I don't know, Big Bird. I think you are pretty sick. I am going to call the doctor. You might have to go to the hospital.
— Maria, Sesame Street ("Sesame Street goes to the Hospital")
Arthur Read: What did the vet say, Father?
David Read: Pal will have to stay here overnight!
*Arthur gasps in horror*
— Arthur, "Sick as a Dog"
Mr. Ratburn: (With hoarse voice) Mr. Hamey, I can't, do, the, class!
*Mr. Hamey closes the window.*
Mr. Hamey: Now, Ratburn. Speak up!
*Mr. Ratburn points to his throat*
Mr. Hamey: Ratburn, I hate to tell you this. But, I think you are losing your voice.
*Mr. Ratburn coughs*
Mr. Hamey: Okay, No matter what. I think you need to wait until you feel better. I will tell your students.
*At Ratburn's classroom*
Mr. Hamey: Children, I have some very bad news to tell you.
Buster: I think we are going to summer school, and I know it!
Mr. Hamey: Mr. Ratburn is ill. And he will be out for the rest of the week.
*Everybody cheers*
Mr. Hamey: You have time to do some homework while I arrange for your substitute teacher.
— Arthur, "Arthur's Substitute Teacher Trouble"
Good morning, students and faculty. If I could have your attention, please. As you may or may not know, Principal Campbell will not be here for the rest of the week, due to a throat infection. Leaving me, Assistant Principal Dunbar as the school's lone administrator for the next few days.
— Assistant Principal Dunbar from Adam Sandler's Assistant Principal's Big Day
Arthur Read: Pal, you are all better.
Vet: He is still quite unhealthy. He ate a lot of everything that a dog should not eat. What did he eat yesterday?
Arthur Read: Pancakes, and fruit gummy Halloween candy. Then he swallowed my sister Dora Winifred's chili dog.
Vet: Well, I have a book for you to read. It's about what dogs should eat to stay healthy. Maybe someday you should have a stomach check too.
*Scene morphs back to Arthur's house*
Arthur Read: I am sorry to blame you about making Pal sick.
Dora Winifred Read: What do you mean?
Arthur Read: Well, dogs' stomachs are different than ours.
— Arthur, The conclusion from "Sick as a Dog"
*As Arthur freaks out*
Jane Read: What is it?
David Read: What's wrong?
Dora Winifred Read: Arthur has polka-dots!
Arthur Read: What's wrong with me?
David Read: It's chicken pox!
Dora Winifred Read: Do you get it from chicken?
David Read: No; it's a childhood illness. I had it, your mother had it.
Jane Read: Let's see if Grandma Thora can come over. She knows all about chicken pox.
Dora Winifred Read: Does this mean Arthur can't come to the circus?
Jane Read: We will see.
Arthur Read: WHAT?!?
Jane Read: I am sorry. But, chicken pox is very contagious.
I know it's very hard, Sweetheart. But rule number 1 is No Scratching! You will get an infection.
— Grandma Thora Read: Arthur's Chicken Pox
Sofia: Maybe Brian Williams was wrong all along.
Elmo: (Ahem) Elmo Monster is proud to announce that some people are still sharing on Sesame Street. YAY!
Oscar: Heh-heh-heh! Well, I got some news to tell you. There won't be much sharing going on for long. In case you have not noticed, there is a whole lot of Mine-Itis going on.
Sofia and Elmo: Mine-Itis?!?
Oscar: Yes, It's a grouch sickness that makes everything in the world yours. And you don't want to share it.
Sofia: Mine-Itis, how come everybody is getting it?
Oscar: Well, it's just lucky I guess. (Looks with a binocular) Oh, what did I tell you, Maria is coming down with Mine-Itis right now. Look at her, she is getting wildly itchy.
Maria: (As she scratches her skin) Honey, I am starting to get wildly itchy.
Oscar: Look at that; now she's hopping up and down like a kangaroo.
*As Maria hops like a kangaroo*
Luis: Maria, why are hopping like a kangaroo?
Maria: I don't know!
Oscar: Now she is twirling.
Maria: (As she twirls) Anybody feel like twirling?
Sofia: I don't believe it!
Elmo: Maria!!!
Maria: MINE! (Takes all of Luis and Gabi's food away from them)
Sofia and Elmo: MINE-ITIS!
Oscar: What did I tell you?
Announcer: And now, here is Brian Williams for another Sesame Street Nightly News Update!
Brian Williams: This just in: Maria from Sesame Street has the case of Mine-Itis and is not sharing. I repeat another case has been confirmed.
A Grouch: MINE! (Takes Brian Williams' tie)
Brian Williams: Hey, that's my tie!
Sofia and Elmo: Mine-Itis!
Oscar: No, that's just a grouch who like to take things away from them!
A Grouch: MINE! (Grabs Brian Williams' microphone)
Brian Williams: Hey, give me back my microphone!
Announcer: That was Brian Williams' with the Sesame Street Nightly News Update!
—From the Sesame Street episode where everybody gets Mine-Itis.
Oscar: Hey nightly news face? Would you like my old worn out shoe?
Brian Williams: MINE! (Grabs the shoe and the pinging sounds)
Elmo: (sighs) It didn't work!
Brian Williams: Hey, I don't own this. I'll give it back to you.
Elmo: YAAAAAAAAY! Mr. Williams is cured.
Brian Williams: That's great! But why does my mouth smell like chocolate or fish?
Elmo: Maybe Mr. Williams does not want to know.
Brisn Williams: I better go brush my teeth.
—After Brian Williams' Mine-Itis is cured on Sesame Street.
Marsupilami: Well, Buddy Boy! I am no doctor, But something tells me you got a cold! (Puts on a doctor's headband) Open please!
*Maurice sticks out his dried tongue*
Marsupilami: Oooh, Doggy. Nice breath! Close, please!
*Maurice closes his mouth*
*Marsupilami wraps his tail on to Maurice's arm*
Marsupilami: Hmm! (As he pumps his tail like a blood pressure pumper and checking his watch) It might be safer to check your blood pressure! (Steam sounds) Looks normal! For you! Perhaps, We better check the old tick-tick ticker! (Uses his tail as a stethoscope and listens to Maurice's heartbeat) So what do you know, Coochy-Coochy-Coo! (Tickles Maurice with his tail as the stethoscope) HOUBA! Okay, Okay, Enough (Uses his tail as a pencil to write a note) Take 2 bananas and call me in the morning!
—Raw Toonage: In the Marsupilami short, Jungle Fever.
Pee-Wee Herman: OH NO! NOT MEKA-LEKA-HI MEKA-HINEY-ITIS! ANYTHING BUT MEKA-LEKA-HI, MEKA-HINEY-ITIS! Wait! What is Meka-Leka-Hi Meka-Hiney-Itis?
Dr. Jinga Janga: In laymen terms, He is suffering from Genie burnout!
—Pee-wee's Playhouse: Sick, Did somebody say Sick?
Kira: "What's wrong with him?"
Bashir: "He seems to be suffering from a form of aphasia. It's a perceptual dysfunction in which aural and visual stimuli are incorrectly processed by the brain. His actual thinking hasn't been affected, but he's incapable of expressing himself and understanding others."
O'Brien: "Victory strike limits frosted wake. Simple hesitation!"
—As O'Brien gets the aphasia virus in the Star Trek: Deep Space Nine episode "Babel"
Bashir: "Spontaneous development of aphasia is virtually impossible. Yet we saw Lieutenant Dax become aphasic before our eyes. This told me we are dealing with a disease that only mimics aphasia. So I ran a full neurosynaptic comparison of Dax and O'Brien, and I found this in the temporal lobes of both patients."
Sisko: "A virus?"
Bashir: "It imposes itself within the established synaptic pathways and then randomly reroutes them. For example, when I look at this, (holds up a tricorder), a occurs process in my brain which connects the stimulus to the word "tricorder". This virus disrupts that process."
Sisko: "I'd see a tricorder but I'd say something ridiculous like 'window'."
Bashir: "Exactly."
—The virus is discovered, Star Trek: Deep Space Nine, "Babel".
Doctor: "The Princess has got a...cold"
Princess: "Why is it called a cold when I feel hot?"
Doctor: "She has a temperature. She must go to bed."
Princess: "Before lunch?!"
Doctor: "And she must stay there. No getting up."
—Princess is diagnosed with a cold, Little Princess, "I Don't Want a Cold"
Princess: "I'm full pf cold, up to here."
Narrator: "That's very full."
Princess: "It blows out of my mouth and it runs out of my nose and it coughs out of my chest. So I must be nearly empty! I've got room for some yummy food!"
—Little Princess, "I Don't Want a Cold"
Princess: "I don't have the cold anymore. Puss has it now."
Doctor: "Cats can't catch people colds. The Princess is right: The cold is gone."
Maid: "I am pleased."
—Little Princess, the Princess gets better from "I Don't Want a Cold".
Oscar: "Look, here comes Cyranose de Berjerac. A pushover! He gets angry if you just say the word 'nose'."
Zoe: "He gets angry when you say, 'nose'? Well, what does he do?"
Oscar: (chuckles) "He goes 'You said, 'nose'!' and his nose goes 'swish, swish, swish' as he moves around."
Zoe: "Swish, swish, swish?"
Oscar: "Yeah."
(Cyranose enters and sneezes three times)
Zoe: "Uh-oh. I think he has a bad cold." (Cyranose blows his nose)
Cyranose: "Oh, good day. I have a bad cold."
Zoe: (nodding) "Mm-hmm."
Cyranose: "I am so stuffed-up, I cannot hear a thing! Yes, I cannot hear a thing!"
Oscar: "Now watch me say 'nose' and make him angry. Hey, Cyranose!"
Cyranose: "Speak louder. I cannot hear you."
Oscar: I see you have a cold in your nose."
Cyranose: "What?"
Oscar: "I said 'a cold in your nose'!"
Cyranose: "Cold in my toes?! Why do you say that? Why, this is silly!"
Zoe: "Yeah, this is silly!"
Oscar: "No, I said 'a cold in your nose'! Nose, nose, nose!"
Cyranose: "A cold in my clothes?! Why, my shoes are not running. My shirt is not stuffed!"
(Zoe laughs)
Oscar: "No, I said—not 'clothes', I said 'nose'! A cold in your nose!!"
Cyranose: "I cannot talk more. I have a cold in my nose."
—Sesame Street episode where Cyranose DeBergerac has a cold.
Alistair Cookie: And so ends our tale with great experiment. (To the sick rooster) Here, try medicated cookie. (Feeds the cookie to the rooster) Good. (To viewers) Join us next time for Monsterpiece Theatre. (To the sick rooster) HEY! HEY! Please, cover your beak! Thank you!
—Sesame Street in the end of the Monsterpiece Theatre sketch: The Sun Also Rises.
Celery: "Carrot, are you alright?"
Carrot: "I-I don't know. (sniff) I can't breathe through my nose, and I-I keep having these sudden face explosions!"
Celery: "Oh, dear. This is very alarming!"
—Ready Jet Go!'s "Endless Summer", where Carrot has a cold.
Being sick is the pits. I should know, because I'm sick right now. You can probably hear it in my disgusting nasally voice, and I probably shouldn't be recording a YouTube video right now, but you know what? Life stops for no-one, and I'm not gonna be left behin- *coughing fit* But for real, I was like, "I need to get started on the next video, but my voice sounds like I drowned in cheese graters... whatever."
— JaidenAnimations, Injuries & Being Sick
Hey, what's up, guys? Welcome back to Binging with Babish, where this week, I am sick and in quarantine. What are you gonna do?
— Andrew Rea, Binging with Babish, "Cold Cure from Kenan & Kel"
Félix: What happened? When did you start feeling sick?
Camilo: Since I woke up.
Félix: Like, before breakfast? Why didn't you say anything?
Camilo: I didn't want Mamá worrying about me. Or Abuela.
Félix: Listen, if there's something wrong, you need to tell someone immediately, and I'll deal with Abuela and your mother. You don't have to suffer to make others happy.
Camilo: Since I woke up.
Félix: Like, before breakfast? Why didn't you say anything?
Camilo: I didn't want Mamá worrying about me. Or Abuela.
Félix: Listen, if there's something wrong, you need to tell someone immediately, and I'll deal with Abuela and your mother. You don't have to suffer to make others happy.
— Reflections in a Cloudy Sky, where Camilo has a stomach infection
On Sunday morning, sad but true,
Miss Bindergarten got the flu.
"I'm aching and shaking right down to the bone.
Tomorrow I fear I shall have to stay home."
— Miss Bindergarten Stays Home from Kindergarten
