"Not everyone can be as everyday normal as ouzelum birds and bandersnatches, can they?"
— Jim, Skin Deep
Tony: Okay, so what are these weirdo shops around here?
Blanche: Oh, well they are just full of the strangest, most magical items ever! Brodie's over there is a mysterious place called a "bakery". They sell bizarre and strange items like "biscuits" and "scones." Oh and over there is an ancient mythical establishment known as a "bookstore." Should I slow down? I know all these unfamiliar terms might be overwhelming.
Blanche: Oh, well they are just full of the strangest, most magical items ever! Brodie's over there is a mysterious place called a "bakery". They sell bizarre and strange items like "biscuits" and "scones." Oh and over there is an ancient mythical establishment known as a "bookstore." Should I slow down? I know all these unfamiliar terms might be overwhelming.
Doc: Guys, I'm ordering lunch. What do you want on a pizza?
Swampy: Fieldmice and groundsquirrel!
Rainman: Lettuce and celery!
Jolly: Fish and pepperoni!
Bandit: Aerosol cheese!
Jinx: Can I get some lemming on my half?
Doc: [into the phone] Right, two of the usual.
Swampy: Fieldmice and groundsquirrel!
Rainman: Lettuce and celery!
Jolly: Fish and pepperoni!
Bandit: Aerosol cheese!
Jinx: Can I get some lemming on my half?
Doc: [into the phone] Right, two of the usual.
Cliff: Nothing goes on in Podunk. That's why they call it Podunk.
Oscar: Said the teen wolf in the haunted house.
Oscar: Said the teen wolf in the haunted house.
"And while we're on the subject of...of you, can you stop coughing up your teeth everywhere? Ok? Because you've gone and fucked up Henry The Hoover
◊. He's knackered. We're on James The Hoover◊ and I don't even know who the fuck that is, but it's disturbing."
◊. He's knackered. We're on James The Hoover
◊ and I don't even know who the fuck that is, but it's disturbing.""The Sheriff's secret police are searching for a fugitive by the name of Hiram McDaniels. Mr. McDaniels is described as a five-headed dragon approximately 18 feet tall and weighing 3600 pounds. He is suspected of insurance fraud."
— Cecil, Welcome to Night Vale
"Bah. If you want to hurt someone with fire, just manipulate thermodynamic differentials with your fingertips, like a normal person."
— Eugene Greenhilt, The Order of the Stick
"Man, real vampires are way less interesting than fictional ones."
— Elan, The Order of the Stick
"It's creepy! It's got the body of a centaur, but the head of a... something else!"
— Princess Cherry encounters a horse, Dragon Mango
"I don't know. It's not like they live in an orbital habitat or on the other side of the planet. They live a long way away."
— Winston, Freefall
"Unicorns aren't anything special. They'd drown on a sunny day if we didn't bring them inside. And sometimes they get their horns stuck in trees and can't get loose, and we have to pull them free."
— Chicory on unicorn husbandry, Across the Green Grass Fields
"Follow me to a place where incredible feats are routine every hour or so/
Where enchantment runs rampant, gets wild in the streets—Open Sesame, here we go!"
Where enchantment runs rampant, gets wild in the streets—Open Sesame, here we go!"
— Opening lines for the intro theme for Aladdin: The Series
Doctor: I'm a doctor!
Angelika: Doesn't that mean you're a Cleric?
Doctor: No, a doctor is a doctor. We look at patients, figure out their problem, and prescribe medicine to fix it.
Angelika: But clerics can heal the sick and injured instantly.
Doctor: Sometimes healing the sick doesn't rely on whining to a god, you know!
Angelika: It does if you want the best results.
Angelika: Doesn't that mean you're a Cleric?
Doctor: No, a doctor is a doctor. We look at patients, figure out their problem, and prescribe medicine to fix it.
Angelika: But clerics can heal the sick and injured instantly.
Doctor: Sometimes healing the sick doesn't rely on whining to a god, you know!
Angelika: It does if you want the best results.
— Our Little Adventure, p.170
Man: What's the most American movie ever made?
Woman: That's easy. Ghostbusters. People discover that there's life beyond the pale of death. So they start a small business and cash in. Most of that film is about buying an office, getting better clientele, fighting government regulators, and increasing your workforce. This is a film where the afterlife is proven to be real, yet there's an entire scene devoted to salary negotiation.
Woman: That's easy. Ghostbusters. People discover that there's life beyond the pale of death. So they start a small business and cash in. Most of that film is about buying an office, getting better clientele, fighting government regulators, and increasing your workforce. This is a film where the afterlife is proven to be real, yet there's an entire scene devoted to salary negotiation.
