"All I asked for was equality and independence. A rotating chairmanship might have been the answer."
— D.J. Enright, Lucifer Broods
Dey tell all you chillun
De debble's a villun,
But 'tain't necessarily so.
De debble's a villun,
But 'tain't necessarily so.
—Porgy and Bess, "It Ain't Necessarily So"
Satan: You have summoned The Prince of Temptation for what purpose?
Stan: Oh Shit. Um. I have addiction demons, and I don't understand them.
Satan: Than allow me to explain the darkness of The Human Soul... So, you've got Dopamine right? That's the chemical that gets released in your brain whenever you do something pleasurable: like eating and sex, and that's just nature. You know like Rabbits and Fish and shit. They need Dopamine so that they want to consume and reproduce.
Stan: Okay.
Satan: But because Humans have progressed and now have access to all the shit they want whenever they want it, it's easy for them to overdo and have Dopamine problems.You know, it's not fucking Rocket Science this stuff.
Stan: So, there's nothing spiritually wrong with me?
Satan: Fuck no! It's like, okay: it's like being Diabetic. You know, it's like you can eat wrong and eat wrong and chemicals get released from your liver in a weird way, you know like if you've been eating Gluten and shit. And eventually you've got a chemical imbalance from your Liver. Then something clicked, and now you're Diabetic forever. Right? So if you keep doing something too much, eventually there's um... a "Dopamine Fuck-Up", and you're kinda screwed up for life.
Stan: So what does that mean, I can get addicted to everything so I can't enjoy anything?
Satan: Yeah, that's pretty much what it means.
Stan: The addiction people said something about me filling a hole.
Satan: Well who's not filling a fucking hole. Right? I mean, what kind of bullshit is that? So, lets' talk about genetics now, do you still have time?
Stan: Yeah no, this is great.
Satan: Okay so let me get some visual aids, give me just a sec... (cuts to Satan holding a whiteboard) So basically the genes you got from your Dad make you more likely to have trouble with Dopamine regulation, and that's why you need to watch out for addictive stuff. Okay, so we kinda understand now champ?
Stan: I guess so, but why do companies have to put so many addictive things out there?
Satan: You know, they all do it and it's kinda my deal: I've got to put temptation out there too, so people have Free Will and all that shit. But you know everyone has their justification and thinks what they are doing is okay.
Stan: Oh Shit. Um. I have addiction demons, and I don't understand them.
Satan: Than allow me to explain the darkness of The Human Soul... So, you've got Dopamine right? That's the chemical that gets released in your brain whenever you do something pleasurable: like eating and sex, and that's just nature. You know like Rabbits and Fish and shit. They need Dopamine so that they want to consume and reproduce.
Stan: Okay.
Satan: But because Humans have progressed and now have access to all the shit they want whenever they want it, it's easy for them to overdo and have Dopamine problems.You know, it's not fucking Rocket Science this stuff.
Stan: So, there's nothing spiritually wrong with me?
Satan: Fuck no! It's like, okay: it's like being Diabetic. You know, it's like you can eat wrong and eat wrong and chemicals get released from your liver in a weird way, you know like if you've been eating Gluten and shit. And eventually you've got a chemical imbalance from your Liver. Then something clicked, and now you're Diabetic forever. Right? So if you keep doing something too much, eventually there's um... a "Dopamine Fuck-Up", and you're kinda screwed up for life.
Stan: So what does that mean, I can get addicted to everything so I can't enjoy anything?
Satan: Yeah, that's pretty much what it means.
Stan: The addiction people said something about me filling a hole.
Satan: Well who's not filling a fucking hole. Right? I mean, what kind of bullshit is that? So, lets' talk about genetics now, do you still have time?
Stan: Yeah no, this is great.
Satan: Okay so let me get some visual aids, give me just a sec... (cuts to Satan holding a whiteboard) So basically the genes you got from your Dad make you more likely to have trouble with Dopamine regulation, and that's why you need to watch out for addictive stuff. Okay, so we kinda understand now champ?
Stan: I guess so, but why do companies have to put so many addictive things out there?
Satan: You know, they all do it and it's kinda my deal: I've got to put temptation out there too, so people have Free Will and all that shit. But you know everyone has their justification and thinks what they are doing is okay.
— South Park "Freemium Isn't Free"
Ig: In a lot of ways, I guess Satan was the first superhero.
Glenna: Don't you mean supervillain?
Ig: Nah. Hero, for sure. Think about it. In his first adventure, he took the form of a snake to free two prisoners being held naked in a Third World jungle prison by an all-powerful megalomaniac. At the same time, he broadened their diet and introduced them to their own sexuality. Sounds like a cross between Animal Man and Dr. Phil to me.
Glenna: Don't you mean supervillain?
Ig: Nah. Hero, for sure. Think about it. In his first adventure, he took the form of a snake to free two prisoners being held naked in a Third World jungle prison by an all-powerful megalomaniac. At the same time, he broadened their diet and introduced them to their own sexuality. Sounds like a cross between Animal Man and Dr. Phil to me.
— Horns
Dan Marino: I can't stand retirement. Come on, just let me win one Superbowl.
Satan: In exchange for eternal damnation of your soul? You're much too nice a guy for me to want to do that to you, Mr. Marino.
Marino: You did it for Namath!
Satan: Yeah, but Joe was coming here anyways.
Marino: This sucks. (storming off) I'll just go to the Superbowl as an announcer! And I'll win myself an Emmy!
Satan: That's the spirit!
Nicky: You're a good Devil, Dad.
Satan: And I also happen to be a Jets fan.
Satan: In exchange for eternal damnation of your soul? You're much too nice a guy for me to want to do that to you, Mr. Marino.
Marino: You did it for Namath!
Satan: Yeah, but Joe was coming here anyways.
Marino: This sucks. (storming off) I'll just go to the Superbowl as an announcer! And I'll win myself an Emmy!
Satan: That's the spirit!
Nicky: You're a good Devil, Dad.
Satan: And I also happen to be a Jets fan.
"I have nurtured every sensation man has been inspired to have! I cared about what he wanted and I never judged him! Why? Because I never rejected him, in spite of all his imperfections, I am a fan of MAN!!! ...I am a humanist, maybe the last humanist."
"Satan is good. Satan is my pal. Satan is good, Satan is my pal"
— Ghost's opinion on heavy metal bands.
I'm just like you, made by He
despised by They, I'm almost me
I'm nearly human, look at me!
I'm almost a human being!
despised by They, I'm almost me
I'm nearly human, look at me!
I'm almost a human being!
— Voltaire, Almost Human
"Satan is simply the warden of a very large prison. Quiet man actually, thoughtful and he's well read. And I happen to know the idea of sacrificing children in his honour annoys him greatly."
—The Accountant, Drive Angry
"FATHER, WHY ETERNAL TORMENT? IS IT NOT CRUEL?
IS TORTURE UNENDING TRULY A FATE FIT FOR A FOOL?"
IS TORTURE UNENDING TRULY A FATE FIT FOR A FOOL?"
—Lucifer, ULTRAKILL
