Quotes / Rugrats

Malapropisms:

Season 2

"Chuckie vs. the Potty"

Chuckie: And nobody can stop me, not my mom, not my dad, not President of the Beenited Steaks, because I...^Translation United States

Season 3

"Tricycle Thief"

Susie: "The final nail in the coffee."^Translation coffin

"Rhinoceritis"

Tommy: "Angelica! You're the one with rhinoplatsy!" ^Translation Rhinoceritis; a disease that allegedly turns you into a rhino.

"Cuffed"

Angelica: When life hands you a lemon, make applesauce ^Translation When life gives you lemons, make lemonade

"The Blizzard"

Tommy: We faced the "elephants" ^Translation elements

Tommy: Cross miles of frozen "plunger" ^Translation tundra

Lil, Angelica: The "Bom-dible"/"Abdominal" Snowman ^Translation abominable

Season 4

"Psycho Angelica"

Angelica: "I can predict the future; I'm a psycho!" ^Translation Psychic

Season 5

"The First Cut"

Angelica: "[My blood] got all over Mommy's dress I was accidentally wearing. They had to wrap me up like a mummy to keep all my blood in, and then they took me to the hospital so I wouldn't get an inflection."^Translation infection

Tommy: "What's that?"

Angelica: "It's when germ bugs fly in and swim around in your blood, and pretty soon you get tangerine."^Translation gangrene

Season 6

"All's Well That Pretends Well"

Angelica: "Get ready, everybody— We're about to have an epidermis on our hands!"^Translation epidemic

Season 9

"Starstruck"

Chuckie: "I'm gonna miss her, but you got to admit: she knows how to tinkle."^Translation twinkle

Angelica's Lies

Season 2

"Rebel Without a Teddy Bear"

If you're not gonna be bad and throw away that necklace, then the grown-ups will never give you anything! They'll take away your [toy] lion, and your dog, and all your toys 'til you have nothing but your diapers! And then they'll take those, too!

"Spike the Wonder Dog"

It's me, Spike. The dog.

Season 3

"Under Chuckie's Bed"

''Chuckie's gonna get eaten, eaten, eaten. Chuckie's gonna get eaten by the monster under his bed!"

Season 4

"Chicken Pops"

Chicken pops are what turns little kids into chickens. That's why Chuckie has to stay inside. The grownups are afraid that when Chuckie turns into a chicken, he'll get eaten by a cat.

Season 6

She's from, uh, Milwaukee. Everybody walks there.

Grandpa Lou's Tall Tales

Season 1

"Slumber Party"

Why, we had to walk fifteen miles to school, for your information, in the snow with no shoes!

Season 2

"Chuckie vs. the Potty"

Didi: "You mean you weren't potty trained when you were two?!"

Grandpa Lou: "Two?! Shucks, we almost didn't get him into the Boy Scouts!"

Season 5

Why, I'm as fit as I was when I was an ensign in the corps. And back then, we used to stay up for fifteen days in a row, and we liked it.

Other Notable Quotes

Season 1

"Tommy's First Birthday"

Grandpa Lou: "Tommy's not old enough for that thing! Heck, even I'm not old enough for it!"

Stu: "Tony Bow-Wow was my favourite stuffed toy. Why did you have to go and (sob) tear his ears off?"

Stu: "My arm healed, and Drew sees almost perfectly fine out of that eye. Besides, we were eight or nine years old."

"Slumber Party"

Angelica: (to Tommy, who is one year old) "Only babies suck on bottles."

Grandpa Lou: "Thermometer? Why, the boy's just got a chill! All you've gotta do is turn him upside-down..."

Drew: "Never mind. I'll get it."

Grandpa Lou: "Now, just get some applesauce and an old sock big enough for his head."

Stu: (annoyed) "Pop..."

Didi: "Let him finish!"

Grandpa Lou: "I was just saying, you turn him upside-down and feed him the applesauce."

Stu: "I remember that one, it was applesauce everywhere."

Didi: "Maybe we should try it."

Stu: "We're not doing the applesauce! It didn't work then, it doesn't work now."

Angelica: (when asked how slumber parties work) "If you have to ask, you'll never know."

"Little Dude"

Ramone: "I've got a little brother his age, so I'm used to [changing diapers]. I dub thee Little Dude."

Ramone: "Of course he's okay; he's the Little Dude!"

"Special Delivery"

Doll: "My name is Patty Pants, and I need a new diaper!"

Stu: "No! You're not supposed to need a new diaper. You're supposed to need a hug."

Season 2

"Chuckie vs. the Potty"

Didi: "That's for cleaning up messes, not making them."

Didi: "We'll take care of Chuckie and we'll make sure he uses his P-O-T-T-Y."

Chas: "His what?"

Chas: "Use your potty, and don't eat any earthworms."

Didi: "Bye, Charles!"

Chas: "Or breathe any noxious fumes!"

Didi: "Bye, Charles!"

Chas: "Or drink any radioactive waste!"

Didi: "Help me pull down his pants. Not his shirt, his pants!"

Chuckie: "Sometimes, I think I have to go [to the bathroom], but I don't, and other times, I don't think I have to go, and I do! I really, really do!"

Angelica: "Don't you know that going to the potty is what you have to do when you get old? If you don't know how to do it, you can't never go to school, or drive a car, or join the army, or none of that fun stuff!"

Tommy: "Like they say, everybody who's anybody is potty trained."

Chuckie: "Yup, and I'm a 'anybody' now."

"Let There Be Light"

Chuckie: "This ain't just regular, plain old scary, Tommy: this is the dark!"

"Chuckie Loses His Glasses"

Tommy: (wearing Chuckie's glasses) "Wow, this must be what Chuckie sees. No wonder he's so scared!"

"Chuckie Gets Skunked"

Chas: "No, [the perfume] didn't [work], now he just smells like a skunk who is getting ready for a hot date."

"Down the Drain"

Singer in a Record: "The water's your friend, the tub is your pal. You can't get sucked down the drain."

"Let Them Eat Cake"

Didi: (after Stu catches a boquet) "He's already married!"

"The Slide"

Angelica: "He's a scaredy-cat, and you know it."

Susie: "He's a big, brave dog."

Angelica: "Scaredy-cat!"

Susie: "Dog!"

Angelica: "Cat!"

Susie: "Dog!"

Angelica: "Cat!"

Chuckie: "Stop! I am not a aminal! I'm a human bean!"

Season 3

"The Stork"

Drew: "We all start out as a tiny egg."

Angelica: "An egg?!"

Charlotte: "Oh, Drew, you're making it so complicated! Look, sweetie: to make a baby, mommies and daddies need to... well, they need to—"

Drew: "Call the stork!"

Angelica: "The stork?!"

Charlotte: "The stork?!"

Drew: "Right, the stork! Y'know, that really big ugly bird with feathers?"

Angelica: "So the stork brings them a baby?"

Drew: "Right."

Angelica: "Wait a second— I thought you said babies come from eggs."

Charlotte: "They do."

Drew: "Stork eggs."

"The Mysterious Mr. Friend"

Mr. Friend: "A word of caution if you please: don't kiss the cat when the cat has fleas."

"Cuffed"

Chuckie: (who's cuffed to Angelica) "I guess this isn't a good time to mention I need to go potty."

"Princess Angelica"

Angelica: "Real princesses' skin is so soft, they can feel a pea through a whole lot of blankets!"

Lil: "I can feel it when Phil pees through a whole lot of blankets. Does that make me a princess?"

Angelica: "No, that just makes you both disgusting."

"The Odd Couple"

Chuckie: "Look what you did! It's all ruined!"

Tommy: "What's all ruined, Chuckie?"

Chuckie: "The Bogo Block village! The police car is in the fire station, the firetruck's at the airport, the airplane's on top of the restaurant, people are hanging out of windows, buildings are moved, and you've completely taken apart City Hall!"

"Naked Tommy"

Tommy: (upon seeing Lil naked for the first time) "Uh, Lil, could I ask you a question?"

Tommy: "But Chuckie, all the best people are nakie! Look, Spike is nakie, and Susie's cat is nakie, and even Reptar is nakie!"

Betty: "Philly, Lilly, you're nudists!"

Tommy: "I don't care what anybody says, Chuckie! Nakie is good! Nakie is free! Nakie is... nakie!"

"Chuckie is Rich"

Gorilla Toy: "Thorg hungry! Thorg want eat!"

Chuckie: "That's what you always say!"

"The Unfair Pair"

Charlotte: "My favourite will always be angora."

Angelica: "Who's Angora?!"

"I Remember Melville"

Chuckie: "Tommy, me and Melville are just fine here! We are not dead, okay?!"

Season 4

"Angelica's Last Stand"

Chuckie: "OK, then, I pick Tommy [for leader]."

Lil: "I also pick Tommy."

Phil: "I pick Reptar!... or Tommy."

"Clan of the Duck"

Chuckie: "If mommies can wear pants and grownups can wear diapies, how come we can't wear dressies?!"

"Potty Training Spike"

Tommy: "From now on, I'll be Spike's dad!"

Chuckie: "Yeah, and I'll be, uh... Spike's other dad."

Phil: "And we'll be Spike's Uncle Bill and Aunt Harriet."

"Angelica Nose Best"

Angelica: "The sky is blue, and playgrounds are fun, and Grandpa Lou is old!"

Season 5

"The Word of the Day"

Angelica: "Now, which word is the bad one, Daddy?"

Drew: "Well, it's... I mean, it's the w—- Look, maybe it would just be better if you didn't say any of those words anymore, Angelica."

Angelica: "Is it 'we're'?"

Drew: "Angelica!"

Angelica: "Is it 'all'?"

Charlotte: "Angelica, you are not to say that word again!"

Angelica: "Is it 'little'?"

Drew: "Angelica, if you say that word one more time, we are not going to be taking you to be at Miss Carol's show!"

Angelica: "Oh, you mean it's (censored)!"

Tommy: "I guess a bad word is a word people don't wanna hear."

Phil: "Oh, then I know a really bad word: 'bath'."

"Grandpa's Bad Bug"

Stu: "If, a promise, you don't keep, it will haunt you in your sleep. And as you lie beneath your quilt, you'll have a conscience full of guilt."

Grandpa Lou: "But if it's cards you want to play, then sneak in and sleep all day."

Season 6

"Chuckie's a Lefty"

Didi: "Hey, uh, I've never noticed before but is he left-handed?"

Chas: "Oh, uh, he's been switching back and forth. I'm sure it's perfectly normal."

Charlotte: "Normal?! You know what being left-handed means, don't you?!"

Chas: "Uh, using your left hand?"

Angelica: "In fact, only ten persons in the whole poop-ulation are left-handed."

Angelica: "What? I'm not bossy! Hey! Step away from that fly! You babies move over there, and you, stop sneezing! Hey, I am kinda bossy, aren't I?"

"Ghost Story"

Chuckie: "So, um, the boy opened the door and he finded the most beautifulest room with lots of flowers and big fluffy pillows, and bowls filled to the top with yummy candy! And so, the house wasn't haunted after all, and the scaredy little boy wasn't scared no more, the end!"

Angelica: "What?! You can't end it like that! That wasn't even scary! A scary story doesn't gots flowers and fluffy pillows and candy! Now tell it right, or I'll start tellin' it again!"

Chuckie: "Yes, Angelica. So, so the... then, the boy, he opened the door, and... And, uh, well, the room was kinda dark, and there... there was pillows, but they was hard and lumpy, and, uh, the candy was... yucky."

"Chuckie's Complaint"

Chuckie: "Dear Reptar, it was not very nice of you to take that boy's cereal. You should have asked for your own cereal or, you know, at least left him some. Also you shouldn't have eaten the bowl, but it was a pretty hole you made and you roared pretty good."

Angelica: "Dear Reptar, you are a big fat bully. I think your movies are boring and I think you are the meanest, smelliest, ugliest dinosaur who ever lived. Oh, and P.U. If you ever need to find me, I'm a little scaredy boy with red hair and glasses."

"Music"

Chuckie: (singing) "Pack up your troubles in your old kid bag and smile, smile, smile. Take all the scary things that make you sad and throw them in a pile."

"Officer Chuckie"

Dan: "Stay alert, don't get hurt."

Chuckie: "Never pet a dog that's strange to you or you might get something on your shoe."

"Accidents Happen"

Tommy: "If you were going backwards, you would've taked your glasses off instead of putting them on, and walked up the stairs instead of down 'em."

Chuckie: (referring to Dil, who soiled himself) "You mean I'm gonna be doing that in my pants again and telling everyone when I do it?!"

Phil: "It's OK to keep some secrets, Chuckie."

Chuckie: (on his training pants) "They're in case I forget to go potty, but Daddy says they're definitely different from diapers."

"Famous Babies"

Angelica: "Introducing, uh, The Babies!"

Chuckie: "This is not a dance. I got sand in my pants!"

"Brothers are Monsters"

Freddie: "I happen to know older sisters can be monsters too."

Tommy: "Gee, Phil, isn't Lil just a little tiny bit older than you?"

Season 7

"Finsterella"

Chuckie: "You're more losted than you think: you're in the wrong story!"

"Dil Saver"

Computer: "Delete?"

Tommy: "Yeah, Dil eat! How do we make him eat?"

Dil: "Pee-pee!"

Phil: "Pee? Now? OK."

Lil: "No, Phillip. I think he means P like in the alphabetty song. You know, A-B-C-D-D-A-D."

Angelica: (upon hearing that Dil won't eat) "Well, he should. Why do you think compoopers have menus?"

Computer: "Do you want to send?"

Tommy: "Yes! Send Dil back to us!"

"Falling Stars"

Angelica: "I... am your cousin!"

"Attention, Please"

Chuckie: (to the tune of Frere Jacques) "No, no, no, no. No, no, no, no. No, no, no. No, no, no. No, no, no, no, no, no. No, no, no, no, no, no."

"Bad Shoes"

Stu: "These shoes aren't meant for human feet!"

Season 8

"Hello, Dilly"

Teacher: (who was told Dil was a realistic doll, but then Dil pooped himself) "Too real, too real..."

Season 9

"Starstruck"

Kimi: "That man likes my piggy-tails!"

Chuckie: (looking at Kimi's butt) "Piggy-tails? All I see is a diapie."

Chas: "Welcome to Java Lava. My name's—- Mack Granite, the movie star?!"

Mack: "Funny, that's my name too!"

Chas: "I've never met another Mack Granite movie star. Just kidding, my name's actually Chas."

Chuckie: "I don't know, Tommy. Floating's kind of dangerous. You could crash into other stars or a spaceship or even the mouth of a giant alien!"

"Hurricane Alice"

Lil: "Hey! Teddy's not supposed to fly!"