Squidward: Then what am I supposed to do, Mr. Krabs? I was almost done mixing this Jell-O!
Mr. Krabs: Jell-O? You were making...Jell-O?
Squidward: Well, yeah. What else would I be doing behind the register at lunchtime?
Mr. Krabs: Arg-arg-arg-arg-arg-arg-arg! Oh...This whole time I thought you were jerking off behind the register! Alright, carry on then.
Patrick: Howdy-ho, Krusty Krew! OH, DEAR NEPTUNE, SQUIDWARD, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!
Squidward: Oh, you know, just busting a nut.
"Linky was on his bed with a dirty magazine and his pants off. He was shaking his hand like this."
“Look.” I could feel my face burning. “If you’re, um...” please God kill me before I have to finish this sentence “having personal time. Then I can come back. It’s not important.”
“What?” And then Jake’s eyes widened. “Oh. I wasn’t.” He looked at the computer, and then back up at me. “I was...” And now he was blushing. Oh, wonderful. “That was just... habit. Reflex. Sorry. I didn’t mean to...”
Flushing even more, he opened the computer and turned the screen around to face me.
I almost slammed my eyes shut before they burned out of my skull, but the screen just showed a forum screen. A fairly harmless one. The topic of discussion appeared to be the extent of the spread of the yeerk invasion at its peak.
And then I finally figured out why he had shut the computer so sharply when I’d interrupted. He’d been looking at intel on the Yeerk Empire. And, just for a second, when I had walked in, he had assumed I was... not myself. Had reacted as if a controller had just stumbled on him reading up on yeerks.
“Sorry,” Jake repeated. “It was just... reflex.”
Well. Now there was a part of me that kind of wished he had in fact been looking at porn. Because even that conversation would have been less awkward than this one was rapidly becoming.
“What?” And then Jake’s eyes widened. “Oh. I wasn’t.” He looked at the computer, and then back up at me. “I was...” And now he was blushing. Oh, wonderful. “That was just... habit. Reflex. Sorry. I didn’t mean to...”
Flushing even more, he opened the computer and turned the screen around to face me.
I almost slammed my eyes shut before they burned out of my skull, but the screen just showed a forum screen. A fairly harmless one. The topic of discussion appeared to be the extent of the spread of the yeerk invasion at its peak.
And then I finally figured out why he had shut the computer so sharply when I’d interrupted. He’d been looking at intel on the Yeerk Empire. And, just for a second, when I had walked in, he had assumed I was... not myself. Had reacted as if a controller had just stumbled on him reading up on yeerks.
“Sorry,” Jake repeated. “It was just... reflex.”
Well. Now there was a part of me that kind of wished he had in fact been looking at porn. Because even that conversation would have been less awkward than this one was rapidly becoming.
— Eleutherophobia: Ghost in the Shell
Dorien: What is he fiddling with down there?
Richard: Oh, come on, Sasha. You'll go blind!
Dorien: What? Oh, surely not.
Richard: It's a Game Boy.
— Birds of a Feather, "Money"
