Bart: If there's anything fairy tales have taught us it's that first wives are perfect and second wives are horrible.
Homer: The exact opposite of real life.
Homer: The exact opposite of real life.
—The Simpsons, "The Ned-Liest Catch"
My father's wife is old and harsh with years,
And drudge of all my father's house am I—
My bread is sorrow and my drink is tears.
Come back to me, Beloved, or I die!
And drudge of all my father's house am I—
My bread is sorrow and my drink is tears.
Come back to me, Beloved, or I die!
—Rudyard Kipling, The Love Song of Har Dyal
I was but seven year auld
When my mither she did die;
My father married the ae warst woman
The warld did ever see.
When my mither she did die;
My father married the ae warst woman
The warld did ever see.
— The Laily Worm and the Machrel of the Sea
Mr. Snodgrass: I ain't your daddy, I'm your mother's husband, and I refuse to be responsible for any mistakes but my own!
Stanley: *turns to his mother* I think one of us just got insulted.
Well, file this under both “Not Shocking” and “This Is NOT What The Genie Would Want”. Six months after the beyond-sad death of Robin Williams, the New York Times says his wife of three years Susan Williams is rewriting the chapter on Tacky Moves in the Gold Digger Widow Handbook...she’s withholding Robin’s collection of watches, because according to Susan, watches aren’t technically jewelery, and therefore they belong to her. Next thing you know she’ll be claiming that an Academy Award isn’t an award, but a gold-plated humanoid Feng Shui decoration.
Cheerleader: Your stepmoms is teh fascist.
Hera: That little spat I had with Hercules? Honestly, I get so much bad press because of one disagreement.
Annabeth: Didn't you try to kill him, like, a lot of times?
Hera: Water under the bridge, my dear. Besides, he was one of my loving husband's children by another woman. My patience wore thin, I'll admit it.
Annabeth: Didn't you try to kill him, like, a lot of times?
Hera: Water under the bridge, my dear. Besides, he was one of my loving husband's children by another woman. My patience wore thin, I'll admit it.
