"It's a nonsensical argument if you think about it, 'I'm not racist; I've got black friends.' You might as well argue 'I'm not a murderer; some of my best friends are alive!' And if you try arguing 'I'm not a pedophile; some of my best friends are kids!' you'll probably make things worse for yourself."
—Sean Lock
"Nicholas Sparks can’t be an anti-Semitic homophobe, because an anti-Semitic homophobe would NEVER hire a gay Jew as his lawyer. Case ALMOST closed. That doesn’t wipe away the 'racist' claim. If Nicholas wants the case completely closed, he better hire himself a gay, black Jewish lawyer real quick."
—DListed
, "Nicholas Sparks Called Out as an Anti-Semetic [sic], Racist Homophobe in a Lawsuit"
, "Nicholas Sparks Called Out as an Anti-Semetic [sic], Racist Homophobe in a Lawsuit"Also, stop saying that you were friends with women! That's not a defense! Just because you're friends with one woman, doesn't mean you haven't been awful to another. That's like saying you're a vegetarian because you didn't eat your dog.
—Seth Meyers discussing the Brett Kavanaugh scandal, Late Night
"New Rule: If you find yourself prefacing more than half the things you say with, 'I'm not a racist, but...,' you're probably a racist."
—Bill Maher, Real Time with Bill Maher
"Niles, owning the CD of 'Ella sings Gershwin' does not qualify you as a soul brother!"
—Frasier, "Something About Dr. Mary"
"Just generally: even if you preface something that isn’t racist with 'this isn’t racist,' it will still sound racist. I’ll show you: if you said, 'A lot of people buy jeans at Old Navy' — totally fine. But if you said, 'A lot of people — and this isn’t racist, yeah, try it, try it anyway, this isn’t racist — but a lot of people buy jeans at Old Navy,' now that suddenly sounds like something that’s going to require about three pages of your Notes app."
"And I was an equal-opportunity offender, okay? I made jokes about everybody. And by the way, I'm the furthest thing from racist. My dentist was a black woman."
—Brent, The Good Place
