Quotes / Ho Yay

Real Life

Coincidentally, "subtext" is an anagram of "buttsex".

— Fandom Wank Wiki

You know who would be a funny faggot? Ralph Kramden and Ed Norton. Wouldn't they be funny faggots?

—Eddie Murphy, Delirious, (1983)

"People moan that the potentially yucky idea of the Doctor and his companion getting it on has been exploited too much of late. Oh please. The second Doctor and Jamie bromance started the trend!"

—Doc Oho on Doctor Who

Jack: Mala's always like, 'You always put Han before your family!'

Mike: 'You enjoy sex with Han more than me!'

Rich: Han shoots first.

—Best of the Worst on The Star Wars Holiday Special

Chris: Also, it’s worth noting that without ever seeing Bart/Impulse’s previous appearance, the message I got from this was that he and Clark are totally ex-boyfriends. I mean, seriously, dude has more chemistry with Tom Welling than Erica Durance and Kristin Kreuk combined. It’s pretty much like this for all the super-heroes, though. They shoot for “chummy cameraderie” and somehow land in “slash fiction, start your engines.”

David: “I’ll go… south of the border… with you ANY time, Clark.”

Chris: There’s a part where Bart starts hitting on Chloe and Clark just starts acting SUPER-jealous. All “SHE HAS A BOYFRIEND, AMIGO.”

—Chris Sims and David Uzumeri on Smallville ("Justice")

"The homoerotic tension between Will [Graham] and Hannibal [Lecter] is crazy. But no-one ever says, like, 'Would you guys fuck already?' Like, no-one ever says 'I think Hannibal's interest is a little gay.' It's never said, even Jack [Crawford], who you'd expect to go 'What the fuck is going on? I mean, do you want—? Does he—? What does he want with you?!'

— Co-star Scott Thompson on the show, Hannibal

Wha? You are giving the Slash Fic-ers material!

— Linkara, The Spoony Experiment's review of "Warrior" #2-3

Fuck it, we're off to the pride parade!

— The Nostalgia Chick, during her review of She-Ra: Princess of Power

... Flair walks up to Hogan, hugs him and says "I swear to God, every day I'm going to wake up loving you a little bit more". Okay, little gay. Oh well it is wrestling.

— Spoony, during an episode of Wrestle Wrestle

I love all the gay people of Australia, I find you all very attractive.

— Paul McDermott lampshading the homoerotic subtext that is Good News Week

Oh for the love of God, why didn't you marry Bruce instead of Lois?

— Linkara in his review of Superman: At Earth's End, after Supes waxes a bit too poetic about his dead friend.

Much leads up to a scene in a tent on a mountaintop in the midst of a howling blizzard, when Bella’s teeth start chattering. Obviously a job for the hot-blooded Jacob and not the cold-blooded Edward, and as Jacob embraces and warms her, he and Edward have a cloying cringe fest in which Edward admits that if Jacob were not a werewolf, he would probably like him, and then Jacob admits that if Edward were not a vampire — well, no, no, he couldn’t. Come on, big guy. The two of you are making eye contact. Edward’s been a confirmed bachelor for 109 years. Get in the brokeback spirit.

— Roger Ebert, in his review of The Twilight Saga: Eclipse

I'd say there was a subtle subtext here that Sam is deeply in love with Frodo, but it's more like skywriting with brass band accompaniment.

— The Agony Booth, recap of The Lord of the Rings

Male friends hug, toast their friendship, and later stumble drunkenly to sleep in the cabin's one bed. The reader is way ahead of you — they are secretly gay, and nothing you say later is going to change his mind. If you do not intent them to be secretly gay, let Alan sleep on the couch.

— How NOT to Write a Novel

Arin: This was, like, scientifically formulated to be like...gay fanfiction ahoy.
Dan: You think so?
Arin: Oh my god, yes, come on!

—Game Grumps on Ace Attorney

To say that every Friendship is consciously and explicitly homosexual would be too obviously false; the wiseacres take refuge in the less palpable charge that it is really—unconsciously, cryptically, in some Pickwickian sense—homosexual. And this, though it cannot be proved, can never of course be refuted.

—C. S. Lewis, The Four Loves

Let’s say you’re watching, I don’t know, House, M.D. And you’re enamoured of House and Wilson’s soul-bond. Now, because House is a show written by straight people in the mid-2000s, they’re not actually a couple; they just do #BroThings like living together and proposing marriage to each other and faking their own deaths to ride off into the sunset on motorbikes together at the end of the series. If you’re queer, you probably have your own personal House — some mainstream thing with a secret voice that spoke to you. So you know that House and Wilson, and the countless fictional relationships like them, exist in this weird, liminal space: not a Man and a Woman, and thus not allowed a textual romance; clearly in love, but trapped in media properties that are totally oblivious to gay relationships and communities and identifying terminology.

—The Niche, "What is 'The Dynamic,' Anyway?"

In-Universe

Two men, on tape, working out, building their pectoral muscles. And this man hears gay sex. Which leads me to the conclusion that this man is either gay himself, or not... straight.

— Barry Lincoln, Adam Sandler's Sex or Weight Lifting

They slapped each other on the back and poked each other in the stomach, and wrestled, the way men hug each other without hugging.

— Randy Alcorn, Deadline

"Well, you have now, Sam, dear Sam", said Frodo, and he lay back in Sam's gentle arms, closing his eyes, like a child at rest when night-fears are driven away by some loved voice or hand. Sam felt that he could sit like that in endless happiness; but it was not allowed. It was not enough for him to find his master, he had still to try and save him. He kissed Frodo's forehead.

— The Lord of the Rings

That look was so gay, I thought Sam was gonna tell the little hobbits to take a walk so he could saunter over to Frodo and suck his fucking cock!

— Randal Graves, Clerks II

Sakura: He looks a little bit like Sasuke-kun.
Naruto: Yeah right! They don't look anything alike! Sasuke looks tons better! Err... no wait, he doesn't look as bad I mean!
Sakura (smiling): You're right, Sasuke-kun does look a little better than Sai.
Naruto: Not just a "little bit!" Sasuke doesn't look anywhere near that bad!

— Naruto

Interviewer: Naruto-kun sees you as a rival but what about you?
Sasuke: Naruto eh ... ? At first I thought he was just a moron who gets in the way, but, frankly, he's been impressing me lately, just a little bit.
Interviewer: What did the kiss with Naruto taste like? Lemon?
Sasuke: Hmmm ... Like Miso I guess ... I mean ... like I remember! Damn Naruto, why would he do that?!

— Naruto

This is quite homoerotic.

— Captain Jack Harkness sums up 90% of Torchwood

Alan Shore: Denny’s my friend. He takes me to nice places, buys me nice things, we like to dress up.
Denny Crane: Flamingos.

— Boston Legal

We're Going to Need a Bigger Closet. Male friends hug, toast their friendship, and later stumble drunkenly to sleep in the cabin's one bed. The reader is way ahead of you - they are secretly gay, and nothing you say later is going to change his mind.

— How NOT to Write a Novel

Rolf fell in love with the guy!

— Eddy, Ed, Edd n Eddy

Booster Gold: I can't take this anymore! Ever since this team got back together you've been treating me like dirt!
Blue Beetle: Get a grip, Booster, you're acting like some jilted lover.
Booster Gold: Well, that's what it feels like!

— Formerly Known As The Justice League

There was a time, when I was young and gay - but straight!

— Max Bialystock, The Producers

My existence bordered on the tragic - always timid, never took a chance.
Then I felt his magic, and my heart began to dance.
I was always frightened, fraught with worry, 'til him...
I was going nowhere in a hurry, 'til him...
He filled up my empty life, filled it to the brim.
There could never ever be another one... like him!

— Leo Bloom, on Max Bialystock, The Producers

Devon: I'm honestly not trying to make this sound gay.
Jack: No one is, it's just happening.

— 30 Rock

Yusei: You can be my wingman any day, Yugi.
Yami: No, Yusei. You can be mine.
sultry sax plays, they eyesex
Yusei: No homo, right?
Yami: ALL OF THE HOMO!

— Yu-Gi-Oh the Abridged Movie: Bonds Beyond Time

Uh, Cas - not for nothing but, last person who looked at me like that? I got laid.

— Dean, Supernatural

I stand by the fact that I flirt with you, more than I flirt with any other human being.

— Zane McBane to his partner Drake/2IC

Constable Habib: Two blokes, sharing a flat, sometimes it's months between cases. What do they get up to in the meantime?
Inspector Fowler: They chat! They smoke their pipes! They poke the fire!
Det. Constable Kray: Hur hur hur hur!
Habib: Look, sir, if Holmes and Watson are lovers, so what? Is there anything wrong with that?
Fowler: Yes, Constable, there is. Because sex plays no part in these stories whatsoever; hetero- or otherwise. The point of Biggles and of Sherlock Holmes is to solve crimes and kill Germans, and by heavens, that should be enough for anyone!

— The Thin Blue Line

Yeah, no, Mr. White's gay for me. Everyone knows that.

— Jesse Pinkman, Breaking Bad.

Sawyer: So... you screwin' Jack yet?
Juliet: No... are you?

— Lost

Peridot: (on a Show Within a Show) Somehow the rejects at Camp Clod fail to recognize the superior pair that is Pierre and Percy.
Steven: Well, that's cause Paulette likes Percy.
Peridot: Paulette? Ha! Paulette has no place in the camp's hierarchy. Now Pierre, Pierre is a brute! Pierre laid waste to the three-legged races. Pierre and Percy present the strongest battle formation. They'd destroy the camp!
Steven: You got all that from one episode?
Peridot: It's subtext, Steven.

— Steven Universe, "Log Date 7 15 2"

Janeway unwittingly created a gay subtext moment as she stared into the attractive engineer's eyes.

— The Voyorgy Conspiracy, a Star Trek: Voyager Parody Fic

Sothe: Entering Gallia by yourselves would be nearly impossible. The man you need to get you into Gallia actually resides in Crimea. That man, Ike, is in contact with King Caineghis and his advisors. There's no doubt in my mind that he's the man you need.
Micaiah: Right. Lord Ike, "hero" of the Crimean Liberation, leader of the Greil Mercenaries, and father of Sothe's children...

— Fire Emblem: Radiant Dawn

Star-Lord: How is this dude still alive?
Drax: He is not a dude. You're a dude. This... this is a man. A handsome, muscular man.

— Avengers: Infinity War

"Sorry tails if this looks gay to the viewers."

—Sonic the Hedgehog, Tails Gets Trolled

Sonic: Hm, didn't you know? We have a date with Eggman too!"

Shadow: Is that so? Well then, it will be a date to DIE for.

—Sonic Heroes

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