"Imperial ration bars: unknown composition, palatable only to the desperately starving, and capable of surviving some forms of Exterminatus."
"Miss Mulligan wanted to try it,
But really it wasn't no use
For we worked in it over an hour
And we couldn't get none of it loose
Till Murphy came in with a hatchet
And Kelly came in with a saw
That cake was enough be the powers above
For to paralyze any man's jaws"
But really it wasn't no use
For we worked in it over an hour
And we couldn't get none of it loose
Till Murphy came in with a hatchet
And Kelly came in with a saw
That cake was enough be the powers above
For to paralyze any man's jaws"
"Ms Fogarty's Christmas Cake", Irish Christmas song, verse two.
"Foolish Customer! You cannot harm a Twinkie!"
Apu, The Simpsons
''Let me ask 'ya something children, are you hungry for some two hundred year old Salisbury Steak? Or are you hungry for some news? I'm guessing news, here 'ya go."
Three Dog, Fallout 3
They never go off. Arguably, they were never on.
— Crate of Incorruptible Biscuits description, Fallen London
There's a rumour that these biscuits were made for the Napoleonic War, fell with London, and were left uneaten even during the hungriest days of 1862. They are hard without being crunchy. And disconcertingly plentiful, after all this time.
— Fallen London (set in 1899), on Incorruptible Biscuits again
Gebrandt's biscuits are the most impervious food in the market: Crystalline in their perfection; in the mouth, they shatter into shards that scratch and claw at your palate. The mushrooms (preserved into tins and heated until they become mush) are similarly permanent.
— Fallen London one more time, on F. F. Gebrandt's attempt on food preservation
"Hope you like the fruitcake! It's a family heirloom!"
— Neighbour, The Sims
The staple of the soldier's diet was this hard-baked bread. Note that a soldier chose to memorialize his service on this item rather than eat it.
— Plaque describing a piece of hardtack from the Spanish-American War, National Infantry Museum
"Delicious! The overabundance of chemical preservatives, has kept this long forgotten frank, farm fresh!"
"By a curious quirk of chemistry, 20th- and 21st-century MREs with a 10-year shelf-life at 285 Kelvin stop going bad after about seventy years, and very, very slowly start getting better. The 1987-issue Chicken Patty (the "boot heel" which was originally best eaten suddenly, in a surprise assault, or better yet, thrown at the enemy) is particularly exquisite, having turned into a sweet, fluffy pudding by A.D. 2430, and into an actual mousse by 2890."
"Maybe next time you should try breaking the ice with something that can't actually break ice."
— Ignacio Suarez on Betty's muffins, Ugly Betty
"The food here is... [hits a loaf of bread against the table repeatedly] weapon's grade."
— General Amaya, The Dragon Prince
