Tanabe: Wha... what is this?
Hachimaki: Eh? Never seen a porno mag before?
Tanabe: That's... That's not what I meant! I mean why would we want to take something like that with us in the first place?!
Hachimaki: Because we need it. Depending on the job we get, men and women may be stuck together for days at a time. If we don't take matters into our own hands, it could lead to trouble. Here you go, (throws a female oriented copy in front of Tanabe) this one's for you.
Tanabe: Uhg! (crushes Hachimaki's foot)
— Planetes
"Oh, wow! My mother is your biggest fan! She has like, a dozen pictures of you in the drawer by the bed that she thinks I don't know about!"
— Elan (to Julio Scoundrél), The Order of the Stick
Helen B. Narbon: Hello? Anyone?
Lupin Madblood: Psst! Narbon! Get in and be quiet!
Helen: Lupin! Are you all right?
Lupin: Indeed. This safe-room is invisible to my security system and independent from the rest of the facility.
Helen: You created a room your own computer can't see?
Lupin: I have secrets, Narbon, from which even Lovelace must be shielded.
Helen: My, what a lot of Hustlers.
Lupin: Yes, well, we're alive, aren't we?
— Narbonic, "Madness" storyline, October 14, 2006
.
.In the living room you'll find a box marked porn... It's not porn, Jon! It's erotica! That's my legacy! It has to go to a library!
— John Oliver, The Daily Show
— John Oliver, The Daily Show
Katie: What's in the box, James?
James: Fannies! It's full of fannies!
— Skins
Trekkie Monster: In volatile market, only stable investment... is PORN!
— Avenue Q
"Every man in here got a pornography stash in the crib. Not an illegal amount, just enough to get you by! And when we hide porno, we go all out! It ain't behind the refrigerator or under the bed, we become Batman when it's time to hide some porno! You hit the light switch, the whole bookcase shifts to the side, you go down two flights of stairs into your porno cellar! ... But women always find the porno! Always find the porno! But they don't find it in the porno hiding place; no, no, no! Where do they find the porno at? In the VCR!"
— Chris Rock - Bigger and Blacker
Don: (after Sally finds his Porn Stash) Oh, God. Now you think I'm a perv.
Sally: No, I don't! You like to look at naked ladies, that's perfectly normal!
Don: Why yes it is!
Sally: No, I don't! You like to look at naked ladies, that's perfectly normal!
Don: Why yes it is!
(Scully is visiting Mulder's apartment)
Scully: Good morning.
Mulder: Whatever tape you found in that VCR isn't mine.
Scully: Good, because I put it back in that drawer with all those other videos that aren't yours.
Scully: Good morning.
Mulder: Whatever tape you found in that VCR isn't mine.
Scully: Good, because I put it back in that drawer with all those other videos that aren't yours.
—The X-Files, episode 2x11, "Excelsis Dei"
"Back to sleep, Lewis, or I'm telling Mom about your Playboys!"
— Alex Rogan, The Last Starfighter
Ted: WHAT THE FUCK?!
John: Holy shit, dude! What's the matter?! What happened?! What's goin' on?!
Ted: There's so much PORN!
John: Well, what the hell are you doing looking at my private shit?!
Ted: What are you talking about "private shit", Johnny?! It was wide open! There are literally thousands of files on here!
John: Well, I've been meaning to clear some of that out!
Ted: Jesus Chri—Look at the organization here! "Clockwise rimjob", "Counterclockwise rimjob"...
John: Yeah, well, sometimes you like seeing the tongue go the other way!
Ted: You sick bastard—Look at this! "Chicks with dicks"?!
John: (breaking down) Oh my God! Oh my God! I have a disease, alright! I need help!
Ted: There are no chicks with dicks, Johnny! Only guys with tits!
Bobby: So the new student who's coming this weekend is a girl?
Hank: It would appear so. Warren better collect all the dirty magazines he has stashed around the rec room.
Warren: (grumbling) Yeah, yeah. I'll get on it.
Hank: It would appear so. Warren better collect all the dirty magazines he has stashed around the rec room.
Warren: (grumbling) Yeah, yeah. I'll get on it.
"Air Force 1Lt Lorrain C. Shoen of Larkspur, CA reads a magazine while remaining perfectly horizontal with the aid of prismatic glasses. She and eight other nurses spent two weeks of total bedrest in NASA weightlessness test and said she spent part of her time reading Playboy and Playgirl. Pictures of nude male pinups are in the background."
"Ahhh, so you found your father's old stag movies, didn't ya?"
—Uncle Les, BrainDead
Quentin: For Christ's sake, Worth, what do you live for? Do you have a wife, or a girlfriend, or something?
Worth: Nope. I've got a pretty fine collection of pornography.
Worth: Nope. I've got a pretty fine collection of pornography.
—Cube
