Announcer: Corrupted core, are you ready to start the procedure?
Wheatley: [deadpan] What do you think?
Announcer: Interpreting vague answer as "Yes".
Wheatley: [deadpan] What do you think?
Announcer: Interpreting vague answer as "Yes".
— Portal 2
"You know, just because I'm six, it doesn't mean I don't know sarcasm when I hear it."
— Calvin, Calvin & Hobbes: The Series, "Dark Laughter Part 1"
Drebin: Sergeant Frank Drebin, Detective Lieutenant, Police Squad.
Guard: Yeah, and I'm Robert De Niro.
Frank: Mr. De Niro, we've got to get inside.
Guard: Yeah, and I'm Robert De Niro.
Frank: Mr. De Niro, we've got to get inside.
"Sarcasm is a foreign language to you, isn't it?"
— Timon, The Lion King 1 ½
"Good gods, they can teach you how to detect Evil, but not sarcasm??"
— Lord Shojo, The Order of the Stick
Nigel: We'll be gone until after the eclipse. Will you be all right with Donnie?
Debbie: Are you kidding? This'll be the highlight of my young life!
Nigel: That's the spirit, poodles!
Debbie: Dad, have you completely lost your ability to recognize sarcasm?
Nigel: I'm not sure I ever had it, Deborah.
Debbie: Are you kidding? This'll be the highlight of my young life!
Nigel: That's the spirit, poodles!
Debbie: Dad, have you completely lost your ability to recognize sarcasm?
Nigel: I'm not sure I ever had it, Deborah.
"There needs to be a sarcasm font."
— A common internet response to people like this
Goku: Are...are you a Yoshi?
Piccolo: ...Yes, Goku! I'm a green f[bleep]cking dinosaur!
Goku: Can... Can I ride you?
Piccolo: [angrily growls]
[later]
Raditz: Now, disregarding the Namekian, I—
Goku: Ah ah, a Yoshi...
Piccolo: I'm not a goddamn Yoshi!
Goku: But you said you were!
Piccolo: It's called sarcasm!
Goku: What's that taste like?
Piccolo: DAMMIT, Goku!
Piccolo: ...Yes, Goku! I'm a green f[bleep]cking dinosaur!
Goku: Can... Can I ride you?
Piccolo: [angrily growls]
[later]
Raditz: Now, disregarding the Namekian, I—
Goku: Ah ah, a Yoshi...
Piccolo: I'm not a goddamn Yoshi!
Goku: But you said you were!
Piccolo: It's called sarcasm!
Goku: What's that taste like?
Piccolo: DAMMIT, Goku!
Goku: Are you okay in there?
Vegeta: Yeah, I'm fan-[bleep]-tastic. Nothing but gumdrops and ice cream here.
Goku: Oh, really? Can I come in too?
Vegeta: ...I'm Surrounded by Idiots.
Goku: I thought you were surrounded by gumdrops and ice cream!
Vegeta: GYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!
Vegeta: Yeah, I'm fan-[bleep]-tastic. Nothing but gumdrops and ice cream here.
Goku: Oh, really? Can I come in too?
Vegeta: ...I'm Surrounded by Idiots.
Goku: I thought you were surrounded by gumdrops and ice cream!
Vegeta: GYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!
Headmaster Hayden Montag: The architecture was exacting. A pattern, a focus, a tomb, a battery, stockpiling anima from many sources... not entirely willing sources. It would be politic to close the breaches before they emerge.
Annabel Usher: The first time you get bricked in is probably the worst time, eh?
Headmaster Hayden Montag: From my research, it seems that each time begins a claustrophobic eternity anew.
Annabel Usher: You're like the world's revenge on sarcasm, do you know that?
Annabel Usher: The first time you get bricked in is probably the worst time, eh?
Headmaster Hayden Montag: From my research, it seems that each time begins a claustrophobic eternity anew.
Annabel Usher: You're like the world's revenge on sarcasm, do you know that?
Homer: Apu hits the jackpot, and I'm stuck with these useless one-tuplets!
Bart: Gee, sorry for bein' born.
Homer: I've been waitin' so long to hear that. [lives him a hug]
Bart: Gee, sorry for bein' born.
Homer: I've been waitin' so long to hear that. [lives him a hug]
Lisa: Haven't you heard of Occam's Razor? "The simplest explanation is probably the correct one."
Milhouse: So what's the simplest solution, brainhead?
Lisa: Oh, I don't know, maybe the parents are reverse vampires that have to get home before dark?
Everyone else: [screaming] Aargh! Reverse vampires! Reverse vampires!
Milhouse: So what's the simplest solution, brainhead?
Lisa: Oh, I don't know, maybe the parents are reverse vampires that have to get home before dark?
Everyone else: [screaming] Aargh! Reverse vampires! Reverse vampires!
Linda: Hey, look, an e-mail from Harley's dad. He's asking if Louise would want to join Harley's soccer team. Think she would?
Bob: I've met Louise, so probably not.
Linda: Louise, do you want to sign up for soccer?!
Louise: [offscreen, sarcastically] Yes! Please sign me up for soccer!
Linda: Oh!
Bob: She's being sarcastic.
Linda: Are you being sarcastic?!
Louise: [sarcastically] No!
Linda: Aw, yeah, you're right.
Bob: Well, wait, now I'm not so sure. Louise, do you want to sign up for soccer?!
Louise: [sarcastically] Uh-huh!
Linda: I guess she wants to do it. Should we double-triple-check?
Bob: No, I-I don't want to yell anymore.
Bob: I've met Louise, so probably not.
Linda: Louise, do you want to sign up for soccer?!
Louise: [offscreen, sarcastically] Yes! Please sign me up for soccer!
Linda: Oh!
Bob: She's being sarcastic.
Linda: Are you being sarcastic?!
Louise: [sarcastically] No!
Linda: Aw, yeah, you're right.
Bob: Well, wait, now I'm not so sure. Louise, do you want to sign up for soccer?!
Louise: [sarcastically] Uh-huh!
Linda: I guess she wants to do it. Should we double-triple-check?
Bob: No, I-I don't want to yell anymore.
Mr. Krabs: Argh, me back!
SpongeBob: Are you hurt, Mr. Krabs?
Mr. Krabs: No. I'm just doubled over in pain, fightin' back tears in me eyes because it's a new dance craze!
SpongeBob: Oh, good, I thought you were hurt.
Mr. Krabs: I AM HURT, YA IDIOT!
SpongeBob: Are you hurt, Mr. Krabs?
Mr. Krabs: No. I'm just doubled over in pain, fightin' back tears in me eyes because it's a new dance craze!
SpongeBob: Oh, good, I thought you were hurt.
Mr. Krabs: I AM HURT, YA IDIOT!
Koffie: Hello, Folsom! Good to see you again after all these days!
Absent: [sarcastically] Yyyyep. Welcome to paradise.
Koffie: Ooh~! This place is paradise~!
Absent: I WAS BEING SARCASTIC! Seriously, Koffie, do I need to hold up a—
[Koffie is in tears]
Absent: Oh... sorry. Forgot for a sec that you were a bit sensitive to that, heh.
Absent: [sarcastically] Yyyyep. Welcome to paradise.
Koffie: Ooh~! This place is paradise~!
Absent: I WAS BEING SARCASTIC! Seriously, Koffie, do I need to hold up a—
[Koffie is in tears]
Absent: Oh... sorry. Forgot for a sec that you were a bit sensitive to that, heh.
— SOSchip, the beginning scene of "Go West, Young Oshawott"
Woman: Last year, the Internet told IHOP to stick to pancakes. Well, here they are! "Pancakes" with all-natural black angus beef, like this Garlic Butter Pancake—
Man: Wait, uh... tha-that's a burger.
Woman: No, it's not! It's our new pancake! Just ask our mascot, Mr. Pancake!
Mr. Pancake: Yep, it's a pancake!
Man: But he's a burger too!
Mr. Pancake: What did you say? Huh!? WHAT AM I!? SAY MY NAME!
Man: Wait, uh... tha-that's a burger.
Woman: No, it's not! It's our new pancake! Just ask our mascot, Mr. Pancake!
Mr. Pancake: Yep, it's a pancake!
Man: But he's a burger too!
Mr. Pancake: What did you say? Huh!? WHAT AM I!? SAY MY NAME!
— IHOP commercial
Larry: It's not a big deal, but from what I saw out there, I think you're having a small breakdown.
Molly: That's weird. I can't think of why.
Larry: I would think it was because of the arrest, and not knowing what's going to happen.
Molly: Old man, do you really not understand sarcasm?
Larry: [chuckles] Do you?
Molly: That's weird. I can't think of why.
Larry: I would think it was because of the arrest, and not knowing what's going to happen.
Molly: Old man, do you really not understand sarcasm?
Larry: [chuckles] Do you?
"What, you guys don't have sarcasm anymore?"
— Simon Phoenix, Demolition Man
Chief George Earle: We can just wait for another code to go red. And when Phoenix performs another Murder Death Kill, we'll know exactly where to pounce.
John Spartan: Great plan.
Earle: Thank you.
Erwin: He likes your plan, Chief!
John Spartan: Great plan.
Earle: Thank you.
Erwin: He likes your plan, Chief!
Woolie: Young Sin decides it's time he learned how to fight, and wonders about using Sol's weapon. Sol doubts it. Noting his affinity for lightning, Sin says it needs to be something that he can charge into battle with, that's manly and stylish, and most importantly, eye-catching. Sol sarcastically tells him to go wave a flag.
[cut to Sin wielding a flag as a weapon]
[cut to Sin wielding a flag as a weapon]
— GUILTY GEAR LORE: Heaven Or Hell: Duel 3 [GGXX to GG2: Overture]
Britta Perry: Who is the lucky brunette?
Jeff Winger: Last name: "Beeswax". First name: "Nunnuyah".
Pierce Hawthorne: Oh, my third wife was biracial!
Jeff Winger: Last name: "Beeswax". First name: "Nunnuyah".
Pierce Hawthorne: Oh, my third wife was biracial!
Duke Felmet: [being given a handkerchief] Is this a dagger I see before me?
The Fool: Um. No, my lord. It's my handkerchief. You can sort of tell the difference if you look closely. It doesn't have as many sharp edges.
Felmet: Good fool!
The Fool: [to himself] Totally mad. Several sticks short of a bundle. So far round the twist you could use him to open wine bottles.
The Fool: Um. No, my lord. It's my handkerchief. You can sort of tell the difference if you look closely. It doesn't have as many sharp edges.
Felmet: Good fool!
The Fool: [to himself] Totally mad. Several sticks short of a bundle. So far round the twist you could use him to open wine bottles.
Little Bob: ...An' I got a dog named Rex! He's real neat!
Little Jean: Oh we've lot lots of animals on my uncle's farm!
Little Bob: Oh! Like... lions an' mooses an' stuff?
Little Jean: On a farm. Yeah. We've got those.
Little Bob: Neat!
Little Jean: I was bein' sarcastic.
Little Bob: Okay.
Little Jean: Oh we've lot lots of animals on my uncle's farm!
Little Bob: Oh! Like... lions an' mooses an' stuff?
Little Jean: On a farm. Yeah. We've got those.
Little Bob: Neat!
Little Jean: I was bein' sarcastic.
Little Bob: Okay.
Jerry: Taddy?
Rick: Yes, Jerry, It's Taddy, a person no one's ever heard of until now calling you on a space phone.
Jerry: I can't tell if you're being sarcastic.
Rick: Yes, Jerry, It's Taddy, a person no one's ever heard of until now calling you on a space phone.
Jerry: I can't tell if you're being sarcastic.
"Apparently, E.S.P. is no aid in detecting sarcasm..."
— Phoenix Wright, thinking about Maya Fey, Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney
Cubot: Great idea, Orbot. This is much less work. By the way, I'm being sarcastic.
Orbot: Really? I couldn't tell.
Cubot: You didn't?
Orbot: Really? I couldn't tell.
Cubot: You didn't?
"The problem with having a sarcastic voice is that no one can tell when you're actually being sarcastic."
— Martha, The Amazing World of Gumball, "The Finale"
sarchasm: n. The giant gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn't get it.
— Bumper sticker slogan
OK, like one time, I was out in the parking lot
Tryin' to remove my excess earwax with a golf pencil
When I see this guy Marty tryin' to carry a big ol' sofa up the stairs all by himself
So I, I say to him, I say "Hey, you want me to help you with that?"
And Marty, he just rolls his eyes and goes
"Noooo, I want you to cut off my arms and legs with a chainsaw"
So I did.
Tryin' to remove my excess earwax with a golf pencil
When I see this guy Marty tryin' to carry a big ol' sofa up the stairs all by himself
So I, I say to him, I say "Hey, you want me to help you with that?"
And Marty, he just rolls his eyes and goes
"Noooo, I want you to cut off my arms and legs with a chainsaw"
So I did.
— "Weird Al" Yankovic, "Albuquerque"
Narrator: With only four minutes left, Seth has butchered the filet.
Gordon Ramsay: We've fucking WASTED the most expensive part! Look at it!
Narrator: And possibly the blue team's hopes of winning dinner service.
Gordon Ramsay: How can you do that?
Seth: I never butchered a filet before, so, uh...
Gordon Ramsay: Congratulations, you just have.
Seth: Thank you, yes—
Gordon Ramsay: Hey, hey, hey, smart-arse. Not in the right way, you fucking bozo!
Gordon Ramsay: We've fucking WASTED the most expensive part! Look at it!
Narrator: And possibly the blue team's hopes of winning dinner service.
Gordon Ramsay: How can you do that?
Seth: I never butchered a filet before, so, uh...
Gordon Ramsay: Congratulations, you just have.
Seth: Thank you, yes—
Gordon Ramsay: Hey, hey, hey, smart-arse. Not in the right way, you fucking bozo!
