"Nepotism belongs in the arts, not in plumbing."
— Queen Clarisse Renaldi, The Princess Diaries
"While a visionary will lead us to some amazing accomplishments, some yutz who was put in charge only because he's somebody's brother-in-law will lead to an event that'll make Jackass 3D look like Schindler's List."
Would a son of a colonel be able to become a general?
No, because the general has a son of his own.
The hiring of Adam Dwyer by Merck Pharmaceutical was described Monday by CEO James Dwyer as "tremendously synergistic." "With his impressive range of experiences, including one and a half years of bartending and four years of heavy pharmaceutical use at the University of Delaware, Adam brings a lot to the table," Dwyer said of his nephew.
His brother is his right hand man
(He's never worked before)
His father earns twelve grand a yearnote
(He's paid to shut the door)
His mother is a filing clerk
His sister mans the telephone
(A chimp is twice as bright)
— MAD, nursery rhyme parody about a congressman.
Cera: [Hiroko's] doing quite well.
Masae: I'm really glad. I don't want anyone to say I pulled her in because she's my niece. For her sake as well...
Cera: Everyone in the club knows that, but I guess it can't be helped that only results matter to those on the outside. FunaQ should be aware of that, too.
— Saki Achiga-hen, regarding efforts to avoid accusations of this trope.
"After all, the whole Barrayaran Vor system runs on nepotism. It's not a vice for us, it's a lifestyle."
—Lord Auditor Vorkosigan, Komarr
Jerry Jarrett once told me that if he ever made the mistake with Jeff that Nick Gulas did with George to tell him to bend over and kick him in the ass. Well, he did, and one day I told him to bend over and he never treated me the same after that.
—Bill Dundee, If You Don't Want the Answer, Don't Ask the Question
"Some men are born great, some achieve greatness, and some get it as a graduation gift, that's okay!"
— Robin Williams, Live on Broadway
"Sales Tactics" is accidentally the most revealing extra here, as it looks at the trouble Richie Minervini has in delivering his lines for one small scene. For those who don't know, Minervini's acting career consists almost entirely of films by [Kevin] James, as the two are friends from James' stand-up days. That he cannot get a simple line out yet has been in six James films...draw your own conclusions as to the quality of the productions.
The hilarious thing about Hank's getting "fired" from ESPN for comparing President Obama to Hitler is... Exactly what the fuck did he get "fired" from? His "job" consisted of wearing sunglasses indoors and spending a few days each year recutting that god-awful Monday Night Football song he wrote twenty-seven years ago (a song that wasn't even originally written for that program). Welfare recipients have fifty times the annual workload of this man.
—Drew Magary
on Hank Williams Jr., "The 25 Least Influential People of 2011"
on Hank Williams Jr., "The 25 Least Influential People of 2011"No wonder half the fanbase is missing all their teeth.◊ That’s your head of analytics, gang. I wonder how the son of the owner got THAT job! Join us a month from now when the entire Jaguars team dies of measles. I can picture Khan running into the team war room with a scribbled chart and screaming, “I JUST FOUND OUT THAT FORWARD PASSES CAUSE TUMORS!” Real team of the future shit. I assume the pool at Everbank has been treated with non-fluoridated water, to preserve all the precious bodily fluids contained therein.
◊ That’s your head of analytics, gang. I wonder how the son of the owner got THAT job! Join us a month from now when the entire Jaguars team dies of measles. I can picture Khan running into the team war room with a scribbled chart and screaming, “I JUST FOUND OUT THAT FORWARD PASSES CAUSE TUMORS!” Real team of the future shit. I assume the pool at Everbank has been treated with non-fluoridated water, to preserve all the precious bodily fluids contained therein.—Drew Magary, "Why Your Team Sucks 2015!: Jacksonville Jaguars"
, "Why Your Team Sucks 2015!: Jacksonville Jaguars"I don't care what talk show she appears on: you don't take medical advice from Jenny McCarthy. Even more importantly, if you're in charge of these things, definitely don't let her give that advice on the most influential daytime talk show in television history. Unfortunately, trusting her famous friends over modern medicine is kind of Oprah's thing.
Girls may be making its most profound point about shiftless, directionless Generation Y behind the scenes, as all four of the principal stars are the daughters of successful, Boomerish parents. And not just any old sort of blandly successful banker and lawyer parents — these are men and women who've achieved a level of fame in the overlapping art and entertainment worlds. Dunham and her cast, however engaging you think they are or are not on screen, are proof of the trouble millennials have disentangling themselves from the success of their immediate progenitors.
It's so not fair! I mean, why am I still on sock detail when Gladys from Accounting got promoted to Commander, and she doesn't even know how to hold a blaster? No, I mean, really, she failed that part of the exam four times. She held it backwards and upside down. But no, she's a second cousin of some midlevel Darth, and so she gets a promotion? What about me?
— Candace Flynn, Phineas and Ferb: Star Wars
Ooh, they've got the best ethics laws. Nepotism is strictly disallowed. (Except for family members. And sexy turtles.)
—Auto-Tune the News #10: Turtles., Auto-Tune the News #10: Turtles. - YouTube
"One clue your enrollment may not be entirely merit-based: when your acceptance letter comes with a receipt."
— Bill Maher, Real Time with Bill Maher
"You may know me daughter, Pearl. She's growing up fast. It seems like it was just yesterday, I was teaching her how to breach. Me mammalian angel. Oh... Anyway, uh... So, she's going to be working here during her summer vacation. She's got a lot of fresh ideas to bring in some hungry customers!"
— Mr. Krabs, SpongeBob SquarePants, "Bossy Boots"
Dark Helmet: Careful you idiot! I said across her nose, not up it!
Cross-eyed Gunner: Sorry sir! I'm doing my best!
Dark Helmet: Who made that man a gunner!?
Cross-eyed Officer: I did, sir! He's my cousin.
Dark Helmet, to Colonel Sandurz: Who's he?
Colonel Sandurz: He's an Asshole, sir.
Dark Helmet: I know that! What's his name?
Colonel Sandurz: That is his name, sir: Asshole. Major Asshole.
Dark Helmet: And his cousin?
Colonel Sandurz: He's an Asshole, too, sir: Gunner's Mate First-Class, Phillip Asshole.
Dark Helmet: How many Assholes have we got on this ship, anyway?
[Entire bridge crew (save one) stands up at attention]: YO!
Dark Helmet: I knew it: I'm surrounded by assholes. [Beat. Pulls down helmet mask] Keep firing, Assholes!
Cross-eyed Gunner: Sorry sir! I'm doing my best!
Dark Helmet: Who made that man a gunner!?
Cross-eyed Officer: I did, sir! He's my cousin.
Dark Helmet, to Colonel Sandurz: Who's he?
Colonel Sandurz: He's an Asshole, sir.
Dark Helmet: I know that! What's his name?
Colonel Sandurz: That is his name, sir: Asshole. Major Asshole.
Dark Helmet: And his cousin?
Colonel Sandurz: He's an Asshole, too, sir: Gunner's Mate First-Class, Phillip Asshole.
Dark Helmet: How many Assholes have we got on this ship, anyway?
[Entire bridge crew (save one) stands up at attention]: YO!
Dark Helmet: I knew it: I'm surrounded by assholes. [Beat. Pulls down helmet mask] Keep firing, Assholes!
Bouc: Ah, you only have me for an hour. I ride on the Orient Express at 7—official "director" business. Uncle pays me absurdly to stay onboard his gorgeous train and far away from him at the home office, consigned to wine and dine handsome officials for all eternity. There is an art to nepotism.
Poirot: And you are its Michaelangelo!
