Quotes / I Know Madden Kombat

Video Games

Steven Armstrong: Played college ball, ya know.
Raiden: At some cushy Ivy League school.
Steven Armstrong: Try University of Texas. Coulda gone pro if I hadn't joined the Navy. I'm not one of those Beltway pansies. I could break the president in two... with my bare hands! Don't fuck with this senator!

— Metal Gear Rising: Revengeance

Web Original

"Let's say you're at the plate and you've made the decision to kill the pitcher. Maybe he's been sending balls into your personal space. Maybe he's been sending balls into your wife's personal email. The point is, you're holding a club and there are spikes on your feet, so this should be easy."

— Seanbaby, "5 Craziest Fights in Professional Sports"

"Casey’s a pretty unnecessary character in this movie – there’s really nothing he does to affect the plot other than stop Michelangelo from hitting on April and making us all uncomfortable with thoughts of turtle boners – but I do like the portrayal of him in this scene a lot. I really enjoy the idea that he’s a dude who absolutely sucks at fighting, until you give him any kind of sports equipment, at which time he can just beat your ass in two hits."

— Chris Sims and Matt Wilson on Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (1990)

Western Animation

"Grrr... Why did she have to be a cheerleader?! If she was on the debate team, I would have vaporized her by now!"

— A frustrated Dr. Drakken unable to land a hit with his Death Ray, Kim Possible

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