I can scarcely convey how it cultivates the sky-rending, history-altering urgency of, say, an imminent terrorist attack or one of my teammates requiring rescue from a Shinra rape dungeon to pause and collect twelve of fifteen Chocobo turds first! ...How incommensurate are these innocuous activities within the otherwise epic scope of a fucking fantasy RPG, you inquire? At one point, I had to traverse an underground murder fortress to have a fistfight with the fucking Devil because some limber-dicked doctor douche had to make a medicine out of his horn. I repeat: I went to Cyber Hell and kicked the shit out of Satan because my doctor said Mylanta!
"Lemme ask you something: What is the difference between: A. killing a bunch of zombies to get hearts out of them, collecting the hearts, and then going back to town to get an item to go to another part of the game, and B. playing a game where you kill zombies that are obstructing your forward path to another part of the game? Answer: 4 hours!"
— Egoraptor, Sequelitis: Castlevania 1 vs. Castlevania 2
"I feel like I'm in a WoW quest, right? Where it's like, get twelve bear asses...and you try to get the bear asses and it's like, nooooope. And three hours later, you're still working? And you ONLY NEED ONE."
"Adelard wants three bear pelts. Since not all bears have pelts, this means I've got to kill a goodly number of them in order to find the pelt-having bears. I wish there was some way to tell if a bear had a pelt just by looking at it. And I wish it was possible to be more sarcastic than I am now."
"I've just got a new girlfriend, so I'd like to craft a new instrument... That's right, you guessed it! I don't have enough materials!"
— Alcamoth Citizen, Xenoblade Chronicles 1
Merchant 1: Spring's coming, so we'll have lots of adventurers through soon — we need quests to give them. Good ones that don't just feel like we're wasting their time.
Merchant 2: Fetch me thirty buffalo horns!
Merchant 1: Were you even listening to me?
Merchant 2: Suck my dick!
Merchant 1: Is that another quest suggestion?
Merchant 2: No wait — I got a good one — An assassination quest!
Merchant 1: Ah! Good! Who can they go after?
Merchant 2: Assassinate fifteen buffalo!
Merchant 1: Fantastic. Unrelatedly, what's your home address and how strong is your security?
Merchant 2: Fetch me thirty buffalo horns!
Merchant 1: Were you even listening to me?
Merchant 2: Suck my dick!
Merchant 1: Is that another quest suggestion?
Merchant 2: No wait — I got a good one — An assassination quest!
Merchant 1: Ah! Good! Who can they go after?
Merchant 2: Assassinate fifteen buffalo!
Merchant 1: Fantastic. Unrelatedly, what's your home address and how strong is your security?
