"CAN YOU FEEL THE BONE-CHILLING HORROR AS HE CHANGES HIS RAT'S SAWDUST!?"
Gypsy: [singing] Have you ever touched a Post-it Note?
Have you ever looked at boots?
Have you ever sat down in a chair?
Have you ever used a paper clip?
Have you ever looked at boots?
Have you ever sat down in a chair?
Have you ever used a paper clip?
"That fatal flaw in high-tech-based movies is the critical scene when the guy works on the computer. In Swordfish, they actually tried to make it look cool with a fast-paced jump-cut montage of [Hugh Jackman] as he programs to very loud DJ mixes. Dress it up and make it dance, but it's still a guy on a computer."
— Kevin Murphy, A Year at the Movies
"Calm down, music."
— Mike Nelson chiding the overblown, dramatic score during a sequence in Krull where a giant spider is hanging around not doing much of anything, RiffTrax
"Everything in “Quest for Fire” is writ large, but doesn’t quite deserve to be. That disconnect places the song pretty high on the unintentional comedy scale, but that’s also what makes it so entertaining."
— Top One Million, review
of Iron Maiden's "Quest for Fire"
of Iron Maiden's "Quest for Fire""He made that scene last, what, five minutes? And all we do is stand there and stare at each other with the music blaring on the soundtrack. It's one of the most impressive scenes I've ever seen, let alone been involved in."
"You know something bad's about to happen when the slow-motion grocery carrying kicks in."
— Obscurus Lupa on Lady Dragon 2
"As much as it pained me to watch John Glover being shorn of his magnificent Mane of Power, I liked that the producers understood that it was basically the defining element of his character, and that cutting it off was a really big deal. It’s almost like they’re in on the joke, even if it does come in this completely ridiculous scene where a burly dude in a wifebeater comes into the cell and Lionel goes 'do it' as the classical music kicks in.
—Chris Sims and David Uzumeri on Smallville ("Covenant")
Smallville ("Covenant")"This concern with embellishing reality is undoubtedly a sign of pride; but then, how one wishes sometimes that writers had a little more pride! And besides, isn't there more pride (and a lot more silliness too) in the way some authors tell the most insignificant events of their lives exactly the way they happened, naively convinced as they are that everything they have experienced is, because of this alone, full of interest and poetry?"
— René Pommier in his analysis of the last lines of Chateaubriand's Mémoires d'Outre-Tombe
of the last lines of Chateaubriand's Mémoires d'Outre-Tombe"EPIC MUSIC. Seriously, you're talking about video games. If you're going to use ridiculous music, then you might as well act enthused so it matches."
"Who wants PIZZA ROLLS?!" [theme music begins blaring]
— Doctor Orpheus, The Venture Brothers
"Quiet, son! I'm making... *large field of electricity crackles* toast!"
— Professor Membrane, Invader Zim
"Hey, guys! Have you heard the news? There’s a sweet new Muppet product coming out that every Muppet fan is going to want to own! It’s a COLORING BOOK!
That’s right! That’s what I said! A COLORING BOOK! I even said it in all-caps like that: COLORING BOOK! Sure, it’s a shame that we haven’t seen much of the Muppets since their TV show got cancelled, outside of a few YouTube videos. But with this COLORING BOOK, you can have the Muppets in your hands all the time!
Think of the possibilities: You can use crayons OR colored pencils! You can color Miss Piggy’s face! And then you can color Gonzo’s nose! And if you really want to get crazy and have a thrill, you could color Kermit PURPLE! Ha ha! Or Fozzie BLUE! Wooo!
Boy oh boy! I don’t know about you, but I can’t wait for… for…
Okay, I can’t keep this up. It’s a coloring book. It’s neat and everything, but it’s a coloring book. You know?"
That’s right! That’s what I said! A COLORING BOOK! I even said it in all-caps like that: COLORING BOOK! Sure, it’s a shame that we haven’t seen much of the Muppets since their TV show got cancelled, outside of a few YouTube videos. But with this COLORING BOOK, you can have the Muppets in your hands all the time!
Think of the possibilities: You can use crayons OR colored pencils! You can color Miss Piggy’s face! And then you can color Gonzo’s nose! And if you really want to get crazy and have a thrill, you could color Kermit PURPLE! Ha ha! Or Fozzie BLUE! Wooo!
Boy oh boy! I don’t know about you, but I can’t wait for… for…
Okay, I can’t keep this up. It’s a coloring book. It’s neat and everything, but it’s a coloring book. You know?"
— A ToughPigs article (posted on April Fools' Day, no less) about a then-soon to be released Muppets coloring book
(posted on April Fools' Day, no less) about a then-soon to be released Muppets coloring book"Stretchy pants?! Why, those are the greatest things in the world! If I were you, I would wear them every day, EVERY DAY!"
—Chandler, Friends
"Somehow, at her reduced scale, with all of her newfound focus, the subtle nuances of the strings straightening, spinning out into faintly new shapes took on a new significance once Mikuru showed her how to do it. A collection of crystals, various powdered substances, some proteins... And then it was transformed through a careful, deliberate process into a new shape, placed intentionally where it would be exposed to higher energies...
At the end of this process, Mikuru had transformed things into cookies, through some amazing, slow, medium-scale fusion that Kuyou was delighted to analyze the intricacies of. She could spend millions of rotations examining it and its nuances, at least!"
At the end of this process, Mikuru had transformed things into cookies, through some amazing, slow, medium-scale fusion that Kuyou was delighted to analyze the intricacies of. She could spend millions of rotations examining it and its nuances, at least!"
"Once you hear this song
Dogs become wolves
House cats become lions
Salamanders become dragons
And everything you do decides the fate of the world"
Dogs become wolves
House cats become lions
Salamanders become dragons
And everything you do decides the fate of the world"
— YouTube user unknown2558isback on Requiem for a Tower
*gaaaasp*
Holy shit! What is this?! Forged in God's very flames,
Do mine eyes tell me lies, a new Elder Scrolls game?!
Time is nigh, I must fly, venture forth on my quest!
Goodbye Ma, goodbye Pa, and goodbye Girlfriend's breasts.
I'll be off, Azeroth, catch you later, Hyrule,
I'll be gone, Albion, I'm no longer your fool!
Other crap filled the gap while I waited to begin...
The adventure of my life in the land of Skyrim!!
Holy shit! What is this?! Forged in God's very flames,
Do mine eyes tell me lies, a new Elder Scrolls game?!
Time is nigh, I must fly, venture forth on my quest!
Goodbye Ma, goodbye Pa, and goodbye Girlfriend's breasts.
I'll be off, Azeroth, catch you later, Hyrule,
I'll be gone, Albion, I'm no longer your fool!
Other crap filled the gap while I waited to begin...
The adventure of my life in the land of Skyrim!!
— Harry Partridge, Skyrim
"Every time you go to the next room, it sounds like an explosion. That's what's so great about Atari, something simple as going through a door is an event!"
— The Angry Video Game Nerd, reviewing Swordquest: Fireworld
JOHN: and all this heavy handed scoring. oh my god. the music makes every little thing into such a federal issue!
JOHN: like... oh man, SOME MINOR CHARACTERS BEING INTRODUCED IN SLOW MOTION! dun-dun dun-dun DUN DUN DUN!!!
— John Egbert, Homestuck
"I'll take a potato chip... AND EAT IT!"
— Light Yagami, Death Note
"You have mastered the piano!!! All others quake in fear at your superhuman keyboard manipulation skill!"
"Damn, that is some epic bread eating. Why can't I ever make sandwiches that good?"
— Ray Hardgrit, Super Adventures in Gaming, review of Septerra Core
Septerra Core"On the GamePad, there's a MICROPHONE!!"
— Xander Mobus, as the the announcer in Super Smash Bros..
"Old and secret she had entered from a morning world, maybe a messenger. She praised the goodness of the milk, pouring it out. Crouching by a patient cow at daybreak in the lush field, a witch on her toadstool, her wrinkled fingers quick at the squirting dugs. They lowed about her whom they knew, dewsilky cattle. Silk of the kine and poor old woman, names given her in old times. A wandering crone, lowly form of an immortal serving her conqueror and her gay betrayer, their common cuckquean, a messenger from the secret morning."
—Ulysses note
Ladies and Gentlemen! You could have been anywhere in the world tonight, but you're here with us in New York City! Are you ready for a cabinet meeting?!
—George Washington, Hamilton
DIE, BACTERIA FUCKS! DIE!
—Katsuki Bakugou washing his teeth, My Hero Academia
I just found...STAIRS!
—Silverstream, due to being a seapony most of her life, My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic
Behold your DEMISE! You LOSE a TURN, with this SKIP CARD!
Harry rolled his eyes. Good God, this was a chance meeting in a crowded bookstore, not an epic showdown in the Old West.
I never thought I'd see it with me own eye... TICKETS TO THE SPONGEBOB MOVIE!
—Pirate Captain, The SpongeBob SquarePants Movie
I TOOOK OUT A CIGARETE END (sic) STARTED TO smoke pot.
—Ebony Dark'ness Dementia Raven Way, My Immortal
Kang: "ARRGH! He's got a board... with a nail in it!"
Moe: "Enslave humanity, will ya?!"
Kang: "Run, Kodos!" (They flee into their ship and fly off.)
Moe: "HAHA!"
Sleep is really amazing, isn't it, Bert?
—Ernie, Sesame Street
Fight that plaque! Fight that plaque! Scary monsters don't have plaque!
—Michael "Mike" Wazowski, to Sully who's brushing his teeth, Monsters, Inc.
I just had sex and it felt so good. A woman let me put my penis inside of her. I just had sex, and I'll never go back to the not-having-sex days of the past.
—The Lonely Island, "I Just Had Sex"
The way it lifts a load makes my heart explode. Its pivoting is riveting to me! It carries weight with such ease it leaves me weak at the knees. I love a lever endlessly!
—Sesame Street, "Lever Lover"
Huxley: "I'm walking!"
Pestie: "The boss is walking! The boss is walking!"
Let's give multiplication a standing ovation!
—Yakko Warner, Animaniacs
"Who knew that the legal world could inspire a whole line of merchandise?"
— Phoenix Wright, Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney – Dual Destinies
May this sharpened edge bring me peace
The truth, freed from the arms of chaos, arrives slowly, methodically
A star in the sky, the Earth rumbles, a drone so sincere
And I’m not frightened, I just am
I’ve got the blade and I’m ready to shave
I’m not afraid, I won’t look away
Like the thunder and flames in a lovers’ embrace
I will clean the slate of the growth, shear the pain away
The truth, freed from the arms of chaos, arrives slowly, methodically
A star in the sky, the Earth rumbles, a drone so sincere
And I’m not frightened, I just am
I’ve got the blade and I’m ready to shave
I’m not afraid, I won’t look away
Like the thunder and flames in a lovers’ embrace
I will clean the slate of the growth, shear the pain away
—Hot Dad as the Chowder Man, "Ready to Shave"
"Why are you sneaking into my house in the middle of the night to make fried rice all dramatic like?! And turn off the damn music! It's bothering the neighbors!"
— Zenzo Hattori, Gintama
Drug tests are mandatory...YOU'RE A WINNER!
— The Lonely Island, "Space Olympics"
Why can’t anime characters play a SINGLE round of any sport normally?
— YouTube user hobbithands, on the racing sequences in DEVILMAN crybaby
This was made in three minutes? By who? A WIZARD?! It looks freshly made! This is the true spirit of steak! I will never turn up my nose at frozen food again!
—Roaming Gourmet on the Frozen Ready Meal, Miitopia
Bert: "Hey, Ernie, what are you doing? It's time to go to bed."
Ernie: "I'm contemplating my toes, Bert."
Bert: "Well—- what!? Contemplating your toes?!"
Ernie: "Yeah, you know, thinking about how really amazing they are?"
Elmo: Hooray for underpants!
Prairie Dawn: Did you just say, 'hooray for underpants'?!
Prairie Dawn: Did you just say, 'hooray for underpants'?!
—Sesame Street, "Elmo's Potty Time"
This music is very dramatic, just for cleaning up a pony.
—Vannamelon, "Fluttershy Plays Weird My Little Pony Games"
"Our conviction was that with the passage of time, even the humblest, simplest diary would turn out to be magical".
—British Museum curator Irving Finkel explaining the rationale behind his project of collecting discarded diaries to preserve for future readers.
Vinnie: Once, I took a train, clear across the country! (cut to a train in motion)
Pepper: That's your interesting story? You rode in a train?
Vinnie: Who said anything about riding IN the train?
(cut back to the train, this time with Vinnie having his tongue stuck on the outside)
Vinnie: HEEEEEELP! AAAAHHH!
Pepper: That's your interesting story? You rode in a train?
Vinnie: Who said anything about riding IN the train?
(cut back to the train, this time with Vinnie having his tongue stuck on the outside)
Vinnie: HEEEEEELP! AAAAHHH!
"TIM IT WAS JUST PICTIONARY"
— Youtube comment on the NES Pictionary title theme.
