Quotes / Not Screened for Critics

Battletoads, before you consider exciting yourself over the emergence of the most long awaited game in Amiga history, is cack. Our seeds of suspicion that this might be the case were sown by the fact that Mindscape did not even see fit to send us a review copy. Were they just have a busy week? Had they just forgotten? Or does it rather suggest that they thought if they put it in a nice box and got it into the shops before we at AP had a chance to dissuade you otherwise, it might just sell? (Who can tell? – Ed).

— Rich Pelley, Amiga Power

Savvy readers of the Globe's Saturday Living/Arts section will note a code in this space as well. Whenever a movie that opens Friday is not reviewed on that day, it generally means the company releasing the movie does not want anyone hearing about this mega-stinker on opening day, thereby giving the public one day to shell out moolah before the boom is lowered.

— Jim Sullivan, Boston Globe, review of The Omega Code

Make no mistake: Ubisoft didn't release the game this way unknowingly. They hurled garbage at the market, and they prevented reviewers from warning people to duck. Embargoes forbade sites from publishing reviews until up to 12 hours after the game was released. Rule 1 of buying things is: if they don't want you to check it out before you buy it, it's a con. Always. Always.
It is a con.
They knew the game was unfinished and consciously decided to sell it anyway, counting on players to just put up with patching. Ubisoft's strategy was "a lot of people will buy it right away just because it says Assassin's Creed on the cover." So instead of fixing the problem they silenced anyone who could warn others. That's not marketing, that's a cyberpunk corporate villain plot.

— Cracked, 7 Reasons 'Assassin's Creed' Is the Least Playable Game Ever

"It never speaks well of the game in question that a publisher is outright unwilling to hand it to critics. Ride to Hell: Retribution is one of only two games I've known of that reviewers have had to purchase themselves, and it's evident within seconds why."

— Jim Sterling, Destructoid

Reviewers said this game we'd all adore
But nobody knew about the Xbox One and PS4

— Jim Sterling, A Song of Cyberpunk

"Yeah, you got some 10s from a bunch of pussy-ass sellout reviewers nobody gives a fuck about, but now it's time for a real guy to play the game. You know, somebody that was strategically selected to not recieve the game early because I actually criticize games from time to time. So are these fucking limp dick critics that don't know shit about video games just being stupid again? ...No, it's actually really good."

—videogamedunkey on God of War (PS4)

I was reading up on all the information this morning, and I, like, couldn't find any reviews, and I literally found people, like, posting everywhere, they were like, "Why aren't there any reviews?! What is wrong with this game?!"... They were like, "Is it good? I don't know!"

— Egoraptor, on Sonic Boom: Rise of Lyric's use of this, ''Sonic Boom: Caught in a Loop - PART 2 - Game Grumps

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