Quotes / Painful Rhyme

Aram: I'm actually here to pass out this formal complaint against his existence.
Complaint: "Articles XII-XVI: Incidents involving the word 'strife' in conjunction with the word 'life'."

— Men in Hats 2004-01-21

Bertie: I meant the fact that it rhymes, Jeeves. 'Sweden.' 'Needin'.
Jeeves: Almost, sir.

— Jeeves and Wooster

"Grunka Lunka dunkety dingredient
You should not ask about the secret ingredient"

— Grunka Lunkas, Futurama "Fry and the Slurm Factory"

"Look, Aladdin was a great Disney cartoon, and its songs won Oscars and are in the AFI lists. But: One step ahead of my doom. Next time I'd better use a nom de plume, is a cringe-inducing lyric."

— This CRACKED article.

Yogi: Gonna eat this trolly that's filled with guaca-molly.
Booboo: Can't make it rhyme all of the time.

— Jellystone!

The rhyme obliges me to this; sometimes.
Monarchs are less imperative than rhymes

—Lord Byron, after a particularly painful rhyme in Don Juan

Just because you can rhyme the words "lyrical" and "miracle" doesn't mean that you are one.

— The Rap Critic, guest appearance on Bad Movie Beatdown

And a song I was writing is left undone
I don't know why I spend my time
Writing songs I can't believe
With words that tear and strain to rhyme

— Simon & Garfunkel, "Kathy's Song"

When you sing through the verse and you end in a scream
And you swear and you curse 'cause the rhyming ain't clean

— The Who, "Guitar and Pen"

Rhymey: There's no need to make a fuss / there is nothing he can do to us.
Ace Ray: And you... will YOU STOP WITH THAT RHYMING!
Rhymey: I fail to see why you mock / me for the way that I talk. / My entire family speaks in rhyme. / We have been doing so for a long, long time. / There is nothing wrong with what I do. / But I would say something is wrong with you.

— My Brave Pony: Starfleet Magic

Every single line of dialogue is a rhyming couplet, which is a cute idea as gimmicks go, but several thousand couplets down the line, you can practically taste the blood running from the writer's eyeballs, as in the most utterly-tortured possible way / arranges the words of another sentence do they. [...] You know when you're watching your grandad type and he's taking so fucking long, you get more and more frustrated, until you want to shoo him away and do it yourself? It was like that! Whatever the game's merits, I had to stop, because otherwise I would have bitten my controller in half and yelled "You can't rhyme "delicious" with "ravenous"! EMPHASIS IS ON THE WRONG SYLLABLE, YOU FUCK!"

— Zero Punctuation on Child of Light

Cole Porter was pretty much at the nadir of his long career when he wrote the handful of songs that purportedly make this film a musical, but aside from the joyous "Be a Clown," not much else resonates with the classic works of his youth..you know you're in trouble when Porter rhymes "Nina" with "neurasthenia" and "schizophrenia".

—Jeffrey Kaufman on The Pirate (1948)

Are you actually going to rhyme 'mushroom' with 'room'? I mean actually?

—Fallen London

Kevin: Cady, you tried the fast life. Embrace the math life!
Marwan: That's a forced rhyme—
Kevin: MARWAN, GET OFF MY DICK.

—Mean Girls

We're Knights of the Round Table, our shows are for-mid-able
But many times, we're given rhymes that are quite un-sing-able...

—Monty Python and the Holy Grail

''He could hear the jody Detritus had taught them. Somehow, you could tell it was made up by a troll:'

‘Now we sing dis stupid song!
Sing it as we run along!
Why we sing dis we don’t know!
We can’t make der words rhyme prop’ly!’

—Night Watch Discworld

"That rhyme is so tortured it would make Dick Cheney wince."

— Mother's Basement, on the English Hamtaro theme song

Anyhow, it's kind of sort of written in poetry, but it's not very well-written poetry and the rhymes are forced, if they're there at all. "No fun at all" doesn't rhyme with "play football". The accents are wrong. That's not poetry anymore.

— Cassandra Gelvin, reviewing Little T Learns To Share, Dont Read This To My Kids

"Corazón, o Corazón / Look to the horizón" ...Brave rhyme.

— Dob, attempting to perform a song that Corazón wrote, Oxventure: Peak Performance

Cause on the surface / Where Spock and Kirk is

(later in the song)

We'll have the last laugh/On Palpatine's ass

—Voltaire, Expendable

Daggett: Why are you taking Norb away?

The Yak in the Sack: His very presence has disrupted, I think it's time.. he giddy-up-did.

Dagett and Norbert: "Giddy-up-did?"

The Yak in the Sack: So I was stretching, stop your kvetching.

—The Angry Beavers, "The Yak in the Sack"

Oh, every time I hear a perfect rhyme I get all tingly
Because I know that to find a perfect rhyme is not an easy thing...ly!

— Portia, Something Rotten!

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