"That's your killer. A 150 million year old shark. And it's hungry."
— Trace McGraw, Dinoshark
People will tell you, "Oh, you don't need to be afraid of sharks. They have more reason to fear humans than humans have to fear sharks." True. Humans kill far more sharks than sharks kill humans. Will that fact make you feel any better if a shark chomps you in two at the waist?
Probably not.
Sharks are killing machines. Mostly they kill fish. In some parts of the world they kill seals. They kill dolphins. They kill whales, when they can manage it. And they kill humans. At least some species do: the great white, the tiger shark... and the hammerhead. This was the killing machine I had become. Utterly without fear. Utterly without emotion. A mind with no room for anything else but killing. There was nothing playful, like you'd find with a lion. Nothing in the shark that cared about family or children. No sense of belonging. Just a solitary creature of sharp, cutting triangles. A restless, ever-moving thing, ever questing after blood.
—Animorphs #15: The Escape
"As a child, I thought sharks were my friends! [removes his glove to reveal a robot arm underneath and says in an ominous voice] I know better now..."
—Professor Membrane, Invader Zim: Enter the Florpus
"Rook fishermen speak of a bull shark with a taste for human meat. None who set out to catch it were seen again, but one man did manage to get a hook into the monster's mouth before being slowly devoured. Probably should have stayed in bed that day."
—Agent Willis' Survival Guide, Far Cry 3
And the shark 'ath pretty teeth, dear
And it shows 'em pearly white
And a jack-knife 'ath Mac'eath, dear
But 'ee keeps it out o' sight
And it shows 'em pearly white
And a jack-knife 'ath Mac'eath, dear
But 'ee keeps it out o' sight
—Street singer, The Threepenny Opera
"Suppose you fell over with this fish. Is there anything you could do? Sure. Pray."
— Peter Benchley, Jaws
"Mr. Vaughn, what we are dealing with here is a perfect engine, an eating machine. It's really a miracle of evolution. All this machine does is swim and eat and make little sharks, and that's all."
—Hooper, Jaws
''In an effort to cure Alzheimer's, scientists in an underwater lab inject science directly into the brains of regular sharks. In a twist that for some reason was unexpected by the scientists, the sharks become super smart. They use their new skills to terrorize the research team, who for some reason refuse to let the sharks just escape into the open ocean.
After several reasonably standard shark deaths, including a shark destroying a helicopter, Samuel L. Jackson takes stock of the situation, tells everyone to calm down, and provides an awe-inspiring rallying speeches in the face of disastrous adversity. He spends so much time going face-to-face with adversity, that he neglects to guard his back, which is aimed at the only giant hole in the lab where a super shark may be expected to hang out.
Not surprisingly, he gets his ass eaten by a super shark.
After several reasonably standard shark deaths, including a shark destroying a helicopter, Samuel L. Jackson takes stock of the situation, tells everyone to calm down, and provides an awe-inspiring rallying speeches in the face of disastrous adversity. He spends so much time going face-to-face with adversity, that he neglects to guard his back, which is aimed at the only giant hole in the lab where a super shark may be expected to hang out.
Not surprisingly, he gets his ass eaten by a super shark.
— Cracked on Deep Blue Sea
"Sharks are just evil fucking beasts. But they are protected, the Great White Shark, a protected species, because if they all die, there won't be any huge, murdering beasts in the sea — which I think is a good thing, isn't it?"
— Eddie Izzard, Sexie (2002)
"S'all right, I understand. Why trust a shark, right?"
— Bruce, Finding Nemo
"Why does a shark know kung-fu?!"
— Negi Springfield, Negima! Magister Negi Magi
"Thank you, God, for making sharks so evil."
—The King of England, Axe Cop
