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The Star Wars Saga
Turmoil has engulfed the Galactic Republic. The taxation of trade routes to outlying star systems is in dispute.
Hoping to resolve the matter with a blockade of deadly battleships, the greedy Trade Federation has stopped all shipping to the small planet of Naboo.
While the Congress of the Republic endlessly debates this alarming chain of events, the Supreme Chancellor has secretly dispatched two Jedi Knights, the guardians of peace and justice in the galaxy, to settle the conflict....
Hoping to resolve the matter with a blockade of deadly battleships, the greedy Trade Federation has stopped all shipping to the small planet of Naboo.
While the Congress of the Republic endlessly debates this alarming chain of events, the Supreme Chancellor has secretly dispatched two Jedi Knights, the guardians of peace and justice in the galaxy, to settle the conflict....
There is unrest in the Galactic Senate. Several thousand solar systems have declared their intentions to leave the Republic.
The separatist movement, under the leadership of the mysterious Count Dooku, has made it difficult for the limited number of Jedi Knights to maintain peace and order in the galaxy.
Senator Amidala, the former Queen of Naboo, is returning to the Galactic Senate to vote on the critical issue of creating an ARMY OF THE REPUBLIC to assist the overwhelmed Jedi....
The separatist movement, under the leadership of the mysterious Count Dooku, has made it difficult for the limited number of Jedi Knights to maintain peace and order in the galaxy.
Senator Amidala, the former Queen of Naboo, is returning to the Galactic Senate to vote on the critical issue of creating an ARMY OF THE REPUBLIC to assist the overwhelmed Jedi....
War! The Republic is crumbling under attacks by the ruthless Sith Lord, Count Dooku. There are heroes on both sides. Evil is everywhere.
In a stunning move, the fiendish droid leader, General Grievous, has swept into the Republic capital and kidnapped Chancellor Palpatine, leader of the Galactic Senate.
As the Separatist Droid Army attempts to flee the besieged capital with their valuable hostage, two Jedi Knights lead a desperate mission to rescue the captive Chancellor....
In a stunning move, the fiendish droid leader, General Grievous, has swept into the Republic capital and kidnapped Chancellor Palpatine, leader of the Galactic Senate.
As the Separatist Droid Army attempts to flee the besieged capital with their valuable hostage, two Jedi Knights lead a desperate mission to rescue the captive Chancellor....
It is a period of civil war. Rebel spaceships, striking from a hidden base, have won their first victory against the evil Galactic Empire.
During the battle, Rebel spies managed to steal secret plans to the Empire's ultimate weapon, the DEATH STAR, an armored space station with enough power to destroy an entire planet.
Pursued by the Empire's sinister agents, Princess Leia races home aboard her starship, custodian of the stolen plans that can save her people and restore freedom to the galaxy....
During the battle, Rebel spies managed to steal secret plans to the Empire's ultimate weapon, the DEATH STAR, an armored space station with enough power to destroy an entire planet.
Pursued by the Empire's sinister agents, Princess Leia races home aboard her starship, custodian of the stolen plans that can save her people and restore freedom to the galaxy....
It is a dark time for the rebellion. Although the Death Star has been destroyed, Imperial troops have driven the Rebel forces from their hidden base and pursued them across the galaxy.
Evading the dreaded Imperial Starfleet, a group of freedom fighters led by Luke Skywalker has established a new secret base on the remote ice world of Hoth.
The evil lord Darth Vader, obsessed with finding young Skywalker, has dispatched thousands of remote probes into the far reaches of space....
Evading the dreaded Imperial Starfleet, a group of freedom fighters led by Luke Skywalker has established a new secret base on the remote ice world of Hoth.
The evil lord Darth Vader, obsessed with finding young Skywalker, has dispatched thousands of remote probes into the far reaches of space....
Luke Skywalker has returned to his home planet of Tatooine in an attempt to rescue his friend Han Solo from the clutches of the vile gangster Jabba the Hutt.
Little does Luke know that the GALACTIC EMPIRE has secretly begun construction on a new armored space station even more powerful than the first dreaded Death Star.
When completed, this ultimate weapon will spell certain doom for the small band of rebels struggling to restore freedom to the galaxy....
Little does Luke know that the GALACTIC EMPIRE has secretly begun construction on a new armored space station even more powerful than the first dreaded Death Star.
When completed, this ultimate weapon will spell certain doom for the small band of rebels struggling to restore freedom to the galaxy....
Luke Skywalker has vanished. In his absence, the sinister FIRST ORDER has risen from the ashes of the Empire and will not rest until Skywalker, the last Jedi, has been destroyed.
With the support of the Republic, General Leia Organa leads a brave RESISTANCE. She is desperate to find her brother Luke and gain his help in restoring peace and justice to the galaxy.
Leia has sent her most daring pilot on a secret mission to Jakku, where an old ally has discovered a clue to Luke's whereabouts....
With the support of the Republic, General Leia Organa leads a brave RESISTANCE. She is desperate to find her brother Luke and gain his help in restoring peace and justice to the galaxy.
Leia has sent her most daring pilot on a secret mission to Jakku, where an old ally has discovered a clue to Luke's whereabouts....
The FIRST ORDER reigns. Having decimated the peaceful Republic, Supreme Leader Snoke now deploys his merciless legions to seize military control of the galaxy.
Only General Leia Organa's band of RESISTANCE fighters stand against the rising tyranny, certain that Jedi Master Luke Skywalker will return and restore a spark of hope to the fight.
But the Resistance has been exposed. As the First Order speeds toward the rebel base, the brave heroes mount a desperate escape....
Only General Leia Organa's band of RESISTANCE fighters stand against the rising tyranny, certain that Jedi Master Luke Skywalker will return and restore a spark of hope to the fight.
But the Resistance has been exposed. As the First Order speeds toward the rebel base, the brave heroes mount a desperate escape....
The dead speak! The galaxy has heard a mysterious broadcast, a threat of REVENGE in the sinister voice of the late EMPEROR PALPATINE.
GENERAL LEIA ORGANA dispatches secret agents to gather intelligence, while REY, the last hope of the Jedi, trains for battle against the diabolical FIRST ORDER.
Meanwhile, Supreme Leader KYLO REN rages in search of the phantom Emperor, determined to destroy any threat to his power....
GENERAL LEIA ORGANA dispatches secret agents to gather intelligence, while REY, the last hope of the Jedi, trains for battle against the diabolical FIRST ORDER.
Meanwhile, Supreme Leader KYLO REN rages in search of the phantom Emperor, determined to destroy any threat to his power....
Family Guy Presents "Laugh It Up, Fuzzball"
It is a time of civil war, and renegade paragraphs floating through space.
There's cool space battles, and the bad guy is the good guy's dad, but you don't find that out 'til the next episode.
And the hot chick is really the sister of the good guy, but they don't know it, and they kiss. Which is kind of messed up. I mean, what if they had done it instead of just kissed?
Angelina Jolie kissed her brother. Yeah, she did. You know it, I know it, and her dad knows it. That's why they hardly ever talk anymore. You can run away to Africa, but you can't run away from the truth.
Oh, by the way, here's a tip for you: when this is over, go out and rent the movie "Gia." She’s way naked in it, and makes out with another chick and everything. It's awesome. I stumbled across it late at night on HBO after I had just got back from hockey, and I almost fainted. But I digest...
Princess Leia was coming back from buying space groceries when this happened...
There's cool space battles, and the bad guy is the good guy's dad, but you don't find that out 'til the next episode.
And the hot chick is really the sister of the good guy, but they don't know it, and they kiss. Which is kind of messed up. I mean, what if they had done it instead of just kissed?
Angelina Jolie kissed her brother. Yeah, she did. You know it, I know it, and her dad knows it. That's why they hardly ever talk anymore. You can run away to Africa, but you can't run away from the truth.
Oh, by the way, here's a tip for you: when this is over, go out and rent the movie "Gia." She’s way naked in it, and makes out with another chick and everything. It's awesome. I stumbled across it late at night on HBO after I had just got back from hockey, and I almost fainted. But I digest...
Princess Leia was coming back from buying space groceries when this happened...
It is a dark time for the Rebellion. Although the Death Star has been destroyed, Imperial troops have driven the Rebel forces from their hidden base and pursued them across the galaxy. But you know this story.
What you may not know is that 20th Century Fox had so little faith in the "Star Wars" franchise that they let George Lucas keep the merchandising rights.
Are you listening, stockholders? How can you invest in a company that makes such short-sighted decisions? I mean, this is the same company that cancelled "Family Guy" twice. Who's running that joint? Monkeys? I mean, if they're gonna be that foolish with their money, I guess that means we can be foolish with their money, too. Like spending much of it to animate a computer-generated cartoon elephant that has nothing to do with the rest of the episode.
(a computer-generated cartoon elephant prances across the screen)
Did you see that? Know what that cost? $58,000. I mean, what a waste. It wasn't even that funny. That $58,000 that could have gone to curing leukemia. Or muscular dystrophy. Or...what does Michael J. Fox have? That. Alright, let's watch some damn cartoons.
What you may not know is that 20th Century Fox had so little faith in the "Star Wars" franchise that they let George Lucas keep the merchandising rights.
Are you listening, stockholders? How can you invest in a company that makes such short-sighted decisions? I mean, this is the same company that cancelled "Family Guy" twice. Who's running that joint? Monkeys? I mean, if they're gonna be that foolish with their money, I guess that means we can be foolish with their money, too. Like spending much of it to animate a computer-generated cartoon elephant that has nothing to do with the rest of the episode.
(a computer-generated cartoon elephant prances across the screen)
Did you see that? Know what that cost? $58,000. I mean, what a waste. It wasn't even that funny. That $58,000 that could have gone to curing leukemia. Or muscular dystrophy. Or...what does Michael J. Fox have? That. Alright, let's watch some damn cartoons.
Luke Skywalker has returned to his home planet of Tatooine in order to— okay, you know what, we don't even care. We were not even thinking of doing this one. Fox made us do it. When we did "Blue Harvest", they said, "Oh, you guys are crazy." They tried to talk us out of it, and it ended up making a ton of money. By then we were just finishing up "Empire", and we were absolutely exhausted. But Fox suddenly had dollar signs in their eyes, and they said, "Seth, if you don't do 'Jedi', we're not gonna let you leave to go direct your movie.
I'm sorry. I took a muscle relaxer earlier and it's kicking in. I'm just so stressed because there's been a car parked in front of my house for three straight days and there's a pillow in the back seat. And I've never seen anyone get in or out of it, but it moves a couple feet one way or the other each day. Wouldn't it be funny if it was a bunch of raccoons living in there, moving it? You know, with their little paws on the steering wheel? And then another one working the break and the gas? And the steering wheel raccoon and the pedal raccoon have to talk back and forth to each other 'cause the break pedal guy can't see the road? I'm gonna keep thinking that, 'cause I know really it's probably a car bum.
Look, just do me a huge favor and lower your expectations, okay? Just this one time. I promise I'll make it up to you. I mean, "Star Wars", fine. "Empire" — still not bad. But on this one we ran out of gas. Seriously, we let the assistants write it. Hell, even the Fed Ex guy got a joke in, and he calls the baby "Steve." Anyway, here's "Return of the Jedi" starring Steve as Darth Vader.
I'm sorry. I took a muscle relaxer earlier and it's kicking in. I'm just so stressed because there's been a car parked in front of my house for three straight days and there's a pillow in the back seat. And I've never seen anyone get in or out of it, but it moves a couple feet one way or the other each day. Wouldn't it be funny if it was a bunch of raccoons living in there, moving it? You know, with their little paws on the steering wheel? And then another one working the break and the gas? And the steering wheel raccoon and the pedal raccoon have to talk back and forth to each other 'cause the break pedal guy can't see the road? I'm gonna keep thinking that, 'cause I know really it's probably a car bum.
Look, just do me a huge favor and lower your expectations, okay? Just this one time. I promise I'll make it up to you. I mean, "Star Wars", fine. "Empire" — still not bad. But on this one we ran out of gas. Seriously, we let the assistants write it. Hell, even the Fed Ex guy got a joke in, and he calls the baby "Steve." Anyway, here's "Return of the Jedi" starring Steve as Darth Vader.
Gavin: It's actually blown my mind that it's way in the past and really far away. They should have put that in the beginning of the movie!
Geoff, Michael, Jack, Ryan, Jeremy: THEY DID!
Geoff, Michael, Jack, Ryan, Jeremy: THEY DID!
—Achievement Hunter, "Let's Play Star Wars: Battlefront 2
