Quotes / Screw the Rules, I Have Connections!

Fan Works

Now, if a random kid barged into the Hyuga Compound, he would be swiftly kicked out by the Branch House members that guarded its gate. And if Naruto tried to do that a couple years ago, the wouldn't even let him get close to the place.

But when your mother has saved the wife of the Clan Head from certain death... well, let's say that the Hyugas start to show you some respect.

— Son of the Sannin

Gendo Ikari: "Out of twelve attackers, eleven were killed. The one that was taken alive, who, incidentally, was also the force's commander, is currently undergoing interrogation. Should he survive, he shall be turned over to the U.N for trial and sentencing. They have been tentatively identified as American in nationality, although as of yet there is no evidence linking their actions the United States government of military."
Seele 12: (icy) "'Should he survive?' There are rules for the treatment of prisoners that the U.N. abides by."
Gendo Ikari: (grinning) "NERV security does not have to answer to U.N. protocols. Treatment of prisoners is whatever NERV deems fit."

— The Gospel Of Malachel

Film — Live-Action

"You can't do a goddamn thing to me Hartigan! You know who I am! You know who my father is! You can't touch me, you piece of shit cop!"

—Roark Junior, Sin City

Le Chiffre: 'Cause even after I slaughtered you and your little girlfriend, your people would still welcome me with open arms! Because they need what I know.
James Bond: The "big picture."

— Casino Royale (2006)

Bank: This town might have changed, but not me. I know people highly invested in my survival, and they are people who really know how to hurt in ways you can't even imagine.
Danny: Well, I know all the guys that you'd hire to come after me, and they like me better than you.

— Ocean's Thirteen

Gloria Perez: What about asking her to take a polygraph?
Detective Ray Duquette: What about asking the Pope to take a piss test? This is Blue Bay, Gloria. You ask a Van Ryan to take a lie detector test and Tom Baxter'll cut you off at the knees.

—Wild Things

"Your father practically owns the company. You can do anything you like, silly."

—Evelyn Williams to Patrick Bateman, American Psycho

Gordon Pibb: (brandishing the rulebook) Wait a minute— wait wait wait a minute! How can you be entered in the Las Vegas Open? You didn't even win a regional qualifying match!

White Goodman: (mockingly) Oh my God, we never even won a regional qualifying match! Oh yeah, now I remember: the Dodgeball Chancellor's an extremely personal friend of mine, and I helped him shed some unwanted poundage before beach season. So you can close your little rulebook on that one, Poindexter.

—DodgeBall: A True Underdog Story

Literature

Its Old Boy's network spread through the upper echelons of British society like a great unseen web, permitting only its favoured sons to trip lightly across its strands on the way to wealth and glory, while trapping those less worthy of ascension and draining them of hope and ambition. Their hollow forms littered the hallways of the Civil Service, the Foreign Office, and the lower echelons of the foremost institutions in the land, an object lesson in the power of good breeding and better connections.

—The Ritual Of The Bones

I guess the real roadblock, though, was Louis Jones. Jeff's older brother was a pretty proficient player for our basketball team, the Haymakers. It was named long ago, by a farming community who didn't consider of the secondary definition of the word.

Students wanted to stay on the good side of Louis and his clique. Teachers knew that the majority of the school's budget actually came from sporting events. Local authorities... well, the information would never make its way up to them, so I guess they can't be blamed. Jeff could do pretty much anything he wanted, short of murder, and he knew there would be no real repercussions.

Punishing Jeff would be distraction for Louis. We couldn't have that, could we?

—Randy, JTK by Slimebeast

Dr. Taza read everything but his medical literature, which he admitted he could not understand. He had passed his medical exams through the good offices of the most important Mafia chief in Sicily who had made a special trip to Palermo to confer with Taza's professors about what grades they should give him.

And this too showed how the Mafia in Sicily was cancerous to the society it inhabited. Merit meant nothing. Talent meant nothing. Work meant nothing. The Mafia Godfather gave you your profession as a gift.

—The Godfather

Live-Action TV

"Made him an officer, just like that. That's the difference between his name and mine: his opens doors, mine closes them."

— General Martok, Star Trek: Deep Space Nine ("Once More Into the Breach")

"Spend enough time in international hotspots, and you learn that a lot of the worst monsters on earth are just spoiled rich kids. Mass murderers come in many shapes and sizes, but they tend to drink the same brands of champagne."

— Burn Notice, "Truth and Reconciliation"

"I'll weather this, I always do. My brother's a police chief, I got connections, they'll get me through. And when I get proof, and the others find out what you've done? Maybe we come pay you a visit, maybe (is gunned down mid-sentence)"

— Juan Bolsa, Breaking Bad ("I See You")

Holt: Something wrong?
Jake: Kinda, yeah. I called six precincts about this kid. He’s been brought in a dozen times. Theft, vandalism, drunken disorderly, but he’s never been processed. His daddy comes in and bails him out every time. He’s a lucky little jerk.
Holt: No, I wouldn’t say he was lucky. I feel bad for this kid. I mean, what kind of father cares so little for his son that he lets him get away with everything?

— Brooklyn Nine-Nine, The Tagger

Cordelia: Xander, I know you take pride in being the voice of the common wuss, but the truth is, certain people are entitled to special privileges. They're called winners. That's the way the world works.
Xander: And what about that nutty "all men are created equal" thing?
Cordelia: Propaganda spouted out by the ugly and less deserving.

— Buffy the Vampire Slayer, "Go Fish"

O'Neill: Your former associates are why I'm here. They're causing some problems for a friend of mine.
Maybourne: General Hammond.
O'Neill: What do you know?
Maybourne: Why should I tell you?
O'Neill: Because I can help you.
Maybourne: I've been convicted of treason. What can you do?
O'Neill: Air Force One and I go way back.

— Stargate SG-1, "Chain Reaction"

Music

The law don't mean shit if you got the right friends
That's how this country's run
I fought the law and I won
I fought the law and I won.

— Dead Kennedys, "I Fought the Law",

To be famous is so nice
Suck my dick, kiss my ass
In limousines, we have sex
Every night with my famous friends

— Frank Sinatra, "Miss Kittin & The Hacker"

Hey've got all the right friends in all the wrong places
So yeah, we're going down
They've got all the right moves and all the wrong faces
So yeah, we're going down

— OneRepublic, "All the Right Moves"

Theatre

Roy Cohn: "Homosexuals" are men who, in 15 years of trying, cannot pass a pissant anti-discrimination bill through City Council. Homosexuals are men who know nobody, and who nobody knows. Who have zero clout. Does this sound like me, Henry?
Henry: No.
Cohn: No. I have clout. Lots. I pick up that phone, dial 15 numbers, and guess who's on the other end of the line? In under five minutes, Henry.
Henry: The President?
Cohn: Better, Henry! His wife.
Henry: I'm impressed.
Cohn: I don't want you to be impressed. I want you to understand. This is not sophistry, and this is not hypocrisy. This is reality. I have sex with men; but, unlike nearly every other man of which this is true, I bring the guy I'm screwing to the White House, and President Reagan smiles at us and shakes his hand.

— Angels in America

Video Games

"Alfred Woden had kept his word. With his influence, ridiculously, I had emerged from my history of violence unscathed, a hero. I didn't thank him. I couldn't stomach it."

— Max Payne 2: The Fall of Max Payne

"If I had some connections, I could just waltz right in, but I'm just a regular joe."

— An unnamed boy in Twoson, EarthBound (1994)

"Don't worry, Sweet's just fine. He gets touched, a prison guard goes home and finds that his wife and kids have been murdered. Everything's under control."

— Mike Toreno, Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas

Visual Novels

Teri: Gotta ask, Phil. Who the hell hired you?
Phil: My dad owns the network. I'm never getting fired.

Platinum

Web Original

Of course, being a remote destruction kind of guy he wouldn't be directly involved in the bloodshed, and if the strategy failed his rich parents could bail him out (they eventually did).

— Rational Wiki on Weather Underground co-founder Bill Ayers

I can’t wait to use it when the cashier at CVS tells me my card has been declined again. “I am a Kennedy. My last name means ‘Kennedy’ in Japanese. Google me. If you don’t give me my stuff, the governor will be calling.”''

— Michael K., "Google Me, You Dumb Fuck"

Ray Rice: The act of hitting one's girlfriend or fiancée excessively. This will be followed by a bruised face and negative press, but don't worry you'll only get suspended for 2 games. (If you smoke one pot, expect to miss the rest of the season.)

— Urban Dictionary

The Patriots direct deposit hundreds of thousands of dollars into a quadruple murderer's checking account every two weeks.

— Deadspin, "Why Your Team Sucks 2014!: New England Patriots"

If he were fired tomorrow, would you miss him at all? You probably wouldn't even notice him until he knocked up your niece...But for whatever reason, network brass seems more interested in serving as a moose lodge for grinning NFL castoffs than they are in serving you, the viewer. There was one person last night who seemed genuinely aware that there was an audience to please, and that was Beyoncé. Maybe she should host the goddamn thing from now on.

— Drew Magary on Dan Marino, "It Took A Blackout To Show You How Truly Useless NFL Broadcasters Are. Let's Blow Up The Studio."

Manager: You know what, you're not working out.
Employee: Excuse me? Don't you know who I am!? Uncle Rich, he thinks he can fire me!
Assistant Manager: Well, he's my boss too, so he can. By the way, you're fired!

— Not Always Working, "A Family Af-fire".

Western Animation

Dean Preston: I'm sorry, boys, I — I've never expelled anyone before, but... that pig had some powerful friends.
Richard Nixon: Oh, you'll pay! Don't think you won't pay!

— The nerds get punished for abusing a college mascot, The Simpsons

Real Life

"You know, I could run for governor and all this but I'm basically a media creation. I've never really done anything. I've worked for my dad. I worked in the oil industry. But that's not the kind of profile you have to have to get elected to public office."

—George W. Bush in 1989

"What is troubling is that I pitched that 'Black Book' to every major magazine in New York and none of them would touch it. So that was frustrating for me. I had so much evidence at that point, I had police reports. I had everything and I still couldn’t get anybody to touch it."

—Nick Bryant on Jeffrey Epstein's rolodex of sex tourists

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