"I can't wait to get away from you
Unsurprisingly you hate me, too
We only communicate when we need to fight
But we are best friends, right?"
Unsurprisingly you hate me, too
We only communicate when we need to fight
But we are best friends, right?"
— Amy Winehouse, "Best Friends, Right?"
"Acquaintances disagree, friends argue."
— Chinese proverb
Harold: I've got bad skin, what can I tell you.
Michael: Who wouldn't, after they deliberately take a pair of tweezers and deliberately mutilate their pores. No wonder you've got holes in your face after the hack-job you've done on yourself, year in and year out.
Harold: You hateful sow.
Michael: Yes, you've got scars on your face, but they're not that bad. And if you'd leave yourself alone, you wouldn't have more than you've already awarded yourself.
Harold: You'd really like me to compliment you now, for being so honest, wouldn't you? For being my best friend, who will tell me what even my best friends won't tell me.
Michael: Who wouldn't, after they deliberately take a pair of tweezers and deliberately mutilate their pores. No wonder you've got holes in your face after the hack-job you've done on yourself, year in and year out.
Harold: You hateful sow.
Michael: Yes, you've got scars on your face, but they're not that bad. And if you'd leave yourself alone, you wouldn't have more than you've already awarded yourself.
Harold: You'd really like me to compliment you now, for being so honest, wouldn't you? For being my best friend, who will tell me what even my best friends won't tell me.
"People think we had a love-hate relationship. Well, I did not love him, nor did I hate him. We had mutual respect for each other, even as we both planned each other's murder."
— Werner Herzog on Klaus Kinski (he's not joking, by the way)
"We're friends, but it's not a perfect relationship."
— Mew, The Christmas Toy
"Once Gene and I were invited in a joint appearance with another Chicago media couple, Steve Dahl and Gary Meier... Gene and I were known for our rages against each other, and Steve and Gary were known for their accord. They gave us advice about how to work together as a successful team. Soon afterward Steve and Gary had an angry falling-out that continues to this day."
Red Mage: Would you rather be killed by Sarda or by your beloved friends?
Black Mage: Neither! Also, I hate you guys.
Red Mage: Hate is a kind of love.
Penny: Why do you hang out with [Sheldon]?
Howard: We like Leonard [Sheldon's roommate].
Mario: You work for me now. You do some jobs for me, you work yourself out of debt. You fuck up (cuts to henchman holding Tails at gun-point) I'll kill your little fox friend there.
Sonic: Yeah, I'm going to stop you there, that's not really a threat to me at all.
Tails: Mmm, yeah, he's right, he could give a shit if I live or die.
Sonic: Yeah, I'm going to stop you there, that's not really a threat to me at all.
Tails: Mmm, yeah, he's right, he could give a shit if I live or die.
"You guys are the worst friends ever!"
— Joey, Yu-gi-oh! The Abridged Series
Brad: I kinda turn around and look at the unconscious bloody body of Mr. You-don't-know-it-but-you're-already-dead, and...
Brian: I'm communing with my god, shut up!
Brad: ...And wonder if we should just leave him to die.
Aimee: No, 'cause I need him to heal me.
Brian: I'm communing with my god, shut up!
Brad: ...And wonder if we should just leave him to die.
Aimee: No, 'cause I need him to heal me.
— Jade Regent, episode 3, from RPGMP3
"There is a kind of merry war betwixt Signior Benedick and her. They never meet but there's a skirmish of wit between them."
— Leonato, Much Ado About Nothing, I.i.60
Hobbes: You know, maybe we don't need enemies.
Calvin: Yeah, best friends are about all I can take.
— Calvin and Hobbes, after another snowball fight.
"But as she shook your hand, she stole your man
And it was done so swift, it had to be a plan
Couldn't trust her with cheese, let alone your keys
With friends like that you don't need enemies"
And it was done so swift, it had to be a plan
Couldn't trust her with cheese, let alone your keys
With friends like that you don't need enemies"
— Whodini, "Friends"
Stan: We're gonna go to save the little baby cows, fatass!
Cartman: What? Why?
Kyle: 'Cause they're gonna get slaughtered tomorrow, butthole!
Cartman: So?
Stan: So we can't let 'em die, douchebag! You're our friend; now come help us!
Cartman: Well, let's see. In the last 3.2 seconds you've called me "fatass", "butthole", and "douchebag". I really don't feel like you guys' friend.
Cartman: What? Why?
Kyle: 'Cause they're gonna get slaughtered tomorrow, butthole!
Cartman: So?
Stan: So we can't let 'em die, douchebag! You're our friend; now come help us!
Cartman: Well, let's see. In the last 3.2 seconds you've called me "fatass", "butthole", and "douchebag". I really don't feel like you guys' friend.
— South Park ("Fun With Veal")
"You know, you guys are the reason I need therapy."
— Krillin, Dragon Ball Z Abridged
Guldo: (Vegeta) cut off my head. In front of all my friends!
Jeice: And us!
(Guldo stares at Jeice with a disbelieving look, followed by Burter high-fiving Guldo's outstretched hand)
Jeice: And us!
(Guldo stares at Jeice with a disbelieving look, followed by Burter high-fiving Guldo's outstretched hand)
— HFIL episode 2, "Sharing Circles of Hell"
JonTron: You know...I took in what you said, and I don't care.
Egoraptor: Glad to know I have friends like you.
Egoraptor: Glad to know I have friends like you.
"If you were Harry's enemy, his plots might be hard to see through at first, they might even be stupid, but his reasoning would make sense once you understood it, you would comprehend that he was trying to hurt you.
The way Harry was acting toward Draco right now did not make sense.
Because if you were Harry's friend, then he tried to be friends with you in the alien, incomprehensible way he'd been raised by Muggles to do, even if it meant destroying your entire life.
[...]
And Draco realized with a note of horror and despair, that although it was a terrifying fate indeed to be Harry's friend, Harry now had so many different avenues for threatening Draco that being his enemy would be even worse.
Probably.
Maybe.
Well, he could always switch to being enemies later...
He was doomed."
The way Harry was acting toward Draco right now did not make sense.
Because if you were Harry's friend, then he tried to be friends with you in the alien, incomprehensible way he'd been raised by Muggles to do, even if it meant destroying your entire life.
[...]
And Draco realized with a note of horror and despair, that although it was a terrifying fate indeed to be Harry's friend, Harry now had so many different avenues for threatening Draco that being his enemy would be even worse.
Probably.
Maybe.
Well, he could always switch to being enemies later...
He was doomed."
Michael: Isn't that sort of what we do?
Katie: Real friends, Michael. Real friends.
Katie: Real friends, Michael. Real friends.
— After Hours, "5 Horrifying Secret Rules Of Life In A Movie Universe"
Sonic: You're making my work go really slow!
Captain Rescue: I'm just trying to help!
Sonic: Yeah, well, with help like yours, we don't need badniks!
Captain Rescue: I'm just trying to help!
Sonic: Yeah, well, with help like yours, we don't need badniks!
— Adventures of Sonic the Hedgehog, "Over The Hill Hero"
"You are not my friend, my friend."
— Salladhor Saan, Game of Thrones
"I have no trouble with my enemies. I can take care of my enemies in a fight. But my friends, my goddamned friends, they're the ones who keep me walking the floor at nights!"
— President Warren G. Harding, who kept less-than-scrupulous company
"Fine, leave! See if I care! With friends like you, who needs... enemies?"
— Twilight Sparkle, My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic, "The Return of Harmony Part 2"
Aerith: I wonder where they [the other AVALANCHE members] are? They must be so worried about you...
(Smash Cut to the 7th Heaven)
Barret: Well! I guess Cloud's dead. Guess we all owe Biggs ten bucks.
Biggs: Yes! (everyone else grumbles)
(back to Cloud and Aerith)
Cloud: What can I say? It...pays to have friends...
(Smash Cut to the 7th Heaven)
Barret: Well! I guess Cloud's dead. Guess we all owe Biggs ten bucks.
Biggs: Yes! (everyone else grumbles)
(back to Cloud and Aerith)
Cloud: What can I say? It...pays to have friends...
Easy Rawlins: If you got a friend that you know does bad things, I mean real bad things, and you still keep him as a friend even though you know what he's like, do you think that's wrong?
Degan Odell: All you got is your friends.
Maki: She's the embodiment of a self-loving narcissist who doesn't care about others. That tactless hairpin weirdo only knows how to seduce men. I'll never forgive her....
Shirogane: Didn't you say she's a precious friend?
Shirogane: Didn't you say she's a precious friend?
He threatened to kill me on one occasion. I considered that a great honour, because he only did that to his friends.
"I'll be taking my leave. I've just realized that the most efficient way to kill the four of you is to leave you to your own devices. You'll do a better job killing yourselves than I ever could."
—Illya (after witnessing Rin and Shirou arguing during their whole fight while Archer tried to kill Shirou), Fate/stay night [Unlimited Blade Works] Abridged
Chuck: So you give away my position to the enemy, are quick to jump to the worst possible conclusion when I do things, think two of my companions and my sister should be locked up, casually murder people, and have a history of lying to get what you want from people. Why exactly are we friends again?
Fenris: I... need to go.
Chuck: Yeah. I think we can agree on that. You're welcome, by the way! ...Asshole.
Fenris: I... need to go.
Chuck: Yeah. I think we can agree on that. You're welcome, by the way! ...Asshole.
— SF Debris reviews Dragon Age II
Tamama, you won't leave me, right? Right? We're friends. Sure I yell at you, and threaten you, and say mean things about your mom, but that's just 'cause I'm trying to build your character and make you a better soldier than the annoying suck-up you are.
— Keroro (after seeing his team leave him one by one to join Dark Momoka), Sgt. Frog
Warren turned to glare at them, "I hope you both realize that you're going to die. And, for good measure, I might just kill Scott for leaving the two of you alone, unsupervised."
Hank rolled his eyes. "One of these days you're going to have to tell me where you met Barbie's blow-up, anorexic cousin."
"Her name is Candy, Hank," Warren griped. "Thank you SO much for wrecking my date with her."
Hank rolled his eyes. "One of these days you're going to have to tell me where you met Barbie's blow-up, anorexic cousin."
"Her name is Candy, Hank," Warren griped. "Thank you SO much for wrecking my date with her."
Red Mage: Look on the bright side, Black Mage. You can die in peace now that Sarda absorbed all of your evil.
[Beat Panel. Suddenly, Red Mage has one of Black Mage's knives embedded in his head]
Red Mage: Most of your evil. [another Beat Panel; another knife] Some of your - [a third knife appears in his head] Ah'll thud ub bow.
Sarda: The irony is that there's not much left for me to do to you that you haven't already done to yourselves.
Nina Romina: Friends don't pressure friends to sleep with them.
Lou Bloom: Actually that's not true, because as you know Nina, a friend is a gift you give yourself.
Lou Bloom: Actually that's not true, because as you know Nina, a friend is a gift you give yourself.
Veronica Sawyer: I just killed my best friend.
J.D.: And your worst enemy.
Veronica: Same difference.
J.D.: And your worst enemy.
Veronica: Same difference.
Needy Lesnicky: You know what? You were never really a good friend. Even when we were little, you used to steal my toys and pour lemonade on my bed.
Jennifer Check: And now, I'm eating your boyfriend. See? At least I'm consistent.
Jennifer Check: And now, I'm eating your boyfriend. See? At least I'm consistent.
"You're pointing a gun on a good friend you've known for more than a decade!"
— Ben to Paul, Bullet in the Head
"Why not?! All the people I care about in this world are being wads!"
— Finn, Adventure Time
"I remain a friend to all. And as always, when you have a friend in the Nightcrawler, who needs enemies?"
— Lucien 'The Nightcrawler' LaCroix, Forever Knight, "Night in Question"
Kif: We are friends, aren't we?
Zapp: Kif, you took me out into space and left me to die. I'm going to "friend" the hell out of you until the end of your days.
Kif: I'll take it.
Zapp: Kif, you took me out into space and left me to die. I'm going to "friend" the hell out of you until the end of your days.
Kif: I'll take it.
— Futurama
Lucy: Here he comes! Attention, everyone! Here's our director! (the children clap)
Snoopy: Booooooooooooooooooooo!
Charlie Brown: ...Man's best friend.
Snoopy: Booooooooooooooooooooo!
Charlie Brown: ...Man's best friend.
"During Harry's date, his best friend, Tom Paris, decides to sabotage it, knowing that Harry has a long history of relationship issues, so him possibly finding some happiness out here must naturally be halted immediately. Again, this is Harry's best friend. I am not saying that ironically. I am saying it as the sad fact that it is."
