Then help us! Don't help us!
— Mr. Soil, regarding Flik, A Bug's Life
I didn't need yer help, y'know.
— Demoman, Team Fortress 2
Stop helping.
— Tuco Salamanca, Better Call Saul
Stop doing it for me! You're doing it to me!
— Moe Howard, The Three Stooges
WE ARE HELPING! WE ARE HELPING!
— Dumbed-down binomes, ReBoot
Uh oh, everything's working fine, better call in the military!
— Gordon Freeman, Freeman's Mind
Like one who takes away a garment on a cold day, or like vinegar poured on nitre, is one who sings songs to a heavy heart.
I have heard many things like these; miserable comforters are you all! Will your long-winded speeches never end? What ails you that you keep on arguing? I could also speak like you, if you were in my place; I could make fine speeches against you and shake my head at you.
— Job, The Bible, Job 16:2-4
Church: "Caboose, Help Agent South!"
Caboose: "OK" *Shoots Agent South*
Caboose: "OK" *Shoots Agent South*
Zeetha: Are you sure they're trying to help?
Gil: It's my fault, really. I make it look easy.
Gil: It's my fault, really. I make it look easy.
Judge: Do the defendants have anything to say in their behalf before the court pronounces sentence?
Bloom: I would like to say a word, sir, not on my behalf, but in behalf of my partner, Max Bialystock.
Judge: Proceed.
Bloom: Thank you, your honor. Max Bialystock is a very selfish man.
Bialystock: Don't help me.
Bloom: I would like to say a word, sir, not on my behalf, but in behalf of my partner, Max Bialystock.
Judge: Proceed.
Bloom: Thank you, your honor. Max Bialystock is a very selfish man.
Bialystock: Don't help me.
The nine most terrifying words in the English language are, "I'm from the government and I'm here to help."
Wallace: Scott!
Scott (while fighting): What?
Wallace: Watch out! It's that one guy!
Scott: Okay, thank you, Wallace.
Scott (while fighting): What?
Wallace: Watch out! It's that one guy!
Scott: Okay, thank you, Wallace.
Harry: "Just promise me one thing, Dobby."
Dobby: "Anything, Harry Potter!"
Harry: "Never try to save my life again."
Dobby: "Anything, Harry Potter!"
Harry: "Never try to save my life again."
"You just got Mario sucked into a black hole, a gateway to the dark void between realities, where he will be tortured forever. That is not helping. That is the opposite of helping."
Team engineer: Okay Kimi, the next car behind you is [Fernando] Alonso. Alonso is 5 seconds behind you; I will keep you updated on the gap. I will keep you updated on the pace.
Kimi Räikkönen: Just leave me alone! I know what to do.
Kimi Räikkönen: Just leave me alone! I know what to do.
— Team Lotus's radio, 2012 Formula One Abu Dhabi GP
"Dear Kimi: We Will Leave You Alone Now."
— Alfa Romeo's special livery
referencing the above for Kimi Räikkönen's final F1 race, 2021 Formula One Abu Dhabi GP
referencing the above for Kimi Räikkönen's final F1 race, 2021 Formula One Abu Dhabi GPDerpy: Are you okay, Rainbow Dash? Is there anything I can do to help?
Rainbow Dash: NO! Nothing! For the love of Celestia, just sit there...and do...NOTHING!
Derpy: **Sits down so hard she breaks the floor**
Rainbow Dash: NO! Nothing! For the love of Celestia, just sit there...and do...NOTHING!
Derpy: **Sits down so hard she breaks the floor**
Their governments are sometimes unlovely rich men's dictatorships, which proclaim loudly that they are loyal allies of the United States, though the United States should not always be pleased to have them.
— The Think-Tank's November 1984 Report, The Third World War
"I didn't ask for this."
— Adventurers with the "Sassy" voice type when getting healed out of combatnote , Etrian Odyssey V: Beyond The Myth
Peggy: I just realized something. You think you're being helpful.
Joan: Well I am trying, dear.
Joan: Well I am trying, dear.
Ty Webb: Just be the ball, be the ball, be the ball. You're not being the ball, Danny.
Danny Noonan: It's hard when you're talking like that!
Danny Noonan: It's hard when you're talking like that!
Zachary Zugg took out the rug,
And Jennifer Joy helped shake it.
And Jennifer Joy, she made a toy,
And Zachary Zugg helped break it.
And some kind of help is the kind of help
That helping's all about.
And some kind of help is the kind of help
We all could do without.
And Jennifer Joy helped shake it.
And Jennifer Joy, she made a toy,
And Zachary Zugg helped break it.
And some kind of help is the kind of help
That helping's all about.
And some kind of help is the kind of help
We all could do without.
— "Helping", Shel Silverstein
[Tex and Tucker are facing off when a giant crate drops between them]
Caboose: Yes! I saved Tucker! [beat] Oh wait. [unenthused] I saved Tucker.
Tucker: Caboose, what are you doing?! You're messing up my plan with Simmons! I was supposed to distract her for him!
[Tex turns around and sees Simmons frantically loading the rocket launcher]
Simmons: You ratted me out, you son of a bitch!
Caboose: Yes! I saved Tucker! [beat] Oh wait. [unenthused] I saved Tucker.
Tucker: Caboose, what are you doing?! You're messing up my plan with Simmons! I was supposed to distract her for him!
[Tex turns around and sees Simmons frantically loading the rocket launcher]
Simmons: You ratted me out, you son of a bitch!
Jessica: Hobie, you're not helping.
Hobie: Good.
