"What's Wrong, Lady?"
"(Sobbing) Our orphanage needs repair and we don't have any money! And it we don't the pay the rent in 30 days, We lose everything!"
"Don't worry, We will get the money!"
Patrick: We saved the rec center!
Squidward: What rec center?
— SpongeBob SquarePants, "Sharks vs. Pods"
At the heart of it, The Goonies has the same hackneyed plot you've seen a million times before, half of which are the complete library of Muppet movies, where Mr. Generic Rich Jerk, CEO of One-Dimensional VillainCorp is forcibly stealing the beloved hovels from a bunch of noble slobs so he can build a mall/golf course/country club on it, and the gallant wretches have to find a way to stop him. You know, I've never understood why land that's beyond worthless, which is why all these poverty-stricken slobs live there in the first place, is in such high demand in these movies. Why would a rich guy even want to put his expensive, upmarket establishment in a slum? Also, how is it that these villains are somehow always able to strong-arm people out of their own property? If you're just a random homeowner in the burbs, Elon Musk doesn't get to just swoop in and say "Mine now, suckers!" no matter how many spaceship factories he'd like to build on top of your house.
