Comic Books
Tony Stark: Sorry, Larry. Could you repeat the question? Shannon Elizabeth just made me laugh and I think some of this Bollinger '69 went up my nose.
Larry: Sure, I was wondering if being CEO of Stark International may interfere with your Iron Man duties in the Ultimates, but I think you already answered my question, Tony.
Larry: Sure, I was wondering if being CEO of Stark International may interfere with your Iron Man duties in the Ultimates, but I think you already answered my question, Tony.
Fan Works
Kokoa: I'm sorry, Gin. I didn't mean to hurt her so badly.
Felucia: You were chasing me in the halls to slaughter her in your rage. To an observer, it would seem like you were trying to kill her.
Felucia: You were chasing me in the halls to slaughter her in your rage. To an observer, it would seem like you were trying to kill her.
Film — Animated
"Please listen to me! You can't do this to me. This job is my LIFE! It means everything to me! You don't KNOW WHAT I'VE DONE TO GET HERE!! THE LIES I'VE TOLD, THE LIVES I'VE RUINED!!!!! ...This isn't helping me.
— Ratchet, Robots
Susan: But I'm not a monster! I'm just a regular person! I'm not a danger to anyone or anything! (accidentally backhands a chopper, causing it to crash)
Pilot: Don't let her get me!
Susan: Sorry!
Pilot: Don't let her get me!
Susan: Sorry!
Film — Live-Action
"Just because you see a black man with a nice car does not mean it's stolen. [pause] Alright, I stole that one, but not because I'm black."
— Agent J, Men in Black 3
Marcus Duncan: You stole the idea for this movie from a 13-year-old boy?
Marty Wolf: Well, he's, um, he's 14.
Marty Wolf: Well, he's, um, he's 14.
Police Officer: You're under arrest!
Scott Lang: I didn't steal anything! I was returning something I stole! [groans]
Scott Lang: I didn't steal anything! I was returning something I stole! [groans]
— Ant-Man
Literature
He explained the situation. He was not Lister the inmate, he was from an alternate reality. He hadn't done anything wrong if you didn't count ringleading a breakout and helping half the inmates to escape from the penal colony, semi-destroying the complex and single-handedly setting out to destroy the system of justice that controlled the entire asteroid belt. If you didn't count that, they had nothing on him. Sadly for Lister, they did count that. All of it.
— Red Dwarf: Last Human
“That last clip isn’t even real!” I told Leeni when it was over. “It was from a movie!”
“What is a movie?” Leeni asked me.
“It’s entertainment. A made-up story. For fun. That clip of the woman getting killed was totally fake! She was an actor—she didn’t even get hurt in real life!”
Leeni fixed his big compound eyes on me. “Humans find it entertaining to watch each other die in horrible ways? That is fun for you?”
When he put it that way, I did have to admit it sounded a little questionable.
“What is a movie?” Leeni asked me.
“It’s entertainment. A made-up story. For fun. That clip of the woman getting killed was totally fake! She was an actor—she didn’t even get hurt in real life!”
Leeni fixed his big compound eyes on me. “Humans find it entertaining to watch each other die in horrible ways? That is fun for you?”
When he put it that way, I did have to admit it sounded a little questionable.
Live-Action TV
Chidi: So your job was to defraud the elderly. Sorry, the sick and elderly.
Eleanor: But I was very good at it. I was the top salesperson five years running.
Chidi: Okay, but that's worse. I mean, you... you do get how that's worse, right?
Eleanor: But I was very good at it. I was the top salesperson five years running.
Chidi: Okay, but that's worse. I mean, you... you do get how that's worse, right?
Can we please dispense with the ritual of making your wife sit next to you while you deny sexual assault allegations? It's a horrible thing to do to a woman while you're trying to prove you don't do horrible things to women.
Music
"Why don't they talk about my relationships with presidents? With people of culture? Why do they always talk about my mob associations?" And then he said, "Oh, by the way, Alan, say hello to Willie the Nose, Hymie the Hook, Nick the Knife–" I started to laugh, and he bristled. "What are you laughing at?!" "Nothing, Frank," I said. "Nothing."
— Alan King on Frank Sinatra, Name Dropping — The Life and Lies of Alan King
Video Games
"Ah, come on, it's not bad once you get used to it."
"Well, maybe I just haven't gotten used to it, cause I'd rather be locked in an outhouse for a week than spend another day on this floating deathtrap."
"Deathtrap? We've only had six fatalities this month!"
"See what I mean? You've been up here way too long. It's not normal for healthy adults to die off at that rate."
"Well, maybe I just haven't gotten used to it, cause I'd rather be locked in an outhouse for a week than spend another day on this floating deathtrap."
"Deathtrap? We've only had six fatalities this month!"
"See what I mean? You've been up here way too long. It's not normal for healthy adults to die off at that rate."
—No One Lives Forever, "Low Earth Orbit"
Webcomics
Rikku: Have you been sitting here the entire time, just waiting for me to wake up? ...That's kinda creepy...
Da Vinci: Of course not. I calculated that you'd be waking up about now and came in about five minutes ago.
Rikku: Right, because that's totally not also creepy...
Da Vinci: Of course not. I calculated that you'd be waking up about now and came in about five minutes ago.
Rikku: Right, because that's totally not also creepy...
Gray Mann: Unlike you two pampered imbeciles, I built my empire. I have studied. I have plotted. I have waited. And for a hundred-and-fifty years I have watched you squander my father's fortune. For Gods' sake, you bought the Alamo and flew it to New Mexico. For a meeting.
Redmond Mann: Well, technically we rented it...
Redmond Mann: Well, technically we rented it...
Web Original
"I know! I'll have my client go on national TV prior to his trial to be grilled by Bob Costas so we can all witness him declare, ‘I enjoy young people,' after searching blankly for the proper response to the question ‘Are you sexually attracted to young boys?' as if Costas just asked him where he put his car keys."
—Drew Magary on Jerry Sandusky's lawyer
Bill really asked the wealthy and famous men in the world to come together and stop the #MeToo movement–which was started by a black woman, but is racist. Only Bill Cosby would think to use Harvey Weinstein as a jumping off point to bring up himself. Harvey should expect R. Kelly‘s stamp of support next. It’ll just take a bit longer since he can’t read.
—Dlisted
, "Bill Cosby Sent Harvey Weinstein Love and Support"
, "Bill Cosby Sent Harvey Weinstein Love and Support"It's worth noting that his first response to the news site that labeled him a pimp was to threaten to "Come down there and slap the shit out everyone I see", which we admit doesn't at all sound like something a pimp would say.
Here's me living for the day the mainstream media understands that video games aren't just mindless violence for twelve-year-old future Unabombers, and Mortal Kombat isn't helping my case. It's like a sitcom moment wherein Character X defends the intelligence of Character Y while in the background Character Y is busy snorting Drano off the back of an enraged lioness.
Western Animation
"You know, I've been known to "take it easy" now and again. You might even say I'm something of an expert. So maybe I'm wrong, but I don't think Malina here is "taking it easy". I mean, look at the signs. Bulgy eyes, flary nostrils, scary teeth. She kinda looks like Pacha does when I use his poncho as a bath towel."
—The Emperor's New School, "Girls Behaving Oddly"
Reg: Get outta here. This place is too tough for you, little man.
Spongebob: Too tough for me? That's downright ridiculous! I'll have you know I stubbed my toe last week while watering my spice garden, and I only cried for twenty minutes.
Spongebob: Too tough for me? That's downright ridiculous! I'll have you know I stubbed my toe last week while watering my spice garden, and I only cried for twenty minutes.
Wild West: Brian, is there anything you want to say about the Baby Jesus-shaped dent in the hood of your car?
Brian: Oh, come on, that doesn't prove anything. That could be any baby I hit with my car.
Brian: Oh, come on, that doesn't prove anything. That could be any baby I hit with my car.
—Family Guy episode "Christmas Crime"
Iron Man: The Mandarin wants us to think you're working for him and you're helping him make his case by refusing to account for your whereabouts.
— Iron Man: The Animated Series, "The Defection of Hawkeye"
