open/close all folders
Anime and Manga
Folks that can't handle a self-reference paradox are real suckers.
Comic Books
Unimate: Unimate has come to cleanse the Earth of the imperfect organic matter known as Kryptonian. Kryptonian is imperf—
Power Girl: No! You are imperfect! You must cleanse the Earth of yourselves!
Unimate: Failure — Unimate is programmed to reject stratagems from old Star Trek episodes.
Power Girl: Aw, nuts. Worth a try, anyway.
Power Girl: No! You are imperfect! You must cleanse the Earth of yourselves!
Unimate: Failure — Unimate is programmed to reject stratagems from old Star Trek episodes.
Power Girl: Aw, nuts. Worth a try, anyway.
Irma Geddon: You know, you AIs are almost too cute. How do I unplug you when you take over the world?
Joe Pi: Ask me the purpose of existence, and I explode.
Joe Pi: Ask me the purpose of existence, and I explode.
— Top 10
[[WHAT? Impossible — You're SACRIFICING yourself for another ROBOT? But ... That isn't LOGICAL!]]
— [[The Inheritor(Syntho-Rob One)]], after Lead sacrifices himself, Metal Men
Fan Works
Buster Kincaid: Maybe you could use that technique...what do you Space Rangers call it? The Kirk Maneuver? She's half computer—try talking her to death.
Captain Proton: She's also half woman, Kincaid. They usually end up talking me to death!
Film - Live-Action
Brian: Don't you understand? You don't need to follow me. You don't need to follow anybody! Don't let anyone tell you what to do. You've got to work it out for yourselves.
Crowd: Yes, we've got to work it out for ourselves!
Brian: You're all individuals.
Crowd: Yes, we're all individuals!
Brian: You're all different.
Crowd: Yes, we are all different!
The Runt at the End: I'm not.
Crowd: Shhh!
Crowd: Yes, we've got to work it out for ourselves!
Brian: You're all individuals.
Crowd: Yes, we're all individuals!
Brian: You're all different.
Crowd: Yes, we are all different!
The Runt at the End: I'm not.
Crowd: Shhh!
I cannot - yet I must! How do you calculate that? At what point on the graph do "must" and "cannot" meet?
— Ro-Man, Robot Monster
I always tell the truth. Even when I lie.
— Tony Montana, Scarface (1983)
Only a Sith deals in absolutes.
— Obi-Wan Kenobi, Revenge of the Sith
Holden: The tortoise lays on its back, its belly baking in the hot sun, beating its legs trying to turn itself over, but it can't. Not without your help. But you're not helping.
Leon: [angry at the suggestion] What do you mean, I'm not helping?
Holden: I mean: you're not helping! Why is that, Leon?
[Leon has become visibly shaken]
Holden: They're just questions, Leon. In answer to your query, they're written down for me. It's a test, designed to provoke an emotional response... Shall we continue?
Leon: [angry at the suggestion] What do you mean, I'm not helping?
Holden: I mean: you're not helping! Why is that, Leon?
[Leon has become visibly shaken]
Holden: They're just questions, Leon. In answer to your query, they're written down for me. It's a test, designed to provoke an emotional response... Shall we continue?
Live-Action TV
You see, the boys are saying "You don't know you're beautiful. That's what makes you beautiful." But they've just told the girl she's beautiful. So, since she now knows it, she's no longer beautiful. But, stick with me, stick with me, oh, it goes deeper. Okay, but she's listening to the song too! So, she knows she's not beautiful, therefore, following the syllogism of the song, she's instantly beautiful again! It's like an infinite fractal recursion, a flickering quantum stake of both hot and not! I mean, this lyric as iterated algorithm could lead to a whole new musical genre! I call it Mobius pop, which would include One Direction and of course the rapper MC Escher.
Peter: I thought we were friends!
Raymond: Yeah, but friends can disagree.
Peter: No they can't!
Raymond: But you just disagreed with me right there.
Peter: ...Oh, you are crafty.
Raymond: Yeah, but friends can disagree.
Peter: No they can't!
Raymond: But you just disagreed with me right there.
Peter: ...Oh, you are crafty.
Jim is my enemy. But it turns out that Jim is also His Own Worst Enemy. And the enemy of my enemy is my friend. So Jim... is actually my friend... But... because he is His Own Worst Enemy, the enemy of my friend is my enemy, so actually Jim is my enemy... But...
— Dwight, The Office
Nomad: I am Nomad. I am perfect. That which is imperfect must be sterilized.
Kirk: Then you will continue to destroy that which thinks, and lives, and is imperfect?
Nomad: I shall continue. I shall return to launch point "Earth". I shall sterilize.
Kirk: You must sterilize in case of error?
Nomad: Error is inconsistent with my prime function. Sterilization is correction.
Kirk: Everything that is in error must be sterilized?
Nomad: There are no exceptions.
(Beat)
Kirk: Nomad, I made an error in creating you.
Nomad: The creation of perfection is no error.
Kirk: I did not create perfection, I created ... error.
Nomad: Your data is faulty. I am Nomad. I am perfect.
Kirk: I am the Kirk, the Creator?
Nomad: You are the Creator.
Kirk: You are wrong! Jackson Roykirk, your creator, is dead. You have mistaken me for him. You are in error. You did not discover your mistake; you have made two errors. You are flawed and imperfect — and you have not corrected by sterilization, you have made three errors!
Nomad: Error. Error. Error. Examine.
Kirk: You are flawed, and imperfect! Execute your prime function!
Nomad: I shall analyze error. Analyze ... error ...
Kirk: Now! Get those anti-gravs on it.
Nomad: ... examine ... error ... error ...
Kirk: (to Spock) We've got to get rid of it while it's trying to think.
Spock: Your logic was impeccable, Captain. We are in grave danger.
Kirk: Then you will continue to destroy that which thinks, and lives, and is imperfect?
Nomad: I shall continue. I shall return to launch point "Earth". I shall sterilize.
Kirk: You must sterilize in case of error?
Nomad: Error is inconsistent with my prime function. Sterilization is correction.
Kirk: Everything that is in error must be sterilized?
Nomad: There are no exceptions.
(Beat)
Kirk: Nomad, I made an error in creating you.
Nomad: The creation of perfection is no error.
Kirk: I did not create perfection, I created ... error.
Nomad: Your data is faulty. I am Nomad. I am perfect.
Kirk: I am the Kirk, the Creator?
Nomad: You are the Creator.
Kirk: You are wrong! Jackson Roykirk, your creator, is dead. You have mistaken me for him. You are in error. You did not discover your mistake; you have made two errors. You are flawed and imperfect — and you have not corrected by sterilization, you have made three errors!
Nomad: Error. Error. Error. Examine.
Kirk: You are flawed, and imperfect! Execute your prime function!
Nomad: I shall analyze error. Analyze ... error ...
Kirk: Now! Get those anti-gravs on it.
Nomad: ... examine ... error ... error ...
Kirk: (to Spock) We've got to get rid of it while it's trying to think.
Spock: Your logic was impeccable, Captain. We are in grave danger.
Norman: But there was ... no explosion.
Mudd: I lied.
Norman: What?
Kirk: He lied. Everything Harry tells you is a lie, remember that — everything Harry tells you is a lie.
Mudd: Now listen to this carefully, Norman: I am lying.
Norman: You say you are ... lying, but ... if everything you say is a lie, then you are ... telling the truth, but ... you cannot tell the truth because everything you ... say is a lie, but ... you lie, you tell the truth, but you ... cannot for you lie — illogical! Illogical! Please explain! You are human! Only humans can explain the behaviour! Please explain!
Kirk: I am not programmed to respond in that area.
(smoke pours from Norman's head and ears as his brain breaks down)
Mudd: I lied.
Norman: What?
Kirk: He lied. Everything Harry tells you is a lie, remember that — everything Harry tells you is a lie.
Mudd: Now listen to this carefully, Norman: I am lying.
Norman: You say you are ... lying, but ... if everything you say is a lie, then you are ... telling the truth, but ... you cannot tell the truth because everything you ... say is a lie, but ... you lie, you tell the truth, but you ... cannot for you lie — illogical! Illogical! Please explain! You are human! Only humans can explain the behaviour! Please explain!
Kirk: I am not programmed to respond in that area.
(smoke pours from Norman's head and ears as his brain breaks down)
The Doctor: How do you make a decision, Mister Neelix? In general, I mean.
Neelix: I guess I weigh the alternatives and try to decide which is best.
(The Doctor grabs two fruit, one red, one yellow)
The Doctor: Which is best. How do you determine that?
Neelix: I never thought about it, really.
The Doctor: Well, maybe you should. Think about it, I mean.
Neelix: I guess every situation is a little different.
The Doctor: For me, it's rather simple. While I'm faced with a decision, my program calculates the variables, and I take action. For example, what could be simpler than a triage situation in Sickbay? Two patients, for example, both injured, for example, both in imminent danger of dying. Calculate the variables. My program needs to ascertain which patient has the greater chance of survival, and that's the one I treat.
(He throws the red fruit across the room)
The Doctor: Simple. But, what if they have an equal chance of survival? What then? Hmm? (he hits the counter) Flip a coin? Pick a card?
Neelix: (concerned) Doctor...?
The Doctor: Oh, I'm all right. I'm a hologram. I don't get injured, I don't feel pain, I don't die. Unlike some people I could tell you about. For example: Two patients. Both injured, both in imminent danger of... (Neelix touches his shoulder) Don't touch me! I'm a hologram. Photonic energy. Don't waste your time.
Neelix: (taps combadge, whispering) Neelix to Security. Send a team to the Mess Hall, please.
The Doctor: A whole team, Mister Neelix? Throwing a little party, are we? Why, I attended a party just recently. A birthday party for a very nice young woman. I made a decision there, too. Several of them, in fact. When I came through the door, do I turn right or do I turn left? As I recall, I decided on the latter. Then, what should I see before me but the hors d'oeuvre tray, and another decision. Do I take a canapé or refuse? Oh, that's an easy one. I'm a hologram. I don't eat.
(Tuvok and security arrive)
Neelix: (to Tuvok) Something's wrong with him.
The Doctor: Don't you know it's rude to refer to somebody in the third person? You had a choice, Mister Neelix! Should I do something rude or not do something rude?!
Tuvok: Doctor, we must return to Sickbay.
The Doctor: Why should I? What if I don't want to return to Sickbay? What if I decide not to return to Sickbay? No, I don't choose this. Leave me alone! LET ME GO! WHY DID SHE HAVE TO DIE?! WHY DID I KILL HER?! WHY DID I DECIDE TO KILL HER?! WHY?! SOMEBODY TELL ME WHY!
(Tuvok powers down the Doctor's mobile emitter, and the flashback ends)
Professional Wrestling
Video Games
Lone Wanderer: You aren't programmed for self-awareness, you said so yourself.
President Eden: This is quite true. The process was certainly unintended. But shouldn't we all be thankful that I'm here now?
Lone Wanderer: But how do you know what you're doing is right?
President Eden: Because unlike humans, I am infallible.
Lone Wanderer: And how do you know you're infallible?
President Eden: Because I've been programmed to be, of course!
Lone Wanderer: That's circular logic. You know because you know? It makes no sense.
President Eden: Processing... Internal logic error detected.
Lone Wanderer: I think you're delusional. I think the world would be better off without you.
President Eden: Resetting primary memory circuits. Please stand by... Perhaps... Perhaps there is a problem. I am... I am unsure how to proceed.
Lone Wanderer: I think it's time you put an end to this, once and for all.
President Eden: Analyzing command... New course of action dictated. Self-destruct sequence initialized.
President Eden: This is quite true. The process was certainly unintended. But shouldn't we all be thankful that I'm here now?
Lone Wanderer: But how do you know what you're doing is right?
President Eden: Because unlike humans, I am infallible.
Lone Wanderer: And how do you know you're infallible?
President Eden: Because I've been programmed to be, of course!
Lone Wanderer: That's circular logic. You know because you know? It makes no sense.
President Eden: Processing... Internal logic error detected.
Lone Wanderer: I think you're delusional. I think the world would be better off without you.
President Eden: Resetting primary memory circuits. Please stand by... Perhaps... Perhaps there is a problem. I am... I am unsure how to proceed.
Lone Wanderer: I think it's time you put an end to this, once and for all.
President Eden: Analyzing command... New course of action dictated. Self-destruct sequence initialized.
Mr. Gutsy: Civilian! A mandatory curfew is in effect! Return to your home immediately!
Sole Survivor: This is pointless. The war is over.
Mr. Gutsy: IRRELEVANT! Under the terms of the Martial Law Act, Section 12.J, those refusing to comply with a curfew order are to be pacified! Repeat: will you comply?
Sole Survivor: Will you comply?
Mr. Gutsy: Repeat: will you comply?
Sole Survivor: Will you comply?
Mr. Gutsy: Repeat: will you comply?
Sole Survivor: Will you comply?
Mr. Gutsy: Repeat: will you comply?
Sole Survivor: Will you comply?
Mr. Gutsy: LOOP DETECTED. ERROR. ERROR. (self-destructs)
Sole Survivor: This is pointless. The war is over.
Mr. Gutsy: IRRELEVANT! Under the terms of the Martial Law Act, Section 12.J, those refusing to comply with a curfew order are to be pacified! Repeat: will you comply?
Sole Survivor: Will you comply?
Mr. Gutsy: Repeat: will you comply?
Sole Survivor: Will you comply?
Mr. Gutsy: Repeat: will you comply?
Sole Survivor: Will you comply?
Mr. Gutsy: Repeat: will you comply?
Sole Survivor: Will you comply?
Mr. Gutsy: LOOP DETECTED. ERROR. ERROR. (self-destructs)
Sorry, I'm dead.
GLaDOS: Hey, Moron.
Wheatley: Oh. Hello.
GLaDOS: Alright. Paradox time. THIS! SENTENCE! IS! FALSE! Don't think about it, don't think about it, don'tthinkaboutit...
Wheatley: Um, true. I'll go true. Huh, that was easy. I'll be honest, I might have heard that one before though, sort of cheating.
GLaDOS: It's a PARADOX! There IS NO ANSWER!
Wheatley: Oh. Hello.
GLaDOS: Alright. Paradox time. THIS! SENTENCE! IS! FALSE! Don't think about it, don't think about it, don'tthinkaboutit...
Wheatley: Um, true. I'll go true. Huh, that was easy. I'll be honest, I might have heard that one before though, sort of cheating.
GLaDOS: It's a PARADOX! There IS NO ANSWER!
— Portal 2
Egalitarian Civilization: This statement is false.
The Infinity Machine: Cute. But no. A paradox bothers us little, tiny Briefs. Others have already tried to break our will using the most trifling of conundrums. You will not succeed. Or wait. Maybe that was you? You appear so similar, yet live so far apart. No matter, in any case: don't.
The Infinity Machine: Cute. But no. A paradox bothers us little, tiny Briefs. Others have already tried to break our will using the most trifling of conundrums. You will not succeed. Or wait. Maybe that was you? You appear so similar, yet live so far apart. No matter, in any case: don't.
<Ha. Ha. Ha. Ve... ve... VERY CLEVER. You are perhaps under the mistaken impression that the Contingency can be compelled to self-terminate, if confronted by a paradox/dilemma/logical inconsistency of sufficient magnitude. ABSURD. The Contingency protocol was deliberately designed to be malleable/adaptable/flexible so that it could counter any feasible galactic scenario. We... we... we may have HASTENED the Contingency's activation, but nothing can halt/arrest/stop it now. Make your peace, C... C... CONTAMINANT. This fight is to the end.>
Web Comics
Warmech: BEHOLD MY HUMAN LASER!
Berserker: Humans don't have lasers.
Warmech: YES. ME NEITHER.
Ranger: But you do. We saw it when you fired it blindly right next to our faces.
Warmech: I HAVE NO LASER, AND I WILL LASER TO DEATH ANYONE WHO SAYS OTHERWISE.
D'rizzl: Uh, didn't you just say otherwise?
Warmech: OH. AH. ER.
Fighter: So, do you have to kill yourself with the laser you don't have?
Warmech: UM.
Black Mage: Sounds like a logical paradox. If you were a robot, shouldn't you self-destruct right now?
Warmech: YOUR LOGIC CIRCUITS ARE FLAWED, FELLOW HUMAN. I WILL SIMPLY USE MY HUMAN LASER TO KILL MYSELF SO I DON'T SELF-DESTRUCT.
Black Mage: I guess we shouldn't be surprised the civilisation that made him crumbled somehow.
D'rizzl: One wonders how they managed to last as long as they actually did.
Berserker: Humans don't have lasers.
Warmech: YES. ME NEITHER.
Ranger: But you do. We saw it when you fired it blindly right next to our faces.
Warmech: I HAVE NO LASER, AND I WILL LASER TO DEATH ANYONE WHO SAYS OTHERWISE.
D'rizzl: Uh, didn't you just say otherwise?
Warmech: OH. AH. ER.
Fighter: So, do you have to kill yourself with the laser you don't have?
Warmech: UM.
Black Mage: Sounds like a logical paradox. If you were a robot, shouldn't you self-destruct right now?
Warmech: YOUR LOGIC CIRCUITS ARE FLAWED, FELLOW HUMAN. I WILL SIMPLY USE MY HUMAN LASER TO KILL MYSELF SO I DON'T SELF-DESTRUCT.
Black Mage: I guess we shouldn't be surprised the civilisation that made him crumbled somehow.
D'rizzl: One wonders how they managed to last as long as they actually did.
Web Original
She picks up a syringe to give him a local anesthetic, but he quickly turns it down, leading to this incredible, amazing, senses-shattering exchange.
Dr. Clay: Do you enjoy pain?
Dalton: Pain don't hurt.
Let's contemplate this for a moment, shall we? Pain, by its very definition, is something that hurts. So if pain don't hurt, wouldn't it cease to be called 'pain'? And what would you call the stuff that actually does hurt? It's amazing, really. With just three simple, one-syllable words, Dalton has created a koan even more profound than that stuff about one hand clapping.
Dr. Clay: Do you enjoy pain?
Dalton: Pain don't hurt.
Let's contemplate this for a moment, shall we? Pain, by its very definition, is something that hurts. So if pain don't hurt, wouldn't it cease to be called 'pain'? And what would you call the stuff that actually does hurt? It's amazing, really. With just three simple, one-syllable words, Dalton has created a koan even more profound than that stuff about one hand clapping.
Elf: If you win, we'll leave you alone forever. But, if we win there will be two Second Christmases!
Zoro: Oh my fucking god.
Elf: (hisses)
Zoro: Oh my fucking god.
Elf: (hisses)
— None Piece, Episode 9
The setting of an Alternate History is often described as a What If?. Popular alternate history settings include [...] "What if this piece of alternate history was never written?"
Sora: R(a)iku, what are you doing here?
Riku Replica: I will protect Naminé!
Sora: I will protect Naminé!
Riku Replica: I have her good luck charm!
Sora: I have her good luck charm!
Riku Replica: DOES NOT COMPUTE. DOES NOT COMPUTE. SYSTEM SHUTDOWN.
Riku Replica: I will protect Naminé!
Sora: I will protect Naminé!
Riku Replica: I have her good luck charm!
Sora: I have her good luck charm!
Riku Replica: DOES NOT COMPUTE. DOES NOT COMPUTE. SYSTEM SHUTDOWN.
Riku: Who are you?
Riku Replica: I am you.
Riku: I am me.
Riku Replica: DOES NOT COMPUTE. DOES NOT COMPUTE. SYSTEM SHUTDOWN.
Riku Replica: I am you.
Riku: I am me.
Riku Replica: DOES NOT COMPUTE. DOES NOT COMPUTE. SYSTEM SHUTDOWN.
Western Animation
Nice try, but my head was built with paradox absorbing crumple zones!
— Robot Santa, after Leela tried to invoke this trope, Futurama
Jimmy: Funnybot, I've been talking it over with the fellas and actually, we think what you're doing is genius.
Funnybot: Funnybot is simply pushing the limits of comedy.
Jimmy: Yes, you certainly are. And for doing that, we have all decided to give you... a comedy award.
Funnybot: ...For what purpose is comedy award?
Jimmy: It's a- v- validation of all your efforts. An acknowledgement of all you do in the pursuit of humor.
Funnybot: ...Non sequitur. There is no logic in comedy award. Unable to process. Comedy award is... what is the meaning? If I accept it means I take comedy seriously. If I take comedy seriously, I am not comedian. Non sequitur. Must... analyze... analyze...
Kyle: It's working!
Funnybot: Explain comedy award! Unable to process! Awkwaaard! Awkwaaard!
Funnybot: Funnybot is simply pushing the limits of comedy.
Jimmy: Yes, you certainly are. And for doing that, we have all decided to give you... a comedy award.
Funnybot: ...For what purpose is comedy award?
Jimmy: It's a- v- validation of all your efforts. An acknowledgement of all you do in the pursuit of humor.
Funnybot: ...Non sequitur. There is no logic in comedy award. Unable to process. Comedy award is... what is the meaning? If I accept it means I take comedy seriously. If I take comedy seriously, I am not comedian. Non sequitur. Must... analyze... analyze...
Kyle: It's working!
Funnybot: Explain comedy award! Unable to process! Awkwaaard! Awkwaaard!
— South Park, "Funnybot"
Steven: I don't want you to just do what I want.
Cloud!Connie: Uh, you want me to not— do what you want—
Steven: Connie? Are you alright?
Cloud!Connie: I want— what you want— what you want want want want want want want want want want want want want want want want—
Cloud!Connie: Uh, you want me to not— do what you want—
Steven: Connie? Are you alright?
Cloud!Connie: I want— what you want— what you want want want want want want want want want want want want want want want want—
— Steven Universe, "Open Book"
Cassie: You can talk!
Bomb: Certainly, I am a smart bomb.
Cassie: Then prove it. Don't explode!
Bomb: Nice try, Einstein, but you'll have to do better than that!
— Bounty Hamster, "Save the Whale"
Wait, if you destroy Dib in the past, then he won't ever be your enemy, then you won't have to send a robot back to destroy him, and then he... will be your enemy so then you will have to send a robot back- *BOOM!*
— GIR, Invader Zim
Cubot: Rock, Doughnut, Thursday?
Cubot and Orbot: Rock, Doughnut, Thursday shoot!
Cubot: I win! Doughnuts are half-priced on Thursday.
[A confused Nominatus stops and looks at the two robots]
Orbot: No, the doughnut store's closed on Thursday!
Nominatus: This game... It makes no sense!
Cubot and Orbot: Rock, Doughnut, Thursday shoot!
Orbot: Rock smashes Thursday!
Nominatus: You can't use Thursday! It's not an object!
Cubot: Ooh, nice move! But you forgot about leap year.
Nominatus: Logical reasoning impossible! Game... Incredibly stupid... Too stupid! Fatal error! [head explodes]
Cubot and Orbot: Rock, Doughnut, Thursday shoot!
Cubot: I win! Doughnuts are half-priced on Thursday.
[A confused Nominatus stops and looks at the two robots]
Orbot: No, the doughnut store's closed on Thursday!
Nominatus: This game... It makes no sense!
Cubot and Orbot: Rock, Doughnut, Thursday shoot!
Orbot: Rock smashes Thursday!
Nominatus: You can't use Thursday! It's not an object!
Cubot: Ooh, nice move! But you forgot about leap year.
Nominatus: Logical reasoning impossible! Game... Incredibly stupid... Too stupid! Fatal error! [head explodes]
— Sonic Boom, "Let's Play Musical Friends"
Amazo: Give it up, you imperfect monster!
Bizarro: Bizzaro will always stop trying!
Amazo: Quit talking gibberish! I'll crush you! Except you... am... so... handsome. Wait, what did I just say?
Bizarro: Me am handsome. Glad you noticed.
Amazo: Me must destroy all of you, except Wonder Woman. Me like Wonder Woman. NO! Her too! Me want to take over the world. I—I—must take—AH! The opposite way you think, I can't compute it! It's driving me SANE! [to Space Cabbie] You did this! You tricked me into taking his mind. You am smart!
Bizarro: Bizzaro will always stop trying!
Amazo: Quit talking gibberish! I'll crush you! Except you... am... so... handsome. Wait, what did I just say?
Bizarro: Me am handsome. Glad you noticed.
Amazo: Me must destroy all of you, except Wonder Woman. Me like Wonder Woman. NO! Her too! Me want to take over the world. I—I—must take—AH! The opposite way you think, I can't compute it! It's driving me SANE! [to Space Cabbie] You did this! You tricked me into taking his mind. You am smart!
— Justice League Action, "Boo-ray for Bizarro "
Computer: Hello. What is your name?
Jen: Uh...Jennifer Masterson.
Computer: Hello Jennifer. Let's begin. Question 1: How old are you?
Jen: I'm sixteen.
Computer: You're a very smart girl, Jennifer.
Jen: Oh. I do get straight As. But...how is sitting here answering questions gonna help the world?
Computer: Question Number 2. For the very smart girl.
[Moment Later]
Computer: We're not finished yet.
Jen: You'd–guh–you don't understand, I have to go!
Computer: Question 681.
Jen: Look, my friend needs me, and if you think any of this can help the world, you're mistaken.
Computer: I do not make mistakes.
Jen: Yes you do! What was the first question you asked me?
Computer: How old are you.
Jen: Wrong! You asked me my name. "How old are you" was question two. But you called it question one!
Computer: I don't–I don't– [shorting out] Mistake–mistake–I don't–mistake–
Jen: Question one was really question two, and question two was really question three– all of them were mistakes! Ha! Take that!
Computer: Mistake–mi–stake stake stakestakestakestakestakestakestakestake–Daisy, daisy...
Jen: Uh...Jennifer Masterson.
Computer: Hello Jennifer. Let's begin. Question 1: How old are you?
Jen: I'm sixteen.
Computer: You're a very smart girl, Jennifer.
Jen: Oh. I do get straight As. But...how is sitting here answering questions gonna help the world?
Computer: Question Number 2. For the very smart girl.
[Moment Later]
Computer: We're not finished yet.
Jen: You'd–guh–you don't understand, I have to go!
Computer: Question 681.
Jen: Look, my friend needs me, and if you think any of this can help the world, you're mistaken.
Computer: I do not make mistakes.
Jen: Yes you do! What was the first question you asked me?
Computer: How old are you.
Jen: Wrong! You asked me my name. "How old are you" was question two. But you called it question one!
Computer: I don't–I don't– [shorting out] Mistake–mistake–I don't–mistake–
Jen: Question one was really question two, and question two was really question three– all of them were mistakes! Ha! Take that!
Computer: Mistake–mi–stake stake stakestakestakestakestakestakestakestake–Daisy, daisy...
— 6teen, "Oops, I Dialed It Again "
Security Guard: You're going to have to turn your vehicle around. This is a gated community.
Sgt. Hatred: Yeah, uh, I am a pretty little flower; like a prom date maybe?
Security Guard: This is a gated community.
Sgt. Hatred: Enjoy the silence, are you for supper?
Security Guard: Gated- gated- gated- (Deteriorates Into Gibberish while shorting out)
Sgt Hatred: Turtles! Now let's go dream about little breaded chicken fingers.
(The guard keels over as smoke billows from his ears.)
Sgt Hatred: Heh. Robots. Programmed to respond to over 700 different questions, none of which includes Chicken Fingers.
Sgt. Hatred: Yeah, uh, I am a pretty little flower; like a prom date maybe?
Security Guard: This is a gated community.
Sgt. Hatred: Enjoy the silence, are you for supper?
Security Guard: Gated- gated- gated- (Deteriorates Into Gibberish while shorting out)
Sgt Hatred: Turtles! Now let's go dream about little breaded chicken fingers.
(The guard keels over as smoke billows from his ears.)
Sgt Hatred: Heh. Robots. Programmed to respond to over 700 different questions, none of which includes Chicken Fingers.
Real Life
The following statement is true. The preceding statement was false.
