And that, Mr. Croshaw, is why I felt my background made me qualified to rewrite all the story copy you did for us to be more like a recent popular film.'"
—Ben Croshaw on Sacred 3
"In the Darwinian ecosystem of Hollywood, screenwriters occupy a position just below the bottom; if they're allowed on film sets at all, it's generally so they can serve coffee to production assistants. In the minds of executives, screenwriters are to be neither seen nor heard."
— Nathan Rabin on
An Alan Smithee Film: Burn Hollywood Burn (the Creator Killer of a writer who did his best to break this anonymity)
An Alan Smithee Film: Burn Hollywood Burn (the Creator Killer of a writer who did his best to break this anonymity)I was at a convention, sitting at a guest table and signing autographs and such, and a mother came by with her son. And the son was explaining the world of comics to his mom, who was nodding and beaming in approval at her child's mastery of his chosen hobby.
"That's Peter David. He's an artist."
Now I've stopped correcting people when they say this because, broadly speaking, writing is an art form. I especially didn't want to correct the kid in front of his mom. So I smiled and hoped that they would go away.
"You draw the pictures?" the mother asked, impressed.
Now I was stuck. "Actually, I'm a writer," I said.
Her face fell, her enthusiasm considerably diminished. "Oh. Well, then— what do you do in the comics?" She could not conceive that there was any function to a comic beyond the pictures on the page.
The son jumped in to explain matters. "The artist does the story, and then the writer fills in the words."
My smile pasted on my face, I bobbed my head slightly, pulled out my revolver and shot them both.
You would have, too.
"That's Peter David. He's an artist."
Now I've stopped correcting people when they say this because, broadly speaking, writing is an art form. I especially didn't want to correct the kid in front of his mom. So I smiled and hoped that they would go away.
"You draw the pictures?" the mother asked, impressed.
Now I was stuck. "Actually, I'm a writer," I said.
Her face fell, her enthusiasm considerably diminished. "Oh. Well, then— what do you do in the comics?" She could not conceive that there was any function to a comic beyond the pictures on the page.
The son jumped in to explain matters. "The artist does the story, and then the writer fills in the words."
My smile pasted on my face, I bobbed my head slightly, pulled out my revolver and shot them both.
You would have, too.
A writer fills the lowest niche
Of the entire human span;
He is just above the rat and should always tip his hat
When he meets the garbage man.
His lips should tremble and his face should pale.
His steps should falter and his eyes should quail.
He should live somewhere in a 'dobe hut,
And he always should be ready for a sal'ry cut.
Of the entire human span;
He is just above the rat and should always tip his hat
When he meets the garbage man.
His lips should tremble and his face should pale.
His steps should falter and his eyes should quail.
He should live somewhere in a 'dobe hut,
And he always should be ready for a sal'ry cut.
— "Studio Writer's Song" from Hollywood Pinafore by George S. Kaufman
Drew: Is it normal for football players that they would think of the kicker as being less?
Glen: Yes.
Drew: Oh. Even though they need a kicker—
Glen: Yeah.
Drew: Well fuck them.
Glen: Whatever. Movies need screenwriters and we're still thought of as less.
Drew: Oh. Yeah. That's true.
Glen: Every profession has that position that gets shit on.
Glen: Yes.
Drew: Oh. Even though they need a kicker—
Glen: Yeah.
Drew: Well fuck them.
Glen: Whatever. Movies need screenwriters and we're still thought of as less.
Drew: Oh. Yeah. That's true.
Glen: Every profession has that position that gets shit on.
Tycho: I make a webcomic.
Hairdresser: I don't know what that is. Is that like a Webtoon?
Tycho: In a lot of ways, yeah.
Gabriel: He doesn't even make it. He just writes it.
Hairdresser: What, just like, the words? That's a job?
Gabriel: I know. It's crazy.
Hairdresser: I don't know what that is. Is that like a Webtoon?
Tycho: In a lot of ways, yeah.
Gabriel: He doesn't even make it. He just writes it.
Hairdresser: What, just like, the words? That's a job?
Gabriel: I know. It's crazy.
Thoos (in a human's body): Anyhow, what with robots and only the big three corporations, there aren’t all that many jobs. Which means one can hand pick the best employees.
Picknar: While the rest of our people bide their time.
Knox: How do they survive with no work?
Picknar: Everyone’s provided housing, modest but comfy. Kind of just a bed in a small room.
Thoos: I disagree. I’d hardly call that housing.
Picknar: And you can get food everywhere from the public food synths, although I think they program them to make food not very good.
Thoos: That, however, I fully agree with.
The Rant: I’m not sure what their society does with cartoonist though. Maybe they keep them in underground pods with nothing but a few juice packets.
Picknar: While the rest of our people bide their time.
Knox: How do they survive with no work?
Picknar: Everyone’s provided housing, modest but comfy. Kind of just a bed in a small room.
Thoos: I disagree. I’d hardly call that housing.
Picknar: And you can get food everywhere from the public food synths, although I think they program them to make food not very good.
Thoos: That, however, I fully agree with.
The Rant: I’m not sure what their society does with cartoonist though. Maybe they keep them in underground pods with nothing but a few juice packets.
