Attendant: How do you deal with players who try to break the game?
Gabe: Lie to them. Rob them. Drive them mad. Concoct impossible scenarios whose only outcome is their death.
And then, when their eyes glisten with shame and rage, drink their tears.
Gabe: Lie to them. Rob them. Drive them mad. Concoct impossible scenarios whose only outcome is their death.
And then, when their eyes glisten with shame and rage, drink their tears.
"Your bodies will remain undiscovered for (roll roll roll) 82 centuries!"
— Jason Fox, FoxTrot
Dave: Damn! I rolled a one.
B.A.: A one? Excellent! That gives me a chance to use the new Critical Miss rolls I just picked up.
B.A.: A one? Excellent! That gives me a chance to use the new Critical Miss rolls I just picked up.
Black Mage: You ever get the feeling that the universe is a vast, impersonal emptiness that exists only to hurt you?
Red Mage: Yes. It's how we know the DM is doing his job.
Red Mage: Yes. It's how we know the DM is doing his job.
"Kill the bastards."
— Second rule for GMs, Paranoia
As you can see I soon realized that Psycho Dave ran a game in roughly the same way that Warwick Davis in the film Leprechaun granted wishes. Everything you said your character did was scrutinized for some way to screw you over and the dice ruled all. He was the only guy I know who used a random monster encounter chart for Call of Cthulhu. You haven't lived until you've had a character go mad because he saw a nightgaunt sitting in a restroom stall reading a copy of the Necronomicon.
— Al Bruno III, from the RPG.Net rant "A Night At the Inn, A Day At the Racists"
and the Binder of Shame, describing the style of a particularly Killer Game Master. And the D&D game being recounted would only get worse from there.
and the Binder of Shame, describing the style of a particularly Killer Game Master. And the D&D game being recounted would only get worse from there."A dragon? You only wish. I have read the entire Killer GM and Rock Falls Everyone Dies pages in preparation for this moment. I have transcended the chains of pity and mercy towards other players. I am the lava flood and the T-Rex on the plains. I am the GMPC in all its horror, the Goddamned Bats in all their multitudes. I am the spawner of overpowered monsters and the ender of life. I AM THE DESTROYER OF GAMES... AND I SHALL BE YOUR END!!!"''
— The troper responsible for running the traps, taking offense at the thought of his throwing mere dragons at a tomb-raiding party, Hunt for the Ark.
"This brings up the first issue I have with D&D: There is no hope for you if you exist in this world. Nothing can be trusted. If the game master wants to kill you, you're dead."
—-Head Injury Theater, CELEBRATING 30 YEARS OF VERY STUPID MONSTERS.
Changing the engine of a campaign while the car is in motion is a tough sell, which is why the hiatus gives us some opportunities to approach these concerns in a broad way.
You will note that the blade of a guillotine is also broad.
You will note that the blade of a guillotine is also broad.
An evil GM gives the party fights they can't win and should run away from.
A killer GM gives the party fights they can't win and can't run away from.
A killer GM gives the party fights they can't win and can't run away from.
— Source Unknown
"I was nice enough to let you play in my world... and you ingrates repay me by rebelling against the master! Death to all players! I'll bury you in eternal night!"
—Yami Bakura, Yu-Gi-Oh! manga
"Fine, you can have your little saving throws. Roll the dice!"
"Forty-one!"
"Forty!"
"Forty-three!"
(Dexter rolls a 2 but changes it to 49)
"Hah! Forty-nine! You all FRYYYY!"
— Dexter and his friends, Dexter's Laboratory, "D&DD"
As I was going over the notes of our campaign
I realized the multitudes of characters that were slain
In retrospect I must admit it wasn't really fair
To lose first level characters to a flock of owlbears
We've had to roll so many saving throws in vain
To keep mind flayers from sucking out our brains
It never really mattered, the odds were all the same
This was a character slaughterhouse, you called it a campaign
I realized the multitudes of characters that were slain
In retrospect I must admit it wasn't really fair
To lose first level characters to a flock of owlbears
We've had to roll so many saving throws in vain
To keep mind flayers from sucking out our brains
It never really mattered, the odds were all the same
This was a character slaughterhouse, you called it a campaign
— Dan Marcotte, "Screw You, DM!"
Wow. What a terrible game master. Completely arbitrary. I wish I could’ve invited marcie over with my group. We’d have had a blast, drinking mountain dew and spinning epic tales of daring and heroism one dice roll at a time. I’m almost amazed at how horribly Gina screwed up.
First of all, that’s a disgustingly arbitrary needle trap. Traps don’t have the ability to CHOOSE a target. The least Gina could’ve done is roll a mischance to see if it would’ve gone toward ANYBODY if not the nearest person, Mike’s character. Furthermore, rogues (theives) DO get disable device (such as traps) as a class skill and I highly doubt that Marcie would’ve had a DEX lower than 16. That’s a +3 at LEAST. Rolling a 17, plus 3 and that’s assuming she’s -untrained-, renders a 20. It’s not a ‘natural 20’ which would be an instant success, but it’s a danged effective effort. And then, failing to disarm, a character gets to roll reflex to see if they can dodge the trap, which gina NEVER gave marcie a chance to do–and failing THAT, a fortitude save to see how effectively Black Leaf would’ve soaked or mitigated the poison damage.
Tsk Tsk.
Poor form. Very poor form.
First of all, that’s a disgustingly arbitrary needle trap. Traps don’t have the ability to CHOOSE a target. The least Gina could’ve done is roll a mischance to see if it would’ve gone toward ANYBODY if not the nearest person, Mike’s character. Furthermore, rogues (theives) DO get disable device (such as traps) as a class skill and I highly doubt that Marcie would’ve had a DEX lower than 16. That’s a +3 at LEAST. Rolling a 17, plus 3 and that’s assuming she’s -untrained-, renders a 20. It’s not a ‘natural 20’ which would be an instant success, but it’s a danged effective effort. And then, failing to disarm, a character gets to roll reflex to see if they can dodge the trap, which gina NEVER gave marcie a chance to do–and failing THAT, a fortitude save to see how effectively Black Leaf would’ve soaked or mitigated the poison damage.
Tsk Tsk.
Poor form. Very poor form.
—Stone Taggart commenting on Whatever Happened to Elfstar?
"Just for that, your entire party falls into Hell. Roll to see how painfully you die."
—Comic Book Guy, Comic Book Guy's Book of Pop Culture
"All you do is try to kill us."
—Dexter's Friend, Dexter's Laboratory, "D&DD"
