Quotes / The Gods Must Be Lazy

Norman: You're an angel! That makes you a messenger of hope!
Spectre: At no time did I promise you hope—
Norman: A greater power sent you! Your very existence is a testimony to faith! You mean that all you have to tell me is that those who could save us won't?

— Kingdom Come

"You give corruption far too much credit, evil does not inform good. It sullies it, like the Barbari sullied their world with violence, and that arrogant Goku sullied this sacred ground by swinging his fists at a god. Mortals receive the divine gift of intellect, the potential for wisdom, but they misuse it to destroy the beauty of creation. Mortals do not succumb to evil, they are the evil. They create it, and spread it with minds they shouldn't possess. How can we call ourselves gods if we watch this plight and do nothing to stop it?"

—Zamasu, Dragon Ball Super

"The contradictions Captain Planet has to navigate are staggering. He exists to motivate people to take better care of the environment. But he himself exists as a sort of intermediate step between the people expected to take care of the environment (the Planeteers, standing in as the audience for the most part) and the environment itself (represented by Gaia, who spends basically the entire series being enormously powerful and terminally ill all at once)."

— El Sandifer on Captain Planet (NES)

"Some days I'm a determinist. some days I'm an intelligent design Christian. Some days I just look at the world and think there's no plan, no sense. I mean that's my problem. My spirituality is my own business. However, in all the belief systems I've tried in life I never considered the creator of my universe can be kind of a couch potato."

"One moment, Carol. Frigg is about to say something funny."

— Guilded Age

Quan Chi: Shao Kahn's victory is nearly complete. Soon, he will arrive in Earthrealm.
Raiden: No! The Elder Gods will not allow it!
Quan Chi: The Elder Gods are toothless. Your world is near destruction, yet they do not act.

—Mortal Kombat 9

Let me tell you something about Him. He is the biggest underachiever of all time. He just had a good publicist, that's all. Something good happens: "It's His will." Something bad happens: "He moves in mysterious ways." You take that... that overblown press kit they call the Bible. You look for the answer in there, what do they tell you? "Shit happens."

— The Devil, End of Days

"All you ever say is to believe in you, but why should they believe when you do nothing? If I see a kid crying, I help them. But all you do is watch. There's no reason to believe in you. You demand so much without giving anything in return. How is that right?"

— Hallelujah, to YHVH, Shin Megami Tensei IV: Apocalypse

I just found out that god’s real, and she’s an idiot. I think getting plastered is about the right response.

— Aizawa, This Goddess Must Be Crazy

"Hey Zag, got a favor here to ask. Could you maybe persuade Lady Demeter to ease up on the whole 'not let everything grow' thing she's been going on about?"

—Dionysus, Hades

"My father's too distracted by his bald spot to do anything."

—Mindy, The Spongebob Squarepants Movie