"Here we are in a restaurant that's financially fucking screwed, and you're helping yourself to wine and a four course dinner!?"
"Ted, let me explain Revenue: it's like your embezzlement, but it's directed at customers."
— Dilbert
It's my way or the highway this Christmas at my bar.
I'll have to smash your kneecaps if you bastards touch my car!
I got the word that Santa has been stealing from the till,
I think that that right jolly old elf better make out his will!
I'll have to smash your kneecaps if you bastards touch my car!
I got the word that Santa has been stealing from the till,
I think that that right jolly old elf better make out his will!
— Mystery Science Theater 3000, "Let's Have a Patrick Swayze Christmas"
Leo: Just do what I do and steal money from the register when the boss ain't looking.
Hyde: Again, Leo, you are the boss.
Leo: And I'm not looking.
— That '70s Show, "Uncomfortable Ball Stuff"
"You gotta know that a guy who helps you steal, even if you take care of him real well, I mean, he's gonna steal a little bit extra for himself. Makes sense, don't it?"
— Casino
I've never considered myself a thief
But GM wouldn't miss just one little piece
Especially if I strung it out over several years
The first day I got me a fuel pump
And the next day I got me an engine and a trunk
Then I got me a transmission and all of the chrome
The little things I could get in my big lunchbox
Like nuts, an' bolts, and all four shocks
But the big stuff we snuck out in my buddy's mobile home
But GM wouldn't miss just one little piece
Especially if I strung it out over several years
The first day I got me a fuel pump
And the next day I got me an engine and a trunk
Then I got me a transmission and all of the chrome
The little things I could get in my big lunchbox
Like nuts, an' bolts, and all four shocks
But the big stuff we snuck out in my buddy's mobile home
— "One Piece at a Time", Johnny Cash
"That money was just resting in my account!"
— Father Ted, many times
