"Them lawyers! They give me a good stiff pain, that's what they give me. Half the time I don't know what they're talkin' about. Objection sustained. Objection overruled. What's the big idea anyhow? You ain't heard me do any objectin', have you? Surely not! What's the idea of objectin'?"
— Zero, The Adding Machine
Governor Frontbottom: Now before I proceed to sentencing, are there any courtroom cliches we've forgotten?
Minogue: It's a lie! A damn stinking lie!
Frontbottom: Guards, scuffle awkwardly with that man!
Minogue: It's a lie! A damn stinking lie!
Frontbottom: Guards, scuffle awkwardly with that man!
"I feel comfortable using legal jargon in everyday life." [man passing by wolf whistles] [she gasps] "I object!"
— Elle Woods, Legally Blonde
Robert/Shawcroft: Is there anything else you'd like to add?
Dennis/McKennon: Yes, Your Honor. Some arrogant legal stuff and a line about [Jack] being right-handed that's important for the plot later.
(beat)
Robert/Shawcroft: My God, you're good.
— The Goes Wrong Show, A Trial To Watch
"All ri-"
[realises he is faced with a bunch of floating Pokemon who are physically unable to do so]
"Erm... I apologize... let me rephrase that. If you can rise, rise. If you cannot because of the physical limitations of your species, then ple- please remain where you are."
— SOSchip
Congressman: And this - you stole a nuclear submarine?
Black Hat: I plead the Third.
Congressman: You mean the Fifth?
Black Hat: No, the Third.
Congressman: You refuse to quarter troops in your house?
Black Hat: I have few principles, but I stick to them.
Black Hat: I plead the Third.
Congressman: You mean the Fifth?
Black Hat: No, the Third.
Congressman: You refuse to quarter troops in your house?
Black Hat: I have few principles, but I stick to them.
— xkcd
