Quotes / Soapbox Sadie

"Do I hear the sound of butting in? It's gotta be little Lisa Simpson, Springfield's answer to a question no one asked!"

—Ned Flanders (having a really bad day), The Simpsons

Lisa: What position have you got for me?!
[all gasp]
Lisa: That's right! A girl wants to play football! How about that?!
Flanders: Well, that's super-duper, Lisa. In fact, we already have four girls on the team!
Lisa: [disappointed] You do?
Flanders: Uh huh. But we'd love to have ya on board!
Lisa: Well... football's not really my thing... After all, what civilized person would play a game with the skin of an innocent PIG?!
Flanders: Well, actually, Lisa, these balls are synthetic.
Janey: And for every ball we buy, a dollar goes to Amnesty International!
Lisa: [with tears in her eyes] I've gotta go! [runs off]

— The Simpsons

"You don't need to shout at us! No one is on the other side of this issue!"

—Usual reaction to Britta being Britta, Community

"Sounds like a case of someone-wants-to-use-fringe-politics-to-make-herself-interesting-but-doesn't-want-to-do-anything... -itis."

— Shirley to Britta, Community

"This is the most common of haters, and what most people picture when they picture hate mail. The Angsty Unfunner has spent too much time interacting on the Internet and has learned that thinking anything is funny is a sign of weakness... You probably won't be able to use this knowledge until you start your life as an Internet writer; I'm simply letting you know that people like PuddleOfAids are miserable black holes of joy even when they're in good moods."

—Seanbaby, "10 Speces of Angry Commenter You Encounter on the Web"

Vanessa: Where's your [Christmas] tree?
Ryan: Uh, in the forest, where it belongs. There's a word for chopping down a perfectly healthy tree: murder.
Mike: [points at Ryan's wooden coffee table] So, what's the word for this wooden table here? Suicide?

— Last Man Standing

Elena: Well, I'm going to start taking public transportation, you know, to help atone for the environmental devastation that my ancestors and their gas-guzzlers so cruelly left to this earth.
Lydia: Why does everything have to be a crusade that is also annoying?

— One Day at a Time (2017)

"Wow! What do you know? Jessica Cruz has an opinion! I’d ask you to share it with the group but, what’s the point? YOU'RE GONNA DO IT ANYWAY!"

— Karen Beecher (ALSO having a really bad day), DC Super Hero Girls (2019)

Q: How can you tell if someone's a vegan?
A: Oh, don't worry. They'll let you know.

— An old joke

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