Quotes / Totally Not a Criminal Front

Donbot: You wanna join me, Clamps and Joey Mousepad at our, uh, "social club" tomorrow night?
Bender: Uh, I'd rather plan some felonies.
Donbot: Oh. Then we should meet at our Mafia crime headquarters.

—Futurama

N-O-M-A-F-I-A
Oh baby!

Welcome, welcome, generous friends
Days and weeks and tokens to spend
We're just regular business men
Just you and me an' Ted E. Bear.

Ted E. Bear's is oodles of fun
Slots and sandwiches and poker and guns
And look: no mobsters — nary a one
With you and me an' Ted E. Bear.

Not mafia, no!
(No mafia, mugs)
We're mafia-free!
(No mafia here!)
(What mafia? Please!)
No shady leaves upon the fam-i-ly tree!

J. Edgar Hoover always insists:
Organized crime just doesn't exist!
Q.E.D. they're not in our midst
Say Edgar, me, an' Ted E. Bear

No goons, no droppers, no grifters, no thugs
No dips, no clippers, no chippies, no lugs
No button-men packing gats loaded with slugs
It's you and me an' Ted E. Bear!

No mafia here!
(What mafia? Please!)
We're mafia-free!
(No mafia here!)
(No mafia, mugs)
Just doin' business legitimately!

—"Ted E. Bear's Mafia-free Playland and Casino Theme", Sam & Max Save the World.

In my old neighbourhood, a boy grew up to be one of four things: a doctor, a lawyer, a priest or a... businesssman.

— Antonio Nappa, Oz

---