"Well, she tried making it 'health food style', so it was, like, with nothing but natural ingredients and stuff, so, it... it, it tasted like ass. ...I don't know what ass tastes like, but I say it tasted like ass."
— Shadow, Super Playify
For breakfast, we both had whole-wheat breakfast squares! My mom said they were good for us, and I knew it had to be true, because...they didn't TASTE good.
— Bill Harley, "I Love My Sister"
No matter what they claim, there is only one diet that works. I call it the You-Gotta-Suffer Diet.
Having just lost 25 pounds in about 10 weeks, I know it works and I'm willing to share it with you. It's quite simple. You don't have to do a lot of calorie counting, measuring and weighing tiny bits of food or poring over time-consuming recipes. All you have to do is be miserable, which is fundamental to any successful diet. And you have to remember only one rule, the cornerstone of my diet.
The rule is: If you enjoy it, you can't have it; if you don't like it, you can eat all you want.
This rule derives from the scientifically acknowledged fact that Mother Nature is a nasty, sadistic, mean broad. She made everything that tastes good fattening. And everything that is not fattening tastes terrible.
An example is the Brussels sprout. Under my diet, you can eat all the Brussels sprouts you want. Stuff yourself with them. Shove them in your mouth with both hands. You won't gain an ounce. That's because Brussels sprouts are awful. Just as lettuce, celery, cabbage, carrots and most vegetables are awful. The only vegetable that isn't awful is the potato — and only when it's French fried. Or baked and heaped with butter, sour cream and chunks of bacon. Or covered with gooey cheese. Then the potato tastes great. Therefore, you can't eat it.
See how simple it is?
Having just lost 25 pounds in about 10 weeks, I know it works and I'm willing to share it with you. It's quite simple. You don't have to do a lot of calorie counting, measuring and weighing tiny bits of food or poring over time-consuming recipes. All you have to do is be miserable, which is fundamental to any successful diet. And you have to remember only one rule, the cornerstone of my diet.
The rule is: If you enjoy it, you can't have it; if you don't like it, you can eat all you want.
This rule derives from the scientifically acknowledged fact that Mother Nature is a nasty, sadistic, mean broad. She made everything that tastes good fattening. And everything that is not fattening tastes terrible.
An example is the Brussels sprout. Under my diet, you can eat all the Brussels sprouts you want. Stuff yourself with them. Shove them in your mouth with both hands. You won't gain an ounce. That's because Brussels sprouts are awful. Just as lettuce, celery, cabbage, carrots and most vegetables are awful. The only vegetable that isn't awful is the potato — and only when it's French fried. Or baked and heaped with butter, sour cream and chunks of bacon. Or covered with gooey cheese. Then the potato tastes great. Therefore, you can't eat it.
See how simple it is?
— Mike Royko
"You can't do that, you can't do that
There's no eating, cheating, trick, treating
You can't do that, you can't do that
You can't do that
Don't say it feels good, don't you do it
If it tastes good, throw it away
It's a sad truth, don't deny it
If you're gonna play, you're gonna pay"
There's no eating, cheating, trick, treating
You can't do that, you can't do that
You can't do that
Don't say it feels good, don't you do it
If it tastes good, throw it away
It's a sad truth, don't deny it
If you're gonna play, you're gonna pay"
— K.T. Oslin, "You Can't Do That
"
"Connie: The tea is ready! Here, try it!
Steven: Thanks!
Connie: How is it?
Steven: It's... Hmmm.... It's bad.
Connie: Well, yeah. It's not about tasting good, Steven. It's about surviving the punishment of nature.
Steven: Thanks!
Connie: How is it?
Steven: It's... Hmmm.... It's bad.
Connie: Well, yeah. It's not about tasting good, Steven. It's about surviving the punishment of nature.
— Steven Universe, "Gem Hunt"
Vile-tasting but undeniably good for you.
— Flavor Text (no pun intended) for Tofu, Fable
"Granola bars have to be good for you, right? Well, if they taste awful, then yes. If they taste good, it's probably the same ingredients that make candy bars taste good: sugar, fat and chocolate."
— Cracked, 8 Health Foods That Are Bad For Your Health
"Ugh, I hope it heals better than it tastes!"
— Kerillian upon downing a Healing Draught, The End Times: Vermintide
"Dey taste like death, but do da opposite!"
— Flavor text for Healy Mushrooms, Total War: Warhammer
Jamie Oliver: [Egg Fried Rice is] often associated with being unhealthy — this has been made to be healthy.
[Video pauses]
Uncle Roger: If by "healthy" you mean "disgusting", then Jamie, you are right.
[Video pauses]
Uncle Roger: If by "healthy" you mean "disgusting", then Jamie, you are right.
"Why is it that every single tv show about eating healthy tells you to eat vegetables? If you ask me, they all taste like they should be bad for your health."
— Rui Kamishiro, Project SEKAI
Mark: Research and development have come up with a new snack for the health-conscious middle classes.
Gary Prince: What's it like?
Mark: They're vile, they taste like sawdust in linseed oil.
Gary Prince: Well, that'll be why they're selling - if they taste awful, they've gotta be good for you.
Gary Prince: What's it like?
Mark: They're vile, they taste like sawdust in linseed oil.
Gary Prince: Well, that'll be why they're selling - if they taste awful, they've gotta be good for you.
— A Prince Among Men, "Injury Time"
"This shape! This sheen! It looks like it'll taste horrible, which means it's gotta be good for you!"
— Arven after obtaining the Sour Herba Mystica, Pokémon Scarlet and Violet
Brent: [regarding Chicken Kiev] It's interesting.
Lacey: What does that mean?
Brent: Means it's of interest. I mean, there's chicken. Uhh... I like the fried element to it, big fan of fried. But then some kinda goop oozed out of it. Not a big fan of goop.
Lacey: That "goop" is butter.
Brent: Ooh, big fan of butter.
Emma: Chicken stuffed with butter, that's just gross. And unhealthy.
Brent: Ooh, big fan of unhealthy! The verdict's in: I likes it!
Lacey: What does that mean?
Brent: Means it's of interest. I mean, there's chicken. Uhh... I like the fried element to it, big fan of fried. But then some kinda goop oozed out of it. Not a big fan of goop.
Lacey: That "goop" is butter.
Brent: Ooh, big fan of butter.
Emma: Chicken stuffed with butter, that's just gross. And unhealthy.
Brent: Ooh, big fan of unhealthy! The verdict's in: I likes it!
