Dan: Ever since we were kids, my mom always made me walk Johnny to school first day every year, and every year, I'd walk him to the wrong school. Hehe! —Just 'cause.
Dr. Cox: Boy, that's a great story, really. And I'm sure you're just a horrible big brother.
Dan: [smiles in mock humility] Well...
Dr. Cox: Boy, that's a great story, really. And I'm sure you're just a horrible big brother.
Dan: [smiles in mock humility] Well...
— Scrubs, "My Brother, Where Art Thou?"
Even she, when she was with her sharpest tongue, had called him Loki Cowardson more often than not, drawing a chuckle from Fandral and a bemused head shake from Volstagg each time she had done so. Thor often told her to save her bite for the battlefield in such moments - for he was always as quick to shield his brother as he was to jab his own taunts. But, such was the way of siblings.
— Narration, "Steel in Your Hand
, a Thor fanfic
, a Thor fanficDante: [While pointing his gun at Vergil] I guess this is what they call a heartfelt family reunion.
Vergil: [Partly draws his katana] You got that right!
Vergil: [Partly draws his katana] You got that right!
Vergil: How many times have we fought?
Dante: Hard to say. It's the only memory I have of us since we were kids.
Mycroft: You’ve met him. How many friends do you imagine he has? I am the closest thing to a friend that Sherlock Holmes is capable of having.
John: And what’s that?
Mycroft: An enemy.
John: An enemy?
Mycroft: In his mind, certainly. If you were to ask him he’d probably say his archenemy. He does love to be dramatic.
Watson: Well, thank god you’re above all that.
John: And what’s that?
Mycroft: An enemy.
John: An enemy?
Mycroft: In his mind, certainly. If you were to ask him he’d probably say his archenemy. He does love to be dramatic.
Watson: Well, thank god you’re above all that.
— Sherlock, "A Study In Pink"
Hexadecimal: Me and Megabyte come from the same viral strain.
Bob: The same family?!?
Hexadecimal: Oh it's much worse than that I'm afraid. He's my brother hahahahaha!
Bob: But you're always trying to destroy each other.
Hexadecimal: Oh that's just sibling rivalry.
Bob: The same family?!?
Hexadecimal: Oh it's much worse than that I'm afraid. He's my brother hahahahaha!
Bob: But you're always trying to destroy each other.
Hexadecimal: Oh that's just sibling rivalry.
— ReBoot
Thor: [Mother] wouldn't want us to fight.
Loki: ...Well, she wouldn't exactly be shocked.
Loki: ...Well, she wouldn't exactly be shocked.
"There's no rule that brothers have to get along. Look what Cain did to Abel."
— Mike Trevelyan, Night of Error by Desmond Bagley.
Stocking: You always have to fuck up everything don't you?! This is my room, yours looks like a hoarder's asshole exploded. Look at your toilet, look at your bathtub, look at what you put in your mouth and I'm not just talking about dick! You're nothing but a filthy ho-bagging thief!
Panty: Remember when I told you to relax, you need some inner fucking peace.
Stocking: I do not understand how I can ever be related to you.
Panty: Try these, I'll let you steal some of my food if it makes you feel better, we cool? [Stocking slaps it out of her hand] Look hooker I'm trying to be fucking nice here.
Stocking: You know I don't like spicy food.
Panty: You do realize that if you're going to eat sweet shit you'll end up as a Fatty Mc Fatterson.
Stocking: Well here's the news flash Flatty Mc Flatterson. All the weight I gain goes straight to my boobs and I am okay with that.
Panty: Yeah and your nipples are the size of dinner plates, mine are small, fierce and oh god are they sensitive.
Stocking: Like I freak out over your titters, I say titters because your boobs are so small they actually make me laugh.
Panty: Yeah that's cool, your tits keep you from looking like a little girl I get it. Then when he gives you candy you won't feel like you'll be hooking up with a pedophile.
Stocking: You mean like that idiotic muscle-head piece of shit you keep on the back burner? Oh by the way, I diddled him. I diddled him real hard and he said I was the best FUCK he had ever had, way better than you! Not that he should procreate but I would totally have his abortion.
Panty: And I fucked that masochistic freak you like so much, he was tying me in up, so heads up, Buttercup. His fat ass was all jiggly, just like your fancy pudding and giant skin sacks. KEEP YOUR MOUTH OFF MY THINGS!
Stocking: LIKEWISE BITCH!
Panty: Remember when I told you to relax, you need some inner fucking peace.
Stocking: I do not understand how I can ever be related to you.
Panty: Try these, I'll let you steal some of my food if it makes you feel better, we cool? [Stocking slaps it out of her hand] Look hooker I'm trying to be fucking nice here.
Stocking: You know I don't like spicy food.
Panty: You do realize that if you're going to eat sweet shit you'll end up as a Fatty Mc Fatterson.
Stocking: Well here's the news flash Flatty Mc Flatterson. All the weight I gain goes straight to my boobs and I am okay with that.
Panty: Yeah and your nipples are the size of dinner plates, mine are small, fierce and oh god are they sensitive.
Stocking: Like I freak out over your titters, I say titters because your boobs are so small they actually make me laugh.
Panty: Yeah that's cool, your tits keep you from looking like a little girl I get it. Then when he gives you candy you won't feel like you'll be hooking up with a pedophile.
Stocking: You mean like that idiotic muscle-head piece of shit you keep on the back burner? Oh by the way, I diddled him. I diddled him real hard and he said I was the best FUCK he had ever had, way better than you! Not that he should procreate but I would totally have his abortion.
Panty: And I fucked that masochistic freak you like so much, he was tying me in up, so heads up, Buttercup. His fat ass was all jiggly, just like your fancy pudding and giant skin sacks. KEEP YOUR MOUTH OFF MY THINGS!
Stocking: LIKEWISE BITCH!
Alan: Judith's sister is hitting on me!
Charlie: She's not hitting on you, she's hitting on her sister's ex-husband.
Alan: ...But that's me!
Charlie: She's not hitting on you, she's hitting on her sister's ex-husband.
Alan: ...But that's me!
Freeza: We're here to make this your last Freeza Day on Earth!
Cooler: Seriously, it's always got to be about you, doesn't it?
Freeza: Well, that is what father said.
Cooler: He also said he loved us both equally.
Freeza: Well, you know how fond father was of jokes!
Cooler: And that's why he had you second, punchline!
Cooler: Seriously, it's always got to be about you, doesn't it?
Freeza: Well, that is what father said.
Cooler: He also said he loved us both equally.
Freeza: Well, you know how fond father was of jokes!
Cooler: And that's why he had you second, punchline!
Professor Utonium: [watching his daughters fight] And I wanted girls. What the hell was I thinking?
Ben: Wow. Kinda makes me glad all my kids flew off to deep space.
Professor Utonium: Quit bragging.
Ben: Wow. Kinda makes me glad all my kids flew off to deep space.
Professor Utonium: Quit bragging.
Growing up as the youngest child meant Annie's idea of "sharing" was "someone knocks you down and takes your stuff away," and she didn't do it very well.
—Sarah Zellaby, Calculated Risks
"Doubtless you've heard the ancient phrase 'trust him like a brother'? These two give the phrase an entirely new subtext. Blood will be shed before their private war is over. If you get between them, that blood will be yours."
— Yanich Kobal, Emperor: Battle for Dune
"Look at those two. They can't go two minutes without fighting! (sighs) That's what Arthur and I will be like forever!"
— D.W. on Tommy and Timmy, Arthur ("Arthur's Family Feud")
"Brothers and sisters are natural enemies. Like Englishmen and Scots. Or Welshmen and Scots. Or Japanese and Scots! Or Scots and other Scots! Damned Scots! They ruined Scotland!"
— Groundskeeper Willy, The Simpsons
Kazuto: Hey... you uh, in there?
Suguha: (muffled) Go away!
Kazuto: Cool. Cool. (clears throat) So? This may come as a shock to you but, uh, I got a couple questions rattling around in the old dome. If you'll indulge me. Like... what's going on here? Did you know it was me the entire time? And since when do you even ''play'' video games? I thought you said that was and I quote, "Stupid nerd shit!" Did, did you go out and buy an amusphere just to fuck with me? You were at the hospital! You can't possibly still think she's not real! Was all of this some elaborate prank? Or are you just so cruel that you can never let me be happy? Do you really hate me that much?
Suguha: ((growls) (door opens) How could I hate you!?! I don't... I don't even know you anymore! You just left me; you left me all alone... We used to be best friends... I wanted to be just like you... so... when Grandpa wanted to teach you Kendo, it made me want to learn too.
Kazuto: K-Kendo? What does Kendo have to do with-
Suguha: Grandpa never wanted to train me! He was only ever interested in his grandson! So, when you got bored and ditched me to go work on your dumb computers I had to man up for you! He did everything he could to get me to quit; to prove I wasn't good enough! but I hung in there hoping you'd come back so we could be like we were. I tried to make it seem fun so you'd realize what you were missing but you just shut me out! All you cared about were those stupid games.
Kazuto: Hey, come on, that's not fair. It was Mom's idea to have me learn coding instead.
Suguha: OH DON'T GIVE ME THAT BULLSHIT! You didn't even try to fight her on it! These last couple of days all I've seen you do is fight for what you care about!... So what... was it me? Was I just not worth the effort? We used to be so close... but maybe that was all in my head. So how dare you accuse me of hating you WHEN YOU CLEARLY NEVER GAVE A SHIT ABOUT ME!!! Beat (gasp)
Kazuto: (on brink of tears) I... had no idea.
Suguha: ... Just leave me alone. You've had enough practice. (door shuts as Kazuto stands in empty hallway)
Suguha: (muffled) Go away!
Kazuto: Cool. Cool. (clears throat) So? This may come as a shock to you but, uh, I got a couple questions rattling around in the old dome. If you'll indulge me. Like... what's going on here? Did you know it was me the entire time? And since when do you even ''play'' video games? I thought you said that was and I quote, "Stupid nerd shit!" Did, did you go out and buy an amusphere just to fuck with me? You were at the hospital! You can't possibly still think she's not real! Was all of this some elaborate prank? Or are you just so cruel that you can never let me be happy? Do you really hate me that much?
Suguha: ((growls) (door opens) How could I hate you!?! I don't... I don't even know you anymore! You just left me; you left me all alone... We used to be best friends... I wanted to be just like you... so... when Grandpa wanted to teach you Kendo, it made me want to learn too.
Kazuto: K-Kendo? What does Kendo have to do with-
Suguha: Grandpa never wanted to train me! He was only ever interested in his grandson! So, when you got bored and ditched me to go work on your dumb computers I had to man up for you! He did everything he could to get me to quit; to prove I wasn't good enough! but I hung in there hoping you'd come back so we could be like we were. I tried to make it seem fun so you'd realize what you were missing but you just shut me out! All you cared about were those stupid games.
Kazuto: Hey, come on, that's not fair. It was Mom's idea to have me learn coding instead.
Suguha: OH DON'T GIVE ME THAT BULLSHIT! You didn't even try to fight her on it! These last couple of days all I've seen you do is fight for what you care about!... So what... was it me? Was I just not worth the effort? We used to be so close... but maybe that was all in my head. So how dare you accuse me of hating you WHEN YOU CLEARLY NEVER GAVE A SHIT ABOUT ME!!! Beat (gasp)
Kazuto: (on brink of tears) I... had no idea.
Suguha: ... Just leave me alone. You've had enough practice. (door shuts as Kazuto stands in empty hallway)
— Kazuto and Suguha, Sword Art Online Abridged "Episode 17"
