Quotes / Horse of a Different Color

Film — Animated

CUT TO POCAHONTAS SHOWING JUGHEAD HOW TO RIDE A HORSE. IT'S NOT REALLY A HORSE, THOUGH. IT'S AN ALIEN HORSE LIKE THING. BUT NOT AN ACTUAL HORSE. LOOK, IT'S GOT MORE LEGS THAN AN EARTH HORSE. AND IT'S GOT THESE ANTENNAE TYPE THINGS. DEFINITELY NOT A HORSE.

OKAY, IT'S A HORSE.

— Avatar: The Metacontextual Edition

Film — Live-Action

Thor: I need a horse!
Pet Shop Clerk: We don't have horses. Just dogs, cats and birds...
Thor: Then give me one of those large enough to ride!

— Thor

Literature

Behold then at the clearing of the airs they saw, but a few furlongs off, a knot of men that fled on foot, and these were pursued by a strange cavalry, for on great wolves rode Orcs, as they thought, brandishing spears.

— The Fall of Gondolin

Live-Action TV

Tim: Sure, because riding a motorcycle looks cool and all, but-
Tony: But nobody messes with a man riding an elephant.

— NCIS

Music

Pretty Chocobo, what a happy time on your back
They may look like a chick
But they go quick
With a dramatic kick!

— Hyadain, "Rap de Chocobo"

Tabletop Games

Now, because I can tell you are a discerning customer, miss, I can tell that a horse just won't do. Any old stuffy noble can ride a horse anywhere. And don't get me started on camels. Nasty beasts, unsanitary. Spit everywhere, those camels. No, what a woman of your high class needs is a triceratops! Don’t tell me you’re not charmed. That graceful beak, the elegant ivory curve of his horns! You'll be the talk of the town, I can guarantee you that! Imagine yourself striding into the city square in a gleaming, jeweled saddle on the back of your very own triceratops, crushing any carriages that try to jostle you! I’m telling you, you won't regret this.

—Vallero Halucine, a somewhat unusual animal merchant, Pathfinder

Now I'm not saying that horses are without their uses. They can get a move on. If worse comes to worst, one can feed a platoon for a week. Thing is, though, once the slugs and lasbolts start flashing about, being on a horse ain't that much use. On Kashann, though, we have hunting lizards. They have a hide thick as a flak vest and a bite that'll take your arm off. Now you tell me, if you were going to ride into a battle, which would you rather be on?

—Sgt. Uriens Quist, 3rd Kashann Xeno Riders, Warhammer 40,000

Video Games

So you think you can ride this chocobo / Got chocobucks? You better put them on this chocobo! / Saddle up, if you think you can ride in this rodeo / Are we in hell? I don't know... to the dirt, let's roll!

— "Crazy Chocobo" theme while riding a rambunctious chocobo in Final Fantasy XIII-2

Web Original

Stupid freakin' horse!

— raocow on the subject of Yoshi, frequently

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