Quotes / Straw Character

Anime and Manga

"I OPPOSE EVERYTHING"

—Protester's placard in Dominion Tank Police

Comics Books

Alien 1: So this is he — The Reagan? A puny specimen, even for a human. Just like the defilers to worship such a one! Do you suppose ugliness is a virtue to them?
Alien 2: Or stupidity? Have you ever seen eyes so vacant?

— Aliens commenting on Ronald Reagan, Strontium Dog

Film

"Love your neighbors. Oh, sure, love your neighbors. If they're real Americans."

—Rush Gingbaw, Jack-O

Live Action TV

"Do you wanna see the American Judicial System dragged through the muck? You wanna see our democratic institutions crumble at your feet? While the decadent East Coast liberal intelligencia score the biggest victory they've had since they stopped us from pushing the reds back" (draws his gun) "PAST THE 38th PARALLEL IN KOREA?!" (beat) "But I digress."

— Inspector Bert Felch, Night Court

Video Games

"I'll remind people that I have a great haircut, and under my stewardship Vice City has had, on average, 15% better weather than before, while crime rates only go up if you don't turn the graph upside down. Turn it upside down, and they have halved—Halved!—under me, Alex Shrub. Vote Shrub for president and you'll have a friendly face in the White House. A man you can trust. A local man who likes golf, and laughing, and photo opportunities at your store or place of business. Just send me a letter. I'll send you an automated, photocopied response."

—Congressman Alex Shrub, Pressing Issues (GTA Radio)

Web Animation

Hate a particular ideology? Make a strawman version of it and blow it way out of proportion. Genius! I bet no one has thought of that before.

— Terrible Writing Advice, DYSTOPIAS as it shows an image with the caption Welcome to the slave mines for people who voted independent.

Webcomics

Big Oil (thought bubble): If I let this guy stop the weather, people will stop dying. But oil is made of dead things. That means less oil.
Big Oil (aloud): beat it, hippie!

— Chainsaw Suit, "Disastorm" the movie arc.

Web Original

"He also served as the inspiration for a superhero, something few other pundits/convicted felons can claim. Unfortunately, that superhero, Edward "The Comedian" Blake from Alan Moore's Watchmen, was a sociopathic murderer, but it probably looks good on a résumé anyway."

—Rational Wiki on G. Gordon Liddy

"In many ways, The Man With The Golden Gun begins the theme of eco-friendly science being evil. You’ll notice a theme developing over the course of the series: Scaramanga’s clean and efficient means of solar power? Evil! Hugo Drax’s interest in plant biology? Evil! Stromberg’s fascination with marine biology? Evil! Colonel Moon’s solar-powered laser beam? Evil! Dominic Greene’s water conservation? Evil!"

—Darren Mooney on The Man with the Golden Gun

Chris: Their plan is to make the Daily Planet into a sensationalist tabloid that’ll bring in the money by pushing the world closer to the brink of nuclear war. I’m not kidding: This is actually Warfield’s business model.
David: I’d love to be at the story conference where they named him. “Well, he sees, like, the world as a field for war, right? War... field...”

—ComicsAlliance on Superman IV: The Quest for Peace

His master plan is to create a black hole that will suck up everything on earth and turn it into energy that will power the Negative Zone planet, on which he will then live, all alone. This seems extremely pointless, unless you buy the Alex Jones conspiracies and somehow assume that that's what all environmentalists secretly want.

—Luke Y. Thomspon, Topless Robot ("Fantastic Four Is Just As Bad (And Sometime Worse) As You Feared")

"Asuka really plays up the 'Ugly foreigner' aspect of her existence. Whining about how her room's too small, moaning about this and that... while Misato just chimes in 'The Japanese way is about being considerate of others'. I always thought the Japanese way was 'Don't shame your ancestors by getting caught looking as tentacle sex during your seven minute lunch break'."

—Christopher Kinsey on Neon Genesis Evangelion

"I'm not even going to pick up particularly on Tat Wood's suggestion that Ettis is intended as an analogue for Arthur Scargill, then effectively the second in command in the miners' union....In any case, if Wood is correct about this equivalence, the decision to have Ettis go mad and try to blow everyone up has to be ranked as the crassest political moment in Doctor Who since the pacifists all had to wear dresses."

—El Sandifer on "The Monster of Peladon"

Web Video

"My God! You'd be less subtle if you spray-painted 'I hate Bush' on your chest and went in front of the White House naked!"

— Linkara on Amazons Attack!

"I think Michael Moore is stupid! I think Bush is the best president! He is the best president because he has a dog!"

— Chip Cheezum, mocking Micheal Weiss during his Micheal Weiss Show MST/Retsuflash

Orion: I will not stand for this kind of humiliation!
Thrackerzod: Nobody is humiliating you.
Apple Bloom: Yeah, you're not being humiliated, Orion.
Thrackerzod: It's true... now you sound like an idiot.
Orion: Well now I'm being humiliated, and I will not stand for this kind of humiliation!

— Rainbow Dash Presents: "Captain Hook The Biker Gorilla", My Little Pony: The Mentally Advanced Series

Senator Armstrong: You Millennial leftists who never lived one day under nuclear threat can now reflect upon your woke sky!
Raiden: (gruff tone) What are you trying to say? (normal voice) No, like genuinely. Like, what the fuck does that mea—?
Armstrong: You made quite a non-binary fuss to save the world from intercontinental ballistic tweets!
Raiden: Do you know what "non-binary" means?
Armstrong: Ah, y'know, nanomachines!
Raiden: Hold on, hold on, I-I'm checking Twitter real quick.
(Raiden sees Dictionary.com's mocking response)
Raiden: (cracking up) You got ratio'd by the dictionary! How do you manage that, man? You're fifty!
Armstrong: Cancel culture strikes again!

— "Millennial Leftists" by Gianni Matragrano

Western Animation

"Oh my God! The dead have risen and they're voting Republican!"

— Bart Simpson, in "Sideshow Bob Roberts," on finding the tomb of a "registered voter" who died in 1909

"Tom, this is not just a women's issue. I'm a man, but if I got pregnant, would I put my life on hold for a child I didn't want? Yes, I would. And I can say that with confidence because I will never have to make that decision, so I'm unbiased."

— Reginald Rangoon III, Bojack Horseman, "Brrap Brrap Pew Pew"

Real Life

"Yes, the olden days Spanos were slave traders. Hoo boy. Jessie's white liberal guilt is something else, and she spends the episode literally begging Lisa to release “those centuries of repressed anger” on her by letting her buy Lisa's lunch, or carry her to the mall on her back like Master Blaster from Mad Max III."

— Stuart Millard on Saved by the Bell, So Excited, So Scared

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