No naked little men sat on the summit dispensing wisdom, because the first thing the truly wise man works out is that sitting around on mountaintops gives you not only hemorrhoids but frostbitten hemorrhoids.
Eliot: I imagine I'll retreat to some lonely mountaintop. Become a hermit for a while. I'll grow a long beard and people will come to me for advice, like in cartoons.
Josh: Advice about what? About whether a dark suit counts as black tie?
Janet: And I'd like to see you try to grow a beard. God, you're self-centered. Don't you want to help people?”
Eliot: People? What people?
Janet: Poor people! Hungry people! Sick people! People who can't do magic!
Eliot: What have people ever done for me? People don't want my help. People called me a faggot and threw me in a dumpster at recess when I was in fifth grade because my pants were pressed.
Janet: Well, I hope for your sake there's a wine cellar on your mountaintop. Or a full bar. You won't last eight hours without a drink.
Why do wise men always live in the middle of nowhere?
— Joe, Time Warp Trio ("Wushu Were Here")
