Quotes / Screwed by the Lawyers

"For a while there was also a very popular Web site set up by college students wishing to determine what happens to Twinkies when they are heated with torches, dropped from tall buildings, etc., but when I tried to check it out, it had been closed down by lawyers. Perhaps by the time you read this book, it will be back in operation again. Or perhaps the entire Internet will have been closed down by lawyers. Or perhaps college students will have started dropping lawyers from tall buildings. You never know with the future."

— Dave Barry in Cyberspace

"Your face look like Patrick, video go down."

— Joke about obsessive copyright takedowns in the Youtube Poop community.

"Hey, Russel! You didn't create that video, you just copied someone else's content. Uploading someone else's content without permission could get you into a lot of trouble. It may be... COPYRIGHT INFRINGEMENT! Copyright is a form of protection for original works of authorship, including literary, dramatic, musical, graphic and audiovisual creations. Copyright infringement occurs when a copyrighted work is reproduced, distributed, performed, or publicly displayed without the permission of the copyright owner or the legal right to do so. Even though YouTube is a free site, you can get into serious trouble for copyright infringement. You can be sued and found liable for monetary damages. You could lose your booty or worse: you could lose your YouTube account. You only get a few chances. If YouTube receives a valid notification of alleged copyright infringement from a Copyright holder for one of your videos, the video will be removed in accordance to the law. You'll be notified via e-mail and in your account, and you'll get a strike. If YouTube finds you're a repeat offender, you'll get banned for life!"

— Narrator, Happy Tree Friends: YouTube Copyright School, This message appears when a user gets copyright strike and has been forced to watch it and take trivia questions about copyright.

The Lawyer (Marc Evan Jackson): HEY! STOP THE AUDIO! SHUT IT DOWN, NOW!
The Wood Carver (Nick Offerman): But why, Who the hell are you?!?
The Lawyer: I am an intellectual property attorney and you have stolen my client's melody.

— Nick Offerman: The American Ham.

Pinkie Pie: B-But what about my ridiculously ambitious fan - project?
Rarity: My artwork was only a little saucy!
Twilight Sparkle: I made crossovers with 71 other fandoms! Was it one too much?

— Canterlot Siege

"I would try to use some background music on this show, But sometimes I have been told 'YOU CAN'T USE THAT, YOU DON'T THE RIGHTS!'"

— John Stossel, The Copyright War.

"Unfortunately, we will never be able to see Doki Doki Panic release on the Wii U or 3DS Virtual Console. Because Fuji Television holds the rights to the characters, while the rest of them are Nintendo."

— Norman Caruso, The Gaming Historian, "The Story of Super Mario Bros. 2"

Announcer: Time Warner Cable has dropped your favorite channels and shows.
Eric Cartman: What?!?
Announcer: That means, no Nickelodeon...
SpongeBob: NOOOOOOOOOO!
Announcer: No MTV...
Lauren Conrad: I'm really, really upset right now.
Announcer: No Comedy Central...
Stephen Colbert: Ooh, that makes me so ANGRY!
Announcer: No VH1, no Spike TV, no Noggin, and no TV Land. You lost nineteen of your favorite channels!
Dora Marquez: Oh no!
Announcer: Call Time Warner Cable now, and say...
SpongeBob: No!
Lauren: NO!
Colbert: NOOOOOO!
Cartman: NOOOOOO!
Announcer: Demand that they put those channels back on the air. Call us at (1-800)-892-4357.

—2008 television ad on Viacom's disputes with Time Warner Cable

Carol Costello: If you want to start your New Year's eve by watching The Daily Show with Jonathan Stewart, It may not be very easy if you have Time Warner Cable.
Katrina Pierson: Yeah, Look at how serious Viacom is. Yeah, I went Christmas shopping and I found this poster ad on the directory map in the mall, And the message reads "Why are Dora and Boots crying over?" and they are referring to the popular preschooler show: Dora the Explorer.
Carol Costello: Yeah, I am very sure my children will be crying if the show gets taken off.
Katrina Pierson: And my 2 year olds are going to be shocked without Dora and Diego. Well, Anyways, Here is the story about the contract. You see, Time Warner Cable's contract to carry Viacom's networks, including Nickelodeon, as well as MTV, Comedy Central, Showtime, CBS, and many others expires on December 31st. And they said, If they can't negotiate with them, Viacom will pull their channels, and their on demand programs off of Time Warner Cable's local system.

—HLN report on Viacom having negotiation problems with Time Warner Cable mentioned above.

"THIS... THIS IS WHAT YOU DO ON YOUTUBE???!!!"

—Angry Joe after his Mario Kart 8 walkthrough is struck with a copyright claim.

"If people are watching this video, they already know. Since the only time most people watch this is when they got hit with a copyright strike and they don't already have the knowledge to begin with."

—The Mysterious Mr. Enter on his rant video about HTF Youtube Copyright Lawsuit School

You used to think that it was so easy
You used to say that it was so easy
But you're tryin', you're tryin' now
Another year and then you'd be happy
Just one more year and then you'd be happy
But you're cryin', you're cryin' now

— Gerry Rafferty, "Baker Street"

Why aren’t there anymore
Movies about Jason
The last one was in ‘O Nine
We just get fan films
And cool music videos^note GO WATCH COMMON SHINER’S SOCIAL MEDIASOCHIST
But none in the real timeline
Oh I’ve been told bout an ongoing lawsuit
To see who the rights owner will be
Someday they’ll fix it
This dumb legal action
The lawyers, Victor Miller, and S.C.
That stands for Sean Cunningham
The producer who helped make these films

— Zordan, Friday the 13th Part III | THEY TALK!

"About "the one replaced by Nameless"^note K9999, you can't talk about him at SNK at all, even if anyone wishes, for legal reasons. He claims it is safe to say that from now on, in any SNK game, he will never return."

— Team Power Geyser, paraphrasing SNK community manager Krispy Kaiser^note But after all, "I had to keep the lie going for years."

"At one point in the game like you're travelling around this- a level I believe we called 'Marrow Caverns' with a decapitated space pirate's head on a stick. And uh, he would walk around and he would talk as you walk around from room to room, and I thought it would be funny if he just sang 'I'm a Little Teapot' in order to open one of the doors. It was just one of those dumb, funny jokes that you throw in without thinking a lot about it...It turns out someone actually owns the rights to 'I'm a Little Teapot'. And that person has lawyers. So uh, they got involved and that actually became ''Teapotgate'. So the bonus tip here is don't ever assume that a nusery rhyme is public domain."

— T.J. Fixman, describing an incident regarding Ratchet & Clank Future: Quest for Booty

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