Quotes / Take Our Word for It

Fiction

Miscellaneous

"Just then, as it looked for certain that the city was about to be eaten, the earth trembled, and the sun was blotted out from the sky. Suddenly, swarms of giant bees filled the air, and three hundred million armored horsemen, covered with coats of a thousand different colors, appeared on every street corner, attacking the monster cat, in a scene of such spectacular proportions, that it could never in your life be seen in a low-budget film like this. You'll notice my mouth isn't moving, either."

— And Now For Something Completely Different

Fan Works

[Heavy breathing, running, infrequent shouts.] [Static.] [Electronic squealing.] [Hoarse voices; indistinct; moist slapping (?)] [Static.] [Burst of audio distortion.] [High-pitched scream.]
T1-Echo: AGH! GET IT OFF – AAAGH!
[Low screaming, grunting, flesh tearing.] [Distorted whining.] [Gunfire.] [Static.]
T1-Echo: SOMETHING'S – IT'S STUCK! GET IT OUT!
Radio (Tejada): [Static.] ...pack it up! Everybody out!

— Transcript of the Many's attack on the Mobile Task Force Theta-1 "Hellcats", Abraxas (Hrodvitnon)

Literature

Terrible was his southward journey. Sheer were the precipices of Ered Gorgoroth, and beneath their feet were shadows that were laid before the rising of the Moon. Beyond lay the wilderness of Dungortheb, where the sorcery of Sauron and the power of Melian came together, and horror and madness walked. There spiders of the fell race of Ungoliant abode, spinning their unseen webs in which all living things were snared; and monsters wandered there that were born in the long dark before the Sun, hunting silently with many eyes. No food for Elves or Men was there in that haunted land, but death only. That journey is not accounted least among the great deeds of Beren, but he spoke of it to no one after, lest the horror return into his mind; and none know how he found a way, and so came by paths that no Man nor Elf else ever dared to tread to the borders of Doriath.

— Beren and Lúthien

But often Maeglin went with few of his folk beyond the leaguer of the hills, and the King knew not that his bidding was defied; and thus it came to pass, as fate willed, that Maeglin was taken prisoner by Orcs, and brought to Angband, Maeglin was no weakling or craven, but the torment wherewith he was threatened cowed his spirit, and he purchased his life and freedom by revealing to Morgoth the very place of Gondolin and the ways whereby it might be found and assailed.

— The Fall of Gondolin

Live-Action TV

P.T. Mindslap: Now here's a great act, it's the greatest in fact/A fabulous quartet of a-ca-ro-bats/They're called Cirque du Lune, they swing and they swoon/It happens in the darkness when there isn't a moon
Tom: I guess you just take it on faith that they're there
Crow: As they glide invisibly through the dark air
Mindslap: Well, who they are really, you'll never quite know/It's the Great Space Circus Sho-ooo-ow!
Jonah: That would be something to see
Tom: My good man, I agree
Mindslap: Nah, better to hear my great descriptions aurally/Now in Ring 2, you'll hear me tell/Of strong men possessing an even stronger smell/Sniff as they lift with impossible ease/You'll laugh; you'll cry; you'll possibly sneeze!
Crow: And that's in the dark, too?
Tom: He narrates it to you?
Jonah: So really, the audience won't have a clue

— Mystery Science Theater 3000, "Carnival Magic", "Great Space Circus"

Television Presenter: So, you were saying, the vase?
Mr. Winkleman: Yes, well, it's a family heirloom, which I think dates from 1760s.
Television Presenter: Well that's fascinating, and I'd just like to point out to viewers that it's only through the magic of television that they can actually see us looking at this vase and describing it to them.

— The first ever BBC broadcast, That Mitchell and Webb Look

Web Animation

They then tried a bunch of other clubs but they sucked at all of them

— Supermarioglitchy4's Super Mario 64 Bloopers, "Mario School Club"

Western Animation

Danny: What happened to my human half?
Vlad: Some things, my boy...are better left unsaid.

— Danny Phantom, "The Ultimate Enemy"

On works

Miscellanous

"The tape begins with Tony recording the intro on his balcony, and it falls apart in less than 10 seconds...he gets interrupted by a low-flying aircraft. Where a normal person would stop filming, he instead goes insane. He just starts incorporating it into his speech. He says, and I fucking quote, 'This is classified information. That's why we've got helicopters flying overhead.'

What the fucking what!? Is he out of his fucking mind, or does he think we are? He's recording a description of a concept on a VHS camcorder for retail market, and he's protecting it with helicopters!!! Why? No wait, How? ...He warns the viewer that people are using listening devices to get this information right at this very moment, but he has a SWAT team there to take care of it. I'm serious! This is not hyperbole for a comedy article! To be honest, I couldn't understand some of the SWAT team part because nearby traffic choppers beat nearby camcorder microphones every time. But he definitely said something that implied there was a SWAT team close by to protect the intellectual copyrights of his karate tape."

—Seanbaby, "5 Insane Fighting Manuals (You Probably Shouldn't Listen to)"

Literature

"I personally love that during the climactic scene where a giant squid attacks the station, they seemingly ran out of money (I can't confirm that) and they don't show the squid at all. That's like in King Kong if we had some onlookers going 'By George! That giant ape is climbing up the Empire State Building! Something should be done about it. Oh look, there are planes shooting it down aaaaaaannnnd yup. Dead.' It is a scene so embarrassing I almost feel ashamed and I didn't make this movie."

— Miles Antwiler on Sphere (1998)

Live-Action TV

Chris: Chris Hastings, the creator of The Adventures of Dr. McNinja, pointed out on Twitter that both Darkseid and Galactus, Jack Kirby's two most intimidating villains, have now been rendered in "live-action" as smoke monsters.
David: I never saw Fantastic Four 2, and I feel very grateful for that.

— Chris Sims and David Uzumeri on Smallville, "Lazarus"

"When mutant Paris breaks free of his restraints and runs amok in Engineering I could not believe the low budget way they suggested this bedlam with a couple of random phaser shots firing across a blank screen!''

— Joe Ford on Star Trek: Voyager, "Threshold"

Video Games

"The quickest possible description for it would be "poor man's Metal Gear Solid"....a terrorist group sets off an atmospheric EMP blast that shorts out all the world's electrics. Except for all the lights. And basically everything else. But it throws the entire world into chaos. No, really! We'd be happy to show you some of that chaos, but there's just no time!"''

—Zero Punctuation on Devil's Third

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