Blogs
As a Gen-Xer, I am a neutral party in the raging war between Baby Boomers and Millennials, and I hereby declare that Dustin is really shitty in its treatment of young people! Like surely there is humor to be mined from this conflict of worldviews but instead we get things like today, “Ha ha, youths can’t hold down a job because they just spontaneously fall asleep all the time! Meanwhile, the ADULTS who MADE THIS COUNTRY WHAT IT IS TODAY are going to enjoy some LEGITIMATE HIGHBROW CULTURE.”
Literature
"When on my first appearing in episcopal gaiters in a drawing-room I cried out in a voice of thunder, 'Down! down! presumptuous human reason!' they found out in some way that I was not a bishop at all. I was nabbed at once. Then I made up as a millionaire; but I defended Capital with so much intelligence that a fool could see that I was quite poor. Then I tried being a major. Now I am a humanitarian myself, but I have, I hope, enough intellectual breadth to understand the position of those who, like Nietzsche, admire violence — the proud, mad war of Nature and all that, you know. I threw myself into the major. I drew my sword and waved it constantly. I called out 'Blood!' abstractedly, like a man calling for wine. I often said, 'Let the weak perish; it is the Law.' Well, well, it seems majors don't do this. I was nabbed again."
— Gregory, The Man Who Was Thursday.
Webcomics
Granny: I am the humble and reasonable personification of the artist. I am humble and articulate on topics I have a basic grasp of.
Youth: I'M A WILD FUCKING STEREOTYPE
Granny: Whoa, you need to relax! I'm obviously right because I am calm in this matter and thusly smarter than you.
Youth: TOO LATE! I'M ALREADY MADE OF STRAW, FUCKBOY
Granny: Oh! Those poor SJW LGBTBBQJIDFWXYZ activists are so misguided!
Youth: I'M A WILD FUCKING STEREOTYPE
Granny: Whoa, you need to relax! I'm obviously right because I am calm in this matter and thusly smarter than you.
Youth: TOO LATE! I'M ALREADY MADE OF STRAW, FUCKBOY
Granny: Oh! Those poor SJW LGBTBBQJIDFWXYZ activists are so misguided!
—Ben Garrison parody
Web Original
A liberal muslim homosexual ACLU lawyer professor and abortion doctor was teaching a class on Karl Marx, known atheist
"Before the class begins, you must get on your knees and worship Marx and accept that he was the most highly-evolved being the world has ever known, even greater than Jesus Christ!"
At this moment, a brave, patriotic, pro-life Navy SEAL champion who had served 1500 tours of duty and understood the necessity of war and fully supported all military decision made by the United States stood up and held up a rock.
"How old is this rock, pinhead?"
The arrogant professor smirked quite Jewishly and smugly replied "4.6 billion years, you stupid Christian"
"Wrong. It's been 5,000 years since God created it. If it was 4.6 billion years old and evolution, as you say, is real... then it should be an animal now"
The professor was visibly shaken, and dropped his chalk and copy of Origin of the Species. He stormed out of the room crying those liberal crocodile tears. The same tears liberals cry for the "poor" (who today live in such luxury that most own refrigerators) when they jealously try to claw justly earned wealth from the deserving job creators. There is no doubt that at this point our professor, DeShawn Washington, wished he had pulled himself up by his bootstraps and become more than a sophist liberal professor. He wished so much that he had a gun to shoot himself from embarrassment, but he himself had petitioned against them!
The students applauded and all registered Republican that day and accepted Jesus as their lord and savior. An eagle named "Small Government" flew into the room and perched atop the American Flag and shed a tear on the chalk. The pledge of allegiance was read several times, and God himself showed up and enacted a flat tax rate across the country.
The professor lost his tenure and was fired the next day. He died of the gay plague AIDS and was tossed into the lake of fire for all eternity.
Semper Fi.
"Before the class begins, you must get on your knees and worship Marx and accept that he was the most highly-evolved being the world has ever known, even greater than Jesus Christ!"
At this moment, a brave, patriotic, pro-life Navy SEAL champion who had served 1500 tours of duty and understood the necessity of war and fully supported all military decision made by the United States stood up and held up a rock.
"How old is this rock, pinhead?"
The arrogant professor smirked quite Jewishly and smugly replied "4.6 billion years, you stupid Christian"
"Wrong. It's been 5,000 years since God created it. If it was 4.6 billion years old and evolution, as you say, is real... then it should be an animal now"
The professor was visibly shaken, and dropped his chalk and copy of Origin of the Species. He stormed out of the room crying those liberal crocodile tears. The same tears liberals cry for the "poor" (who today live in such luxury that most own refrigerators) when they jealously try to claw justly earned wealth from the deserving job creators. There is no doubt that at this point our professor, DeShawn Washington, wished he had pulled himself up by his bootstraps and become more than a sophist liberal professor. He wished so much that he had a gun to shoot himself from embarrassment, but he himself had petitioned against them!
The students applauded and all registered Republican that day and accepted Jesus as their lord and savior. An eagle named "Small Government" flew into the room and perched atop the American Flag and shed a tear on the chalk. The pledge of allegiance was read several times, and God himself showed up and enacted a flat tax rate across the country.
The professor lost his tenure and was fired the next day. He died of the gay plague AIDS and was tossed into the lake of fire for all eternity.
Semper Fi.
—The parody version of the Atheist Professor Copypasta.
Oh yeah, keep religion far, far away from wrestling. You’d think it would just be common sense, just like it is common sense to keep church and state separate. While there is often debate on exactly how separate they should be, the fact is that here in America, everyone pretty much has the right to worship whatever god they want, so long as they aren’t hanging up kidnapped victims on homemade crosses or cutting them open and extracting blood. Both of which, we’d like to note, have happened in pro wrestling’s version of religion.
Zucker doesn't stop at Moore/Malone for pointed mockery; Carol also tackles loathsome American poxes such as college educations (the damn hippies are indoctrinating your kids, people!), exercising constitutional rights, and questioning leadership. The horror. The ACLU also gets a spanking (imagined as zombies enabling terrorists).
In the post Civil War Universe, Tony Stark, the leader on the side of government registration of known superheroes, was portrayed as kind of a giant prick, as was every hero on the registration side, regardless of whether or not they actually had a point. Meanwhile all the heroes on the side of those against hero registration were painted as cool rebels.
Libertarians believe that the one-dimensional scale of the political "left-right" is insufficient to describe the many philosophies held by the general public. They introduced the Nolan Chart, which measures two dimensions of political opinion instead, conveniently placing themselves at the top, opposite Hitler.
—Rational Wiki
Using such tactics to “restore trust” in the vaccine program is akin to showing flaming car crashes and dead victims in order to “restore trust’ in automobile safety.
If a Facebook meme includes three different typefaces, a picture of the twin towers exploding, a rebel flag, a caption that begins “Let me get this straight…,” and ANY mention of Hitler anywhere, that goes right into Curt’s timeline.
—Drew Magary on Curt Schilling, "The Worst People of 2015"
on Curt Schilling, "The Worst People of 2015"Fox News is not a news channel, nor is it even really a propaganda channel. What it is is terrible professional wrestling. I mean, the black and white framing, with good guys and bad guys who you are telegraphed to cheer or boo depending on what faction they belong to. Moves that are so telegraphed, they can be used to call for mayday. Random taunting and trash talking of enemies. Random repeating of catchphrases and 'hit words of the day'. And let’s not even get started on the random “bikini babes” or the professional fembots. It’s like WWE’s slower, dumber cousin.
Maybe Ubisoft is just catering to normal, boring, unattractive people who like Far Cry just fine as it is but could go for seconds. The thing is, hypothetical speaker, that if it’s just Far Cry you want, then Far Cry 3 has yet to be topped and hasn’t gone anywhere. It’s even got quite a good plot and the occasional titty. So there’s got to be some shriveled part of you that expects novelty or they wouldn’t need to keep bringing out new ones in different settings. There, I win the argument, now piss off, you’re getting straw all over the place!
—Zero Punctuation, review of Far Cry Primal
"I gotta say, if your argument only works when you’re comparing best possible case to highly specific, intentionally derogatory, worst-case-scenarios, you’ve probably already lost the argument."
—KeithInc. on homophobes, Fundies Say the Darndest Things
Dear Sub-Human Filth,
I'm appealing to all of you stupid idiots to vote Democrat in 2018. That is if you have the basic education enough to read a ballot, anyway. I understand the majority of you racist rednecks can't even read this post, though. But those who can, please pass my message on to the rest of your inbred family.
We Democrats are morally, culturally and intellectually superior to you in every way. I will qualify myself by noting that I have a Liberal Arts degree from a college, which you obviously have never been to, if you even know what one is. I also have a black friend. I have been told by several professors that everything you hold dear is terrible. Therefore you, personally, are also terrible.
I don't know you, but I know that you're racist. I also know that you hate gay people and still get scared during lightning storms.
The religion which you hold closely, greatly believe in, and which brings you comfort—you are wrong because I'm smarter than you and I'm telling you so. It is one of the many reasons why you are stupid and I'm better than you.
You see, us Democrats want a system which helps everyone in the world. Our system is designed around love and kindness to everyone. If you don't agree, I hate you.
It's not too late to change. If you knew your history, which of course you don't, you'll remember a time in America when Indians were dragged away from their homes and forced to assimilate into white society. Well, we want to change that kind of behaviour (sorry for my spelling, as I'm not from your country) by making sure you go to college and have a small apartment in a big, busy coastal city, where you belong. That will help you rid yourselves of your backward, incorrect culture and way of thinking. We'll do everything we can to make sure you agree with us and say all the right things and not be brainwashed against thinking the same way we do.
All of you stupid, backward, redneck, racist, homophobic, uneducated yokels need to realize we're trying to build a classless society where we all get to live in harmony with each other, where we're all equal. If you only understood that you wouldn't be so much worse of a person than I am.
So please vote Democrat. Help me help you, you worthless motherfuckers.
Sincerely, -Ayru
I'm appealing to all of you stupid idiots to vote Democrat in 2018. That is if you have the basic education enough to read a ballot, anyway. I understand the majority of you racist rednecks can't even read this post, though. But those who can, please pass my message on to the rest of your inbred family.
We Democrats are morally, culturally and intellectually superior to you in every way. I will qualify myself by noting that I have a Liberal Arts degree from a college, which you obviously have never been to, if you even know what one is. I also have a black friend. I have been told by several professors that everything you hold dear is terrible. Therefore you, personally, are also terrible.
I don't know you, but I know that you're racist. I also know that you hate gay people and still get scared during lightning storms.
The religion which you hold closely, greatly believe in, and which brings you comfort—you are wrong because I'm smarter than you and I'm telling you so. It is one of the many reasons why you are stupid and I'm better than you.
You see, us Democrats want a system which helps everyone in the world. Our system is designed around love and kindness to everyone. If you don't agree, I hate you.
It's not too late to change. If you knew your history, which of course you don't, you'll remember a time in America when Indians were dragged away from their homes and forced to assimilate into white society. Well, we want to change that kind of behaviour (sorry for my spelling, as I'm not from your country) by making sure you go to college and have a small apartment in a big, busy coastal city, where you belong. That will help you rid yourselves of your backward, incorrect culture and way of thinking. We'll do everything we can to make sure you agree with us and say all the right things and not be brainwashed against thinking the same way we do.
All of you stupid, backward, redneck, racist, homophobic, uneducated yokels need to realize we're trying to build a classless society where we all get to live in harmony with each other, where we're all equal. If you only understood that you wouldn't be so much worse of a person than I am.
So please vote Democrat. Help me help you, you worthless motherfuckers.
Sincerely, -Ayru
—The "Dear Sub-Human Filth" copypastanote
Web Video
"Makes ya think. Who are the real sexists? Answer: These women. Look how happy they are to have jobs. 'You are parasites on other people creativity!' And their grammar, apparently."
—H Bomber Guy on Thunderf00t
Real Life
…in science as elsewhere, we fight for and against not men and things as they are, but for and against the caricatures we make of them.
—Joseph Schumpeter, History of Economic Analysis, p. 86.
The features of the actors playing malevolent Jews are exaggerated through makeup, lighting, and angle of photography. They sway and gesture and whine and argue just as Jews would in the antisemitic imagination; they are, of course, caricatures, physically repulsive and morally corrupt. Even Satan (Rosalinda Celentano) is a much more attractive figure than these spiteful creeps. One would need to make a single change in their manner of speech, body language, or physical features to paste them into any scene from Jew Süss.
— Omer Bartov on The Passion of the Christ, The "Jew" in Cinema: Introduction xiv.
