You hear that kids? Act like a good little boy all year, and Santa might bring you a new bike. Act like a spoiled brat all year, and Ryan Seacrest will give you a 1-hour special on Comedy Central. I think we can all agree that Ryan Seacrest should just bite the bullet and change his Twitter bio to “I put assholes on television“.
—Dlisted
, "Justin Bieber Is Getting His Own Comedy Central Roast"
, "Justin Bieber Is Getting His Own Comedy Central Roast"Shaun: In retrospect, do you think it was wise not only to demote Ms. Lambie but suspend her from attending any Palmer United meetings?
Heinrich: We had no choice, Shaun. She hadn't attended the last three party meetings.
Shaun: Yes, but do you think preventing her from coming to the meetings she wasn't coming to was the most effective form of punishment?
Heinrich: If she wasn't going to come to the meetings we weren't going to let her stand by and not come to them.
Dolly: She wasn't coming to them, just 'cause, she wasn't coming to them. Not 'cause you told her not to.
Heinrich: No she wasn't!
Dolly: Yes she was! Not! Coming to them! Idiot!
Heinrich: No, she wasn't not coming to them because she wasn't coming to them, she wasn't coming to them because we said she couldn't.
Dolly: You can't stop her coming if she's not coming! What are you stopping?
Heinrich: ...Well we did! And you're an idiot!
Heinrich: We had no choice, Shaun. She hadn't attended the last three party meetings.
Shaun: Yes, but do you think preventing her from coming to the meetings she wasn't coming to was the most effective form of punishment?
Heinrich: If she wasn't going to come to the meetings we weren't going to let her stand by and not come to them.
Dolly: She wasn't coming to them, just 'cause, she wasn't coming to them. Not 'cause you told her not to.
Heinrich: No she wasn't!
Dolly: Yes she was! Not! Coming to them! Idiot!
Heinrich: No, she wasn't not coming to them because she wasn't coming to them, she wasn't coming to them because we said she couldn't.
Dolly: You can't stop her coming if she's not coming! What are you stopping?
Heinrich: ...Well we did! And you're an idiot!
Holt: So I spoke to Internal Affairs, and since Hitchcock and Scully did steal that money, even though it was to help someone, there have to be consequences.
Hitchcock and Scully: Desk duty, desk duty, desk duty...
Holt: One year of desk duty.
Hitchcock and Scully: Yeah! Oh, I mean, oh, no.
Hitchcock and Scully: Desk duty, desk duty, desk duty...
Holt: One year of desk duty.
Hitchcock and Scully: Yeah! Oh, I mean, oh, no.
Demon: I see you're down here for gluttony.
Sinner: I'm a glutton for punishment.
Demon (into a walkie-talkie): Can I get a supervisor over here?
— Tumblr post
First she says go out. Now she says come in.
Narrator: "Oh dear. You're on the naughty step on Christmas Day!"
Princess: "I know!"
Narrator: "You seem very happy."
Princess: "I am; the naughty step is right next to my tree!"
— Little Princess, "I Want to Be Good"
Mr. Krupp: As punishment, I am taking away your school lunch privileges. You will have to bring your own lunches and eat in my office!
Harold: That's a punishment? Taking away our lunch privileges?
George: Gee, maybe if we're really bad, he'll take away our homework privileges!
— Captain Underpants, Captain Underpants and the Invasion of the Incredibly Naughty Cafeteria Ladies from Outer Space (and the Subsequent Assault of the Equally Evil Lunchroom Zombie Nerds)
"Are you kidding, colonel? Maybe this sounds like punishment to you, but to me, it's the ultimate dream job!"
— Charles Amundson/Glitch, Marvel Super Heroes 12 Winter Special
