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Mitch Connor: You know nothing about your dad, right?
Eric Cartman: I know enough. My mother is a hermaphrodite, so she is actually my father.
Mitch Connor: You really still believe that garbage? The people in your town sold you that line. Come on, you have to have doubted it all along.
Eric Cartman: How would you know anything about who my family is?
Mitch Connor: Heh! I know all about the swindles and schemes in this deadend town. You got lied to, kid, by the people who are closest to you.

"The Media, never much good at analysis, is more and more breathless and incoherent. On CNN, even the stolid Jim Clancy started to hyperventilate when an Indian academic tried to explain how Iraq was once our ally and 'friend' in its war against our satanic enemy, Iran. 'None of that conspiracy stuff,' snarled Clancy. Apparently, 'conspiracy stuff' is now shorthand for unspeakable truth."
Gore Vidal, Dreaming War

Brian: Yeah, uh, about your pamphlet. Uh...I'm not seeing anything about German history between 1939 and 1945. There's just a big gap.
Tour Guide: Everyone was on vacation! On your left is Munich's first city hall, erected in 15...
Brian: Wait, wait, wait, wha-what are you talking about? Germany invaded Poland in 1939, and...
Tour Guide: We were invited! Punch was served! Check with Poland!
Brian: Well, you just can't ignore those years. Thomas Mann fled to America because of Nazism's stranglehold on Germany.
Tour Guide: Nope, nope, he left to manage a Dairy Queen.
Brian: A Dairy Queen?! That's preposterous!
Tour Guide: I will hear no more insinuations about the German people! NOTHING BAD HAPPENED! SIE WERDEN SICH HINSETZEN! SIE WERDEN RUHIG SEIN! SIE WERDEN NICHT BELEIDIGEN DEUTSCHLAND!
Family Guy, "Road to Europe"

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