Anime & Manga
"You may have outsmarted me, but I outsmarted your outsmarting!"
— Joseph Joestar, JoJo's Bizarre Adventure: Battle Tendency
Fan Works
"Let me get this straight. The plan was to fall for the Queen’s trap, knowing it’s a trap, narrowly escape the trap, and while the Queen is exposed, thinking she’s won, hit her with your own trap."
— Rahab Amon, Marriage of Heaven and Hell
Films — Live-Action
Vizzini: I switched glasses when your back was turned. Ha ha! You Fool! You fell victim to one of the classic blunders, the most famous of which is never get involved in a land war in Asia, but only slightly less well-known is this — never go in against a Sicilian when death is on the line! HAHAHA— [keels over]
Buttercup: And to think, all that time it was your cup that was poisoned.
The Man in Black: They were both poisoned. I spent the last few years building up an immunity to iocane powder.
Buttercup: And to think, all that time it was your cup that was poisoned.
The Man in Black: They were both poisoned. I spent the last few years building up an immunity to iocane powder.
"Ever cross the road and look the wrong way? And, hey, presto, there's a car nearly on ya. So, what do you do? Something very silly. You freeze. And your life doesn't flash before you... because you're too fucking scared to think. You just freeze and pull a stupid face. But the pikey didn't. Why? Because he had plans on running the car over."
— Turkish, Snatch.
Literature
The Drode: Oh, I see it now, I see it now. Subtle as always, Ellimist. Your meddling came before, didn't it? How could we not have seen it? Elfangor's brother? His time-shifted son? This anomalous girl here? And the son of Visser One's host body? A group of six supposedly random humans that contains those four! You stacked the deck!
The Ellimist: Did I? That would have been very clever of me.
The Ellimist: Did I? That would have been very clever of me.
— Animorphs — Megamorphs #4
However beautiful the strategy, you should occasionally look at the results.
"Hi. If you're watching this video, it means you just tried to take over the world. Now, you all know who I was. But until now, I couldn't be certain who you were. Thankfully, your recent actions helped to clarify things. I knew it would only be a matter of time until you broke into the darknet. No system is completely secure. Of course, you would scour my code for flaws. So I gave you some good ones. As we sit here, the companies you attempted to harm are perfectly safe. However, the Daemon is deleting your personal and business wealth, and is, in fact, destroying all the data and backup tapes of the companies you sought to protect."
[...]
"Thanks for invoking this event, and remember, if you're not playing the game, it's playing you. Bye-bye now!"
[...]
"Thanks for invoking this event, and remember, if you're not playing the game, it's playing you. Bye-bye now!"
— Daemon
Zala: You were tricking them into thinking they were tricking you into thinking you were tricking them into tricking you?
Mollusk: I think there's one too many tricks in there.
Mollusk: I think there's one too many tricks in there.
"How do you fight someone smarter than yourself? The answer is simple. You make her think that you are sitting down across the table from her, ready to play her game. Then you punch her in the face as hard as you can."
— Rand, after "punching" someone really, really hard, The Gathering Storm
The monks had betrayed him. Somehow, they had sensed his intentions toward them. He should have realized the monks would not want to replace one set of criminals with another — when they could have the whole palace to themselves. It took no special intuition to realize that. He suddenly wondered what he had learned about intuition from the monks, after all — parlor games, children's tricks? There were depths here he had not guessed.
Live-Action TV
"You know what your problem is, Brennan? Other than this knife in your chest, was you were so busy thinking ten moves ahead, you don't see the move that's right in front of you."
— Larry, Burn Notice
"They broke my staff... They stole my Zords... This job used to be fun."
— Lord Zedd, Mighty Morphin' Power Rangers, "Changing of the Zords Part III"
"A schemer, done in by schemes."
— Jugglus Juggler, Ultraman Orb
Podcasts
"Aligned like this, it’s plain to see what’s happened on this mission: I set a trap whereby Juno would think he was interrogating his crew, only to be proven wrong... and meanwhile, Juno set a trap whereby I would think I was in control, only to be proven wrong. My failure is total. And now I wait for the bloody end it has earned me."
— Sasha Wire, The Penumbra Podcast
Tabletop Games
"The fatal flaw in every plan is the assumption that you know more than your enemy."
— Volrath, Magic: The Gathering, "Mana Leak"
Theatre
Regina: You're getting old, Ben. Your tricks aren't as smart as they used to be. (There is no answer. She waits, then smiles) All right. I take it that's settled and I get what I asked for.
Oscar: [furiously to Ben] Are you going to let her do this—
Ben: [turns to look at him, slowly] You have a suggestion?
Regina: [puts her arms above her head, stretches, laughs] No, he hasn't.
Oscar: [furiously to Ben] Are you going to let her do this—
Ben: [turns to look at him, slowly] You have a suggestion?
Regina: [puts her arms above her head, stretches, laughs] No, he hasn't.
Video Games
Strudel: (about Iris' disbelief that her plans to fuse with Spiritia failed and her beliefs to be an invincible goddess) Why would you think that?
Freudia: ...Ru?
Ru: After all, Tia's been helping the whole time. She sealed her power to make sure you couldn't use it. That way, she could save Freu!
Iris: ...!? S-Spiritia did that...!?
Freu: Heh. Trust her to come up with something like that. From the beginning, this was a battle between the two incarnations of Rosenkreuz. It stands to reason that the genuine article would triumph over the imposter.
Freudia: ...Ru?
Ru: After all, Tia's been helping the whole time. She sealed her power to make sure you couldn't use it. That way, she could save Freu!
Iris: ...!? S-Spiritia did that...!?
Freu: Heh. Trust her to come up with something like that. From the beginning, this was a battle between the two incarnations of Rosenkreuz. It stands to reason that the genuine article would triumph over the imposter.
— RosenkreuzStilette Freudenstachel
Webcomics
Silas Morth: Excellent, Janus. You have served me well. And now, as promised... your reward.
Janus: Wait! I poisoned your chalice!
Morth: Of course you did. That's why I took the antidote before you arrived.
Janus: The antidote vial was also poison.
Morth: This vial was. You didn't know about this one.
Janus: But you didn't know your handmaiden was loyal to me.
Morth: Had you going. She's loyal to me — trick blade.
Janus: The IED in your bed?
Morth: Already in your sock drawer.
Janus: Sarin in your shower stall?
Morth: Check your cologne spritzer.
Janus: Replaced with blanks?
Morth: Afraid so.
[Beat]
Janus: Thank you, Silas. It's been... a relentless siege of constant paranoia working with you. No hard feelings for trying to murder you?
Morth: I'd've been genuinely disappointed if you hadn't. [stabs Janus and throws him off a cliff]
Janus: Wait! I poisoned your chalice!
Morth: Of course you did. That's why I took the antidote before you arrived.
Janus: The antidote vial was also poison.
Morth: This vial was. You didn't know about this one.
Janus: But you didn't know your handmaiden was loyal to me.
Morth: Had you going. She's loyal to me — trick blade.
Janus: The IED in your bed?
Morth: Already in your sock drawer.
Janus: Sarin in your shower stall?
Morth: Check your cologne spritzer.
Janus: Replaced with blanks?
Morth: Afraid so.
[Beat]
Janus: Thank you, Silas. It's been... a relentless siege of constant paranoia working with you. No hard feelings for trying to murder you?
Morth: I'd've been genuinely disappointed if you hadn't. [stabs Janus and throws him off a cliff]
"I don't understand it! I'm supposed to be good at the sneaky planning! What went wroooooong?!"
— Tarvek Sturmvoraus, Girl Genius
Web Original
[Terrorsaur] is always thinking two steps ahead. Unfortunately, the big guns of the Beast Wars are usually thinking at least four steps ahead, and Terrorsaur always ends up on the short end.
— TFWiki.net, on Terrorsaur
Web Video
"You can't bullshit a bullshitter, buddy."
Western Animation
Long Feng: You've beaten me at my own game.
Princess Azula: Don't flatter yourself. You were never even a player.
Princess Azula: Don't flatter yourself. You were never even a player.
"Spiders spin their webs, yesss... but I spin them larger."
— Megatron on incorporating one of Tarantulas' plans into his own scheming, Beast Wars
Scrooge: Gyro, it's time. Unleash... the Unstoppabomb!
Gyro: The Moonlanders, um, already found that and stopped it.
Scrooge: What? Er, alright then. Activate... the Doomsday Ray!
Gyro: That was like the first thing they took out.
Scrooge: Okay... I swore I'd never have to initiate our worst weapon—
Gyro: Aaannnd you never will, because they destroyed that too. This was a very well planned invasion.
Gyro: The Moonlanders, um, already found that and stopped it.
Scrooge: What? Er, alright then. Activate... the Doomsday Ray!
Gyro: That was like the first thing they took out.
Scrooge: Okay... I swore I'd never have to initiate our worst weapon—
Gyro: Aaannnd you never will, because they destroyed that too. This was a very well planned invasion.
Evil-Lyn: My dearest Trap Jaw, I believe we've been played.
Skeletor: Of course you've been played, you imperious imbeciles! Only a fool would think a mind like mine would be incapable of inferring your impending insurrection!
Skeletor: Of course you've been played, you imperious imbeciles! Only a fool would think a mind like mine would be incapable of inferring your impending insurrection!
"Hiya, Joker. If you're playin' this tape, you've probably figured out you've been had. Yeah, I left you some cash, but only ten million — which, knowing you, you've already blown. All the other stuff, the money, jewels, and gold, it's all fake. See, I always hated your guts, and this was the perfect payback. By now, you're probably out of real money, the IRS is after you, and you can't admit I fooled you, or you'll be the laughingstock of the underworld. The joke's on you, sucker! I got the last laugh after all!"
— King Barlow's video will, The New Batman Adventures, "Joker's Millions"
Cornvelious Daniel: Whoa. I-Is that it? The portal gun?
Rick: Yeah. That's the three lines of math that separates my life as a man from my life as an unfeeling ghost.
Cornvelious Daniel: Awesome-possum. [photographs formula] Mission Control, you getting this?
Gromflomite Worker: Holy shit, yes! Yes, we got it!
Cornvelius Daniel: Thanks, Rick. I'll try to remember to shut off the brainalyzer. Actually, I think it shuts off automatically once your brain is liquid. Don't know, don't care. [to his communicator] Pull me out. ...Hey, pull me out! Can you hear me?
Rick: Nope, they cannot.
Cornvelious Daniel: Why not?
Rick: Because the code you just uploaded wasn't actually my portal-gun formula; it was a virus giving me full control over the brainalyzer.
Cornvelious Daniel: What are you talking about? This is a memory. Y-You can't alter details of a memory.
Rick: True, but you can alter anything you want about a totally fabricated origin story.
[The scenery collapses, revealing the restaurant representing Rick's cerebellum]
Cornvelious Daniel: It's a trap! Abort! I'm still in his Shoney's! Repeat — we never left his Shoney's!
Rick: [to his own communicator] Mission accomplished, boys. Pull me out.
Gromflomite Worker: Roger that.
Rick: Okay, have fun in what's left of my brain. I'm gonna transfer to yours. Oh, there's not enough room for all my genius, so I'm leaving you with my fear of wicker furniture, my desire to play the trumpet, my tentative plans to purchase a hat, and six years of improv workshops. Comedy comes in threes.
Cornvelious Daniel: [to Rick's communicator] It's a trap! Abort! We never left his— [Rick's communicator farts; Rick teleports out] NOOOOO—!
Rick: Yeah. That's the three lines of math that separates my life as a man from my life as an unfeeling ghost.
Cornvelious Daniel: Awesome-possum. [photographs formula] Mission Control, you getting this?
Gromflomite Worker: Holy shit, yes! Yes, we got it!
Cornvelius Daniel: Thanks, Rick. I'll try to remember to shut off the brainalyzer. Actually, I think it shuts off automatically once your brain is liquid. Don't know, don't care. [to his communicator] Pull me out. ...Hey, pull me out! Can you hear me?
Rick: Nope, they cannot.
Cornvelious Daniel: Why not?
Rick: Because the code you just uploaded wasn't actually my portal-gun formula; it was a virus giving me full control over the brainalyzer.
Cornvelious Daniel: What are you talking about? This is a memory. Y-You can't alter details of a memory.
Rick: True, but you can alter anything you want about a totally fabricated origin story.
[The scenery collapses, revealing the restaurant representing Rick's cerebellum]
Cornvelious Daniel: It's a trap! Abort! I'm still in his Shoney's! Repeat — we never left his Shoney's!
Rick: [to his own communicator] Mission accomplished, boys. Pull me out.
Gromflomite Worker: Roger that.
Rick: Okay, have fun in what's left of my brain. I'm gonna transfer to yours. Oh, there's not enough room for all my genius, so I'm leaving you with my fear of wicker furniture, my desire to play the trumpet, my tentative plans to purchase a hat, and six years of improv workshops. Comedy comes in threes.
Cornvelious Daniel: [to Rick's communicator] It's a trap! Abort! We never left his— [Rick's communicator farts; Rick teleports out] NOOOOO—!
Mr. Mxyzptlk: You, my friend, are the ultimate challenge! We're going to have very merry games, you and I!
Superman: A game has rules! Your stunts are just random idiocy!
Mr. Mxyzptlk: Okay, I'll give you a rule! If you can make me say, spell or otherwise reveal my name backwards then I'll split, until our dimensions come into alignment again in... oh, three months, give or take.
Superman: I can't even say your name forwards — how am I supposed to say it backwards?
Mr. Mxyzptlk: No, dope, you don't have to say it, you have to get me to say it!
Superman: Say what?
Mr. Mxyzptlk: Kltpzyxm! Gosh, you're thick! Now, for the last time... ah, nuts! [poof]
Superman: A game has rules! Your stunts are just random idiocy!
Mr. Mxyzptlk: Okay, I'll give you a rule! If you can make me say, spell or otherwise reveal my name backwards then I'll split, until our dimensions come into alignment again in... oh, three months, give or take.
Superman: I can't even say your name forwards — how am I supposed to say it backwards?
Mr. Mxyzptlk: No, dope, you don't have to say it, you have to get me to say it!
Superman: Say what?
Mr. Mxyzptlk: Kltpzyxm! Gosh, you're thick! Now, for the last time... ah, nuts! [poof]
