Quotes / If It Bleeds, It Leads

Films — Live-Action

Professor Harold Monroe: I mean, what's exceptional about a primitive tribe like the Yacumo being... terrorized, and forced into doing something they don't... they don't normally do?
TV Executive: Come on, Professor, let's be realistic! Who knows anything about the Yacumo civilization? Today, people want sensationalism. The more you rape their senses, the happier they are.

—Cannibal Holocaust

"Suicides, assassinations, mad bombers, Mafia hitmen, murder in the barbershop, human sacrifices in witches' covens, automobile smashups. The Death Hour! A great Sunday night show for the whole family."

— Max Schumacher, Network

"The best and clearest way that I can phrase it for you, to capture the spirit of what we air, is think of our news cast as a screaming woman running down the street with her throat cut."

—Nina Romina, Nightcrawler

"Two girls butchered. Payday. I was so not feeling Woodsboro. I was like, 'Lame PR move.' Well, fuck me now. Best. Idea. Ever."

— Rebecca Walters, Scream 4

"There's no news.... like bad news."

— Elliot Carver, Tomorrow Never Dies

Literature

The more wonderful the means of communications, the more trivial, tawdry, or depressing its contents seemed to be. Accidents, crimes, natural and man-made disasters, threats of conflict, gloomy editorials - these still seemed to be the main concern of the million of words being sprayed into the ether. Yet Floyd also wondered if this was altogether a bad thing: the newspapers of Utopia, he had long ago decided, would be terribly dull.

— 2001: A Space Odyssey

Live-Action TV

Juanín: Tulio, today there's been... no robberies, no crimes, no injustices, no wars... doesn't it make you glad, as a human being?

Tulio: OF COURSE NOT! This is a news program, you hear me, a news program! WE LIVE OFF THE MISFORTUNE OF OTHERS! What do you want, for me to stare at the audience for half an hour!?

— 31 Minutos

Charlie Brooker: "Anyway, I guess what I'm saying is, there's generally more good than bad in the world. Unless you're watching the news, which likes to Accentuate the Negative at every turn."
Dr. Park Dietz, forensic psychiatrist: "We've had twenty years of mass murderers, throughout which I have repeatedly told CNN and our other media, if you don't want to propagate more mass murders, don't start the story with sirens blaring.^note Cut to sirens blaring, and "The school day had only just begun when the attacker struck." Don't have photographs of the killer.^note Cut to a black-and-white image of a spree killer, and "The 17-year-old's three-hour rampage ended in his own death." Don't make this 24/7 coverage.^note Cut to "The German Chancellor is about to give her reaction. We'll bring that to you live." Do everything you can not to make the body count the lead story,^note Cut to "Carnage in the classroom, sixteen people are dead." not to make the killer some kind of Anti-Hero.^note Cut to "Dressed in black combat gear, the gunman opened fire at random." Do localize this story to the affected community, and make it as boring as possible in every other market. Because every time we have intense saturation coverage of a mass murder, we expect to see one or two more within a week.
Charlie Brooker: In summary, then, not only does bad news always trump good news, but that bad news might itself actually help create more bad news. Which is good news, if you're the news.

—Newswipe, "Violence in the Media"

Music

We got the bubble-headed bleached-blonde, comes on at five
She can tell you 'bout the plane crash with a gleam in her eye
It's interesting when people die, give us dirty laundry
Can we film the operation? Is the head dead yet?
You know, the boys in the newsroom got a running bet
Get the widow on the set, we need dirty laundry

— Don Henley, "Dirty Laundry"

Dear Mr. Murdoch, what do you know
With your minions like vultures and carrion crow?
They've sunk just as low as humans can sink
For profit, they tell us how mass murderers think

— Roger Taylor, "Dear Mr. Murdoch"

You know I watched that rotten box until my head begin to hurt
From checkin' out the way the newsman say they get the dirt
Before the guys on channel so-and-so and further they assert
That any show they'll interrupt! To bring you news if it comes up!
They say that if the place blows up they will be the first to tell
Because the boys they got downtown are workin' hard and doin' swell
And if anybody gets the news before it hits the street
They say that no one blabs it faster, their coverage can't be beat
And if another woman driver gets machine-gunned from her seat
They'll send some joker with a brownie and you'll see it all complete

— Frank Zappa, "Trouble Every Day"

Stand-up Comedy

"I don't really watch the news any more. I just have two old men sitting at the end of my room, staring at each other. On the hour, every hour, one of them shouts at the other one 'Terrorist!' And the other one shouts 'Paedophile!' And then a woman walks between them and says 'Rain expected.'"

— Dylan Moran, Off The Hook

Video Games

"Officials say there are still no reported casualties, which is truly unfortunate, as it makes for incredibly boring news."

— WCTR reporter Richard Burns, Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas

peace is boring. violence goes viral.
who tunes in to watch *people get along?*

—We Become What We Behold

Web Video

"It's a shame that this is one of the only things I've seen mainstream media pick up in terms of Roblox, at least for a lot of cases, is when there's been stuff like this that's been going on despite the fact that the Roblox platform has had awesome, amazing things that has came from it. And hey, negativity gets click, that's why you're watching this video."

— Koneko Kitten, "roblox got on the news AGAIN...and its cringeworthy"

Western Animation

Tom Tucker: Adult stuff. Adult stuff. Adult stuff. The world is scary. Adult stuff. Adult stuff. Scary people yelling in another part of the world. Adult stuff.
Stewie: I wish Mom wouldn't watch the news in front of me!

— Family Guy, "A Lot Going On Upstairs"

Real Life/Other

"In keeping with the WXLT practice of presenting the most immediate and complete reports of local blood and guts news, TV 40 presents what is believed to be a television first. In living color, an exclusive coverage of an attempted suicide."

— Last words of American television news reporter Christine Chubbuck, the first person to die by suicide on a live television broadcast

"Anyone got raped and speaks English?!"

— Apparently a true story about a British reporter asking this a group of Belgian tourists after they were taken hostage by rebels in Africa.

"Dude, this shit's gonna go viral!"

— John Earle Sullivan filming Ashli’s Babbitt’s death.

"Seems the more people you kill, the more you're in the limelight."

— American mass murderer Christopher Harper-Mercer

"It suddenly hit me. That's what people want to see. That's what I'll give them, blood and gore."

Generoso Pope, Jr., creator of the National Enquirer tabloid, describing his reaction to a gruesome traffic accident

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